Taco Tuesday.
Nothing too interesting to report today. Found a spot to celebrate Taco Tuesday, the national holiday of everywhere in the world, apparently. I will do anything not to celebrate Christmas, lol.
They originally sat me with my back facing the escalator, but I asked to move so I could see outside. I said it was a safety issue. Luckily, they understood. They asked me where I’m from and I said the US. You know how crazy the gun culture is there. I can’t quite get over the fear that someone could come charging in at any moment and shoot up the place. It’s a real thing.
It was raining today so I just stayed at home and cleaned my apartment. Looked for new apartments. Looked for jobs. The job hunt is overwhelming me. I was definitely not prepared for this. I feel like I’m totally out of my league over here. I think my best option right now is to either be delusionally overconfident in that way only an American can be, or to be a “slasher.”
I think delusional overconfidence is the only way to go. I am just so lost right now, lol. I have no idea what I’m doing. I wasn’t prepared for this when I came here. I wasn’t even prepared to come here. I jumped at the first opportunity I was offered to get the fuck out of South Dakota, and it just so happened to be Hong Kong. So I’m here now and I have to do what I have to do to survive. Fake it until you make it.
Some random guy was lurking around outside staring at me for some time before he came in and sat down at the bar near me. Oh jeez. I am so not in the mood for this tonight. I’m really not. I already went to an English pub last night after the Irish pub and was randomly approached by some random Hungarian beefcake. He works in Shenzhen.
As a general rule, anyone who works on the Mainland and comes to Hong Kong is a Fuckboy. He was hot, but he had to cross the bridge to get here. He said he won’t be back for another month. No thank you. I definitely left him at the bar and came home alone.
The upside is that he told me some good spots to go play tennis at. Noted. Wow, can’t believe it never occurred to me to hire a tennis coach. Everyone knows the affair with the tennis coach is a classic. Wait, does that count as hiring a sex worker? I don’t need that in my life. I’m not gonna pay some guy to bang me. Especially since all I have to do is sit alone at a bar and they just swarm around me like moths to the flame.
I guess technically you’re paying someone to meet you at the same time in the same place every week. It’s a convenience thing. You get what you pay for. Picking up random guys at bars and using dating apps is a great way to get used and ghosted. Ask me how I learned that lesson the hard way.
Sorry, random guy over there. I am still hung up on my mysterious Irish Guy. I will say I am channeling the obsession quite healthily for once. Every time I wonder about him, I just go learn something about Ireland instead. I’m sure he would approve. I’m about to learn a whole new language because of this guy just to avoid obsessing over him. Well done. Well done, indeed. Really going for the Gold here. Someone wants to be Number One on the Island of Lost Guys. Look at this guy out here representing Ireland in the International Olympics of Men. He didn’t even have to try that hard. Literally all he had to do was exist.
I respect the fuck out of that.
Alright alright alright, let’s go Team Ireland! Can he beat Mexico for the Gold Medal? Idk, I am at Taco Tuesday right now. But, you know, I was at the Irish Pub last night having my Hot Beef Stew with a side of mashed potatoes, so…
I know what you are thinking right now: “Betsey, why don’t you have an authentic Chinese experience?”
The answer is because I have an authentic Chinese experience every day of my life. What I’ve learned is that the most authentic Chinese experience one can have is someone walking right into you because people have no sense of personal space or direction over here. If I am not actively on alert at all times, I will 100% be mowed down by someone who is too busy staring at their phone to notice anything around them.
It is what it is.
Also, I can’t bring myself to walk into any restaurant that has actual animals (living or dead) on display in the window out front. I can’t do it. I just can’t. The Seaspiracy lives on inside of me. I just can’t do it.
Good news: the random guy left. He kept trying to make eyes at me to start a conversation, but I am just not in the mood. Besides, I hate that shit. I prefer a more direct approach. Attempting to make subtle eye contact from a distance doesn’t do it for me anymore. It suggests you’re already afraid of me. I don’t like that. I want someone who isn’t going to be afraid of me. You gotta be able to handle the Scorpion’s stinger, the Dragon claws, and the Breath of Fire. I don’t want someone who isn’t intimidated by me in any way, shape, or form.
If you can’t handle the bull, don’t grab it by the horns.
It is what it is.
That’s probably why I am still fixating on the Irish Guy. He wasn’t intimidated by me. Well, I guess maybe he was. After all, he did purchase my data package and send someone to follow me in order to keep tabs on me. Not to mention the fact that he has deliberately arranged things so I will never find out who he is or anything about him, ever, so…
I admit the whole situation is slightly unhinged, but it is what it is. At least it’s more entertaining than some of the other ones have been. I still giggle to myself when I think about how ridiculous I was acting the night I met him. I was literally not even being serious with him at all. I was just joking around. And I was wearing my elephant pants. In no world that I come from would that suggest anything serious. He was pretty serious, though. It definitely took him some time to loosen up and finally just laugh.
Whatever. All men are the same. They like to pretend they aren’t, but they are, so… whatever.
Another Corona? Si, por favor! Yo amo Taco Tuesday!
I need to read some Irish romance novels or something. Can you even imagine? I literally cannot. I’m sure they are a treasure to behold, lol. Omg, I need to look this up right now!
What titles have we got here? Oh boy, looks like some good ones.
Devil in Dublin. Yes, please.
My Irish Billionaires. Hmm, they must be part of the Guinness family. Who else in Ireland has that much money to blow? Also, why are there three of them on the cover? Are they brothers? Is she banging them all at once? I have so many questions right now.
Irish Rebel: An Age-gap Bodyguard Mafia Romance. Wow, that’s quite a subtitle there.
My Brother’s Irish Friends. Again, there’s three of them on the cover and all of them are shirtless. Is this an IRA gangbang?
My Favourite Mistake. Hmm, sounds relatable.
Her Mafia Daddy. LMFAO!!!! Ridiculous. I cannot take anyone or anything seriously that sexualizes the word ‘Daddy.’ That’s just weird and gross.
The Keeper of the Irish Secret. Yeah, that sounds like this guy, alright.
My Life in Shambles. Yes, it certainly is. Again, sounds relatable.
The Oyster Catcher. Oh, I bet he is…
One Night Only: An Absolutely Hilarious and Uplifting Romantic Comedy. Wow, these titles are so relatable. I’m starting to see a pattern here.
Hahahaha, that made me laugh. Excellent. Thank you, Google. I really needed that today.
I see “My Hot Beef Stew” isn’t taken yet. Noted!
Okay, that’s enough of that now. Time get drunk on Coronas and try to forget this guy exists.