I learned a new word this week. That word is Deplorable. It’s a big fancy word for Trashy, but like, in a truly sociopathic type of way. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard this word many times before. However, I did not understand the true *meaning* of it until I finally had a big epiphany about it this week. That epiphany was that I really do exist in a basket of deplorables. The good news is, I am not responsible for the deplorable actions of others. I am only responsible for myself. That’s why I’m so much happier every time I walk away from a situation where deplorables are involved. Mystery solved!
I love my new word. It’s so useful! There are so many situations I can look back on from my 15 years of living here where the terms “deplorable” perfectly describes the behavior of others. Starbucks? So embarrassingly deplorable. Especially embarrassing because it’s supposed to be a “safe space” for liberals. Bloody Mary’s? Deplorable AF. Cleo’s? Literally deplorable since there are so many Trump supporters there. Oh yeah, wait, I didn’t even think of that before as being a real factor. Wow! That totally makes sense! No wonder they adamantly defend men who sexually harass and assault women in public! Because they truly believe it’s okay for someone to just go out there and grab someone by the pussy! Shocker! Yes, in fact, that is the very reason we even know this word exists! The Trump Cult, aka the OG Basket of Deplorables. Very Deplorable! Very Deplorable indeed!
What else we got? Oh, so many. Trashy manager from the Titanic who blew the whole thing up? Deplorable. Trashy, verbally abusive owners of so many places I’ve worked? Deplorable. Frat boys who harassed me online over my column for YEARS? Deplorable. Crazy neighbors from my Downtown Loft? Deplorable. Mechanic shop people who robbed me when my car broke down in Montana? Deplorable. Most of the guys I’ve dated in my life? Also Deplorable. People who pretend to be my friend then have a crazy meltdown over some random thing and blow up the entire friendship instead of trying to communicate and fix it, then go around behind my back and trash me with all these other Deplorable people? Deplorable. My own mother? The Most Deplorable To Look At.
Hmm… I thought there were more for the list. I feel like I’m forgetting something. Clearly it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s not actively feeding the trauma. It just seems like… I keep stepping into these situations where I’m really just trying to exist, go to work, write, make friends, meet new people, whatever, and I keep getting bounced by these Deplorables. I need to solve this problem right now because obviously I need a job. As much as I would love to move, that’s just not an option right now, so everyone has to get over it, especially me.
So of course, now that we understand what Deplorable behavior looks like, let’s examine how I relate to this. Well, I’m not the type of person who goes out looking for drama, yet somehow, it always finds me. Starbucks is the best example. I showed up to work. I memorized all the recipes, I trained hard on my technique, I worked shifts in different stores, I covered for people constantly, I did the shitty tasks like taking out the trash and washing the dishes and sweeping the floors and cleaning the bathrooms, I tried to help others who hadn’t learned the drinks, I tried to get along with everyone, I tried to change the subject to get away from trash talking, all while trying to put a smile on my face after my dad died, and what did all of that get me? It got me targeted by my co-workers, retaliated against, and constructively terminated. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE DEPLORABLE.
It’s them. It’s not me. I did everything I was supposed to do. I did my job according to the assigned task list. Was that good enough? No. No it wasn’t. Apparently I have to now be best friends with everyone too. Oh, but how can someone be friends with people who are always talking shit about everyone else behind their backs instead of actually doing their jobs? They can’t. Why? Because we’re not Deplorable. And of course, the Deplorable behavior continued WELL after I quit my job with former co-workers of mine harassing me on the street when I’m out trying to take a walk andsaying really gross, messed up shit about me on the group chat. Who does that? Deplorables do that. That is literally the definition of Deplorable. This is not on me. I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t behave in a Deplorable way. I was just trying to show up and collect a fucking paycheck and all I got was more bullshit handed to me by Deplorable people. Fuck Starbucks. Read the news and you too will slowly discover just how deep their Deplorability really goes.
Okay, so what am I doing wrong to “deserve” this kind of treatment? Easy! I’m a liberal woman from a Big East Coast city who *dares* to live in a conservative shithole like South Dakota. That’s it! That’s all it takes! I’m cultured and educated and worldly and feminist! I dress up every day! I like to wear pretty clothes and shoes and makeup! I like to learn other languages and watch TV shows in said languages! I like to travel! I refuse to aplogizing for being awesome or shrink myself down to make men feel more comfortable! And apparently, nobody wants to hear about that! Oh no, these poor Deplorables! Everyone feel sorry for them! Start attacking Betsey instead because she said she likes to watch TV in Portuguese and nobody understands what that means so it must be a personal attack on them that I flexed my brain power! Wahhhhhh! Oh nooooo she’s gonna monologue about the TV show she just watched! It’s going to make all the Deplorables feel dumb and inadequate. Run awayyyyy!
Yeah, I don’t know. I literally don’t even interact with people anymore. I’m giving up. I don’t know what to say or do at this point. I’ve lived here 14-15ish years and I’ve made the following observations about the people who live here that consistently turn out to be true: they’re fake nice, cliquey AF, mean to everyone behind their backs, and if you don’t fit in perfectly with their little krewe, they will treat you like you are less than dirt. That’s just how it is. I’m not responsible for that mindset or behavior. I’m tired of being blamed for it. Like, no, this actually has nothing to do with me as a person. This is literally just how you behave. You’ll treat anybody off the street like that. It has nothing to do with me as an individual person. So, therefore, I’m not going to take your crazy Deplorable behavior seriously. Have a nice day!
What is the solution here? I have no idea. My solution is to continue avoiding all of the people I’ve met who I deem to be “Deplorable.” Focus on myself and only myself, no matter how much it upsets whatever random Deplorable person is passing by today. “It’s not about you!” they scream with pure rage. Au contraire, mon ami. You see, people like you come and go, but I’ll always be the only one here for me. There’s always going to be a new version of you. You’re just some random Deplorable person who feels the need to tear me down out of insecurity or jealously or whatever lower base emotion seeing someone like me triggers inside of you. You hate me so much now, but in one year, you’ll just be another faceless Deplorable in my own custom Basket of Deplorables I’ve collected over the years.
Meanwhile, I’ll still be stuck here with me, myself, and I. I’ll spend the rest of my life trapped in this body, trapped in this brain, trapped in this soul. I’m the only one I’ve got. That’s why I put myself ahead of all others. That’s why I focus on me and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. I will prioritize self-care, responsible financial habits, constructive career development, and building stability in life for the future. I will continue working through negative emotions, resolving trauma, and reconnecting those messy wires in my brain via healthy activities. I will achieve my goals, write my stories, and become the person I want to be: the very best version of me, Betsey Horton, Writer Extraordinaire.
And she finally got her shit together, left South Dakota behind FOREVER, and lived happily ever after.