TABLE OF CONTENTS

BLOG
  • BetseyHorton.com Blog (2016-2025) – Archive currently unavailable due to the fact that it is being made into a real book!
COLUMNS
  • The Volante (2010-2014) – The weekly column I wrote for my college newspaper. Topics include relationships, mental health, and the college lifestyle (aka partying).
FAN FICTION
  • FanFiction.Net Archive (2002-2010). Once upon a time, I wrote fanfiction. I am not ashamed to admit this. I had a following. I won awards. It made me the writer I am today. Please enjoy on behalf of socially awkward teenagers everywhere.
NOVELS
  • Absolut Paris (2007) – A novel about a teenage girl who runs away to Paris and has an affair with her French teacher. It only sounds like it was written by a seventeen-year-old girl because it was written by a seventeen-year-old girl.
SCRIPTS
  • Under Surveillance (2025) – Two Irishmen investigate Betsey after she starts making trouble at a local dive bar in Bangkok.
  • Levi’s Big Halftime Show (2024) – Betsey gets revenge on a married man who used her to get himself a divorce and didn’t even send a gift basket to thank her for the trouble.
  • High School Reunion (2017) – I couldn’t attend my High School Reunion, so I wrote a story about it instead. This post blew up! Pretty sure more people read this story than actually attended the reunion, lol.
  • The Island of Lost Guys (2016-2020) – What would happen if all of my exes were trapped on an island together? Click here to find out!
    • Episode 1 – Betsey decides to buy an island for her “ex-boyfriends.”
    • Episode 2 – Betsey returns to the island to discover an unpleasant surprise.
  • Spy Movie (2005) – A short script I wrote for a high school theatre class. A parody of a James Bond film, starring women, of course.
SHORT STORIES
  • Bloody Mary’s Bar (2016-2018) – A series of satirical short stories and scripts inspired by a bar in South Dakota that I used to frequent in my 20’s. I am now banned for life from it because I wrote these stories. It’s actually kind of funny when you think about it. Alas. Some people have no sense of humor.
  • Travel Tales (2016-2017) – Stories about the various strange characters I encountered while traveling through the Southwest.
  • FictionPress Archive (2006-2008) – Short stories I wrote in high school. I guess it’s interesting enough for people to click on, so here it is!
YOGA
  • Official Yoga Alliance Profile (2024) – I am a registered yoga teacher now! I studied in both India and Bali. I have 400 hours of study in multiple styles and 131 hours of teaching experience so far. Hire me!