Friday?!

I am losing days left and right over here. What is even happening to me right now? I think it’s called “getting older.”

Yesterday I was not feeling well at all. I couldn’t even watch TV. I mostly slept all day long. I’ve been sleeping a lot more since I came to Asia. I was feeling guilty about it at first, but then I learned that my parasympathetic nervous system is in recovery after a long period of difficulty. I let it go. Sometimes I just need the extra sleep.

I resolved to make up for it today by getting all of my chores done. I started by taking out the trash and dropping off all of my towels and bedding at the Chinese laundry around the corner.

I am quite friendly with my laundry lady now. It’s kind of strange to me how freaked out I was about the idea of someone else doing my laundry. It used to be a very specific self-care ritual for me. Now I just send it off with a smile, knowing I can trust my stuff with this lady.

Now it’s just dishes and wiping down countertops and sweeping the floor and squeegee’ing out the bathroom. Gotta drop off more laundry tomorrow. Boring, boring, boring. How very tradwife of me, lol.

JK, of course. We all know I’m not the type who is going to be making homemade jams and jellies from scratch. I will only get married if household staff is part of the deal. I’ve seen things in Hong Kong I can’t unsee. The only way I’m marrying a man is if he comes with a multi-million dollar property and a housekeeper.

Put that shit in your pre-nup: I’m not doing any cleaning whatsoever.

Some cooking is okay. Pet care is definitely okay. You might just catch me out here wildin’, doing my own laundry on the housekeeper’s day off. Let her go play cards with her friends. I’ll make myself a giant salad and watch KUWTK all day.

Standards and expectations from men are very high these days. We can’t just settle for a 2.5 star rated date with some rando we met at the bar. We need to start taking the marriage market seriously. We need to be making Bridgerton levels of deals over here. Forget love; this is business!

What? Don’t look at me like that. These guys are out here saying shit like, “I believe women belong in the home.” Okay, well, I love staying at home and writing all day. Show me the home! I want a very nice home that I can decorate and renovate and occupy at all times. I definitely belong at home.

Soooo… Where is it? Where is my house?

Yeah, exactly, that’s what I thought. All words, no action, as per usual.

As I’ve said before, all of this “Big Strong Alpha Male” talk is just talk. It’s their usual male bullshit. Men are just full of it all the time. They can’t be trusted. They just say things and hurt people and use women and they don’t care about how it affects anyone else. So, whatever. I have simply chosen to rise to the occasion and just get up in their faces and be aggressive about it.

It is what it is.

The baristas just informed me that the crazy Aussie guy is back. They told him not to come back here again. They’ve told him this several times now. They told me is quite well-known to be a trouble -maker in Wan Chai. Yikes. We all know what that means!

So now I am on the lookout for him. I hope he doesn’t come back.

All the more motivation to finish up my chores. I need to go to the market as well. I’m out of bottled water. JFC, the amount of money I have spent on bottled water since I got to Asia is absurd. It’s a straight-up scam. I don’t understand why we can’t just have clean water?

I hate the Hong Kong water. It’s so harsh. I am not kidding when I say my skin is so messed up from the water here. I used to love taking long, hot showers and now it’s like torture for me. I have the worst eczema. I had to change from my beloved Bath & Body Works products to specialty local brands of soap and lotion. This lotion I am using is straight-up made for medical purposes.

This is why I’m mad about not being able to use the bathtub at the Mandarin Oriental. The hotel literally gives you a variety of special products to use in the bathtub that help ease skin irritation issues. Literally, the first thing I did when I got up to his room was look at the bath and go over all of the products that came with the bath. And then I don’t even get to use them?! Are you kidding me?! What is that?!

2.5 star review. I should just knock it down to 2. I feel like that .5 is being generous. That whole date really was a massive waste of my time. I feel like he just used me as a free sex worker and then just threw me away. That’s so not cool, bro. Like, what a waste of fucking time. Never again.

I think it annoys me extra because it is someone’s actual job to entertain him in this manner, yet he felt entitled to just take it from a random person for free. Not cool. And then he says I can’t write about him? Like, bro, that is my ACTUAL job. You don’t get to take that away from me. That’s literally the one thing I actually get out of this. You can choose which parts you want me to leave out, but you don’t get to opt out altogether. If you didn’t want to get involved, you shouldn’t have approached me at the bar and interrupted me while I was writing. That’s on you.

Yeah, I’m definitely over the whole one night stand thing. It was fun while it lasted, but I’m on a time crunch here. I gotta start taking this seriously. This is the last season of The Island of Lost Guys. It’s cancelled. No more.

Just Say No, Betsey. Boundaries. Men are like drugs. They’re fun in the moment, but the comedown is terrible and the withdrawal is even worse. Just Say No. Just Say No!

Speaking of Just Say No, my bartender friends want to fix me up with a guy tonight. I am so not into it. I don’t want to go. I want to stay home in my clean studio and watch Netflix and snuggle up in my freshly-laundered bedding without any men there to bother me.

Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. No men, no regrets.

And she lived happily ever after.

The End.