Monday, again.

Where did the last week go? I feel like I had a plan and then The Russian just swooped on in out of nowhere and derailed everything. Now I’m sitting here in a haze like… wow, what was that? Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing?

I have no answers for these questions.

I am trying to figure out how to go back to school, how to avoid going broke, and how to avoid becoming homeless. Again. Right.

Well, we all know he’s not going to help with anything, so, whatever.

In hindsight, it’s like… “So, wait a minute. I was just having a totally normal day, which I spent with my friend at the world famous Art Basel exhibition. I stopped by my corner bar on the way home. This man just appeared out of nowhere and tried to kidnap me out of said bar and carry me off to his hotel, where he planned to keep me for two days.

I subverted this plan, but went out on a proper date with him in spite of the long list of flaming red flags. We had the craziest chemistry I’ve ever experienced and it was all really intense.

Now he has gotten on a plane, disappeared into the void, and I haven’t heard from him since. Okay.”

Okay.

So that happened. Now he’s gone. It’s whatever. I think sometimes these guys forget that we are human and we have emotions and they just leave us to process whatever the fuck that even was like… okay.

What was I talking about before? Galway, was it? Ireland? My fantasy dream land where everything is magical and I’ll live in a castle and it will all be very grand? Right, yeah, that seems realistic.

I really am in a daze.

Look, I’m sorry, but that was actually crazy. That was some old school 18th century shit. We are not in some tiny little mountain village in Russia. You cannot just waltz in here in your big furry hat and survey the women in the room like, “I take bride tonight.”

Sir, this is a restaurant.

Like, no, you can’t just pick me up and carry me out of this bar like I’m your property. You can’t just take me straight back to your hotel and hold me hostage for two days to keep you entertained!

What is that? That is CRAZY!

I know you said you were traditional, but don’t you think you’re going just a little too far?

What is that quote from Girls Trip? “What kind of freaky old school shit is this?”

Like, just zero comprehension that I am a real person who lives here every day and has very normal things to do like pick up her laundry from the corner shop and go grocery shopping and take out the trash.

I think that was actually crazy. And then after all that, he still doesn’t let me use the gigantic bathtub while he takes a nap? That’s absurd!

This is not normal. Things like this don’t happen to normal people. I look around me every day and all I see are serious, career-driven people who have relatively normal lives. Meanwhile I’m over here making some pathetic attempt to write an article about Art Basel and I get carried off by some crazy Russian instead.

Sigh.

What is that?

All of that and no one reads it anyway. Ugh.

What am I doing with my life?

I have no idea. I’m very lost. But at least I live in Hong Kong. It is pretty awesome here. I do like it a lot. I was checking out graduate programs here, but I’m too late for most of them and it’s expensive AF. Everything is expensive.

Also I still have no recommenders for my applications. I am not a popular person! Therapy and yoga did not help with that! Not blogging didn’t help with that. Going off social media for years didn’t help with that. Nothing helps with that.

So let’s see. We can’t get a job, we can’t find an agent/editor/publisher for my books, we can’t go to school, and we can’t keep a man around long enough for anything more than a few blog posts. My self-esteem is definitely sky-high right now.

Oh, but we can get kidnapped by random Russian guys and then dumped off on the side of the road two days later when they’re finished torturing me. Grand.

Haha.

I’m actually not feeling good right now. I think I’m just going to go home and go back to sleep.