Saturday. Rainy day in Hong Kong.

I spent the morning sitting at my favourite coffee shop, watching people as they walked past and taking note of the umbrellas they carry. The umbrella in Hong Kong is a big deal. It’s people’s way of expressing their individual personality. It’s one of the little details I like to observe.

The baristas at the coffee shop were happy to see me back. They even gave me a free coffee as a Lai See (Chinese New Year red envelope gift). The other day I sat and chatted with one of them. She was pretty cool. She is definitely not what you call “traditional” in any sense of the word, especially for a Hong Konger. It was so interesting to hear her story of how she came to work at the cafe. We had a good talk.

That’s just how I roll, I guess. Always making new friends wherever I go. Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe I used to be so introverted and afraid to talk to strangers. Now I can sit down with anyone at any time and just start chatting away.

Went to the Chinese New Year Happy Hour party at the horse track on Wednesday. It was really fun! I love horses and equestrian sports. My HongKonger friend was being kind of annoying, though. He kept bitching about it being “too touristy.” It made me realize how not fun he actually is.

It was like when I went to Macau with that random Indian chick and all she did the entire time was complain. I’m just over it. Why suggest doing activities if all you’re going to do is be negative about the entire thing?

I don’t think I want to hang out with him anymore, to be honest. He’s starting to show himself in a way that I don’t particularly care for. He told me at the beginning that he was Christian, but I’m open-minded so I wasn’t going to hold it against him. It’s one of those things like… okay, cool, you go to church, awesome. That’s not a big deal. Having religious beliefs is totally cool!

HOWEVER…

I think you already know what’s coming.

He makes a lot of weird comments about LGBTQIA+ people that make me feel icky. He also says racist shit all the time and defends it by saying people are racist towards him so it’s okay. He calls Irish people “Leprechauns,” which I have repeatedly told him not to do because it’s disrespectful and offensive. It doesn’t stop there, of course. He just goes on and on and on sometimes.

I just keep thinking to myself, “I left South Dakota so that I wouldn’t have to spend time around people like this anymore. Why am I sitting across the table listening to this person rant about trans people? Does he even know any trans people? Because I do and I’m not trying to listen to this shit anymore.”

Yeah, so, we haven’t talked since that night, but I’m fine with it. I just don’t think we can be friends anymore if this is how he thinks about the world. I can’t fix that or change that. I’d rather just… not be around people like that anymore.

Nothing much to report otherwise. Pretty boring. It was easy to settle back into my old routine. I like the layout of this apartment better than the other one. It works better for me. I Unpacked and went grocery shopping. Watched a lot of TV. Rested. Haven’t been out to check in with my usual spots yet. Just chillin, for now. Processing everything that has happened so far this year.

How’s the planning going? Meh. I contacted a couple places asking about volunteer opportunities but received no response. I never get a response anymore. It all just goes into the void. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. The job market is just a black hole now. I’ve re-done my CV 80,000 times. I apply for jobs and hear nothing. I apply for volunteer opps and hear nothing. I go out and meet new people all the time. I attend events. I keep a blog. I made a portfolio. I sent my stuff to that reporter and never heard back. I wrote another book and threw it in the trash. I followed all the advice I was given and nothing has come back.

So, yeah, it just sucks out there right now. There’s no point in giving myself anxiety over it anymore. Clearly the plan is just to fire everyone and destroy everything and replace it all with AI without any concern for the people left behind. I can’t do anything about that. So why bother?

Whatever is meant to be will be. I am not stressing over it. In Bangkok they would always say to me, “You need to find a man who will take care of you.” Hahahahaha! Yeah right. What a joke! There’s no man out there who is going to take care of me! Are you kidding? Most of them are just liars, cheaters, and whores. They can’t even be honest about being married to someone else. It’s legitimately sociopathic.

So, yeah, not likely, bro. A man is not a plan, fam. It’s just not.

Yeh, so, I don’t really know what the solution is other than to keep moving forward. For now, I’m perfectly content to make myself a cup of tea, put on Netflix, and watch the rain fall outside…