Monday again. Here we are, still in Bangkok. I decided to max out my 30 days after all. Why not?

I admit it: It’s the magical cloud bed that really does it for me. I need to find out what kind of mattresses they use.

Had to take some time to prioritize today. I woke up very early so I did some yoga, meditation, and journaling. I had some very difficult decisions to make. The only way to do it was to sit down and do it.

Unfortunately, I have made the decision to kill my darling of the year, which is Hong Kong. I love it so much, but it’s expensive AF and it’s draining me. Bangkok, as much as I love it, is also a drain and realistically not a healthy long-term option for me.

So then I had to look at time, money, and future goals. Figure out what boxes I’ve checked on my bucket list of life and which ones I haven’t. Figure out what goal is most important to me right now and pursue that. Be serious. Be real. Stop running around like a wild farang with all the riff raff and get my shit together.

For me, it’s really coming down to one factor: Achievement. I feel like I am underachieving and underperforming in life. I just want to step up my game. Take it to the next level. Actually do something meaningful and useful with my time other than writing about random dive bars to pass the time.

This is why I chose Hong Kong. I wanted it to take me to the next level. Unfortunately, the next level is prohibitively expensive and requires a Masters Degree to be even remotely competitive on the job market. So, it is not working, and I know it’s not working, but it’s hard to cut the loss and walk away since it was such a massive investment.

So let’s say I do walk away. What next? Well, there’s still about a million places I want to travel to. I definitely want to go back to school and get my Masters Degree. Seriously considering going back to India for the 300hr Yoga Teacher Training course just so I can have the Achievement of the RYT-500 Certification under my belt. Maybe just go beach bum it up in Vietnam for a bit. Then go back to the US (where I am literally homeless), hit refresh somehow (crashing on my brother’s couch), and then apply for graduate school abroad?

Hmm… where should I go to school? I wanted to go to France forever, but now I am seriously considering Ireland instead. I’ve already studied in France. Why not go research my family heritage and bang lots of hot rugby players enjoy the various cultural offerings of the Emerald Isle?

I’ve seen something I like and now I’m obsessed with it. So obsessed I spent a whole hour yesterday researching the cultural significance of the harp in Ireland. So enlightening!

Lots of options to consider. Ditch the men, ditch the money pit, ditch the person I used to be and reach for the person I want to become!

All that inspirational bullshit.

For now, I remain in Bangkok. Doing what I don’t know. Sitting on the rooftop, staring out into the abyss, trying to figure out who I am and what I’m doing with my life…

Clearly I have too much free time on my hands…