Friday. Here we are, at the coffee shop. As per usual. This is literally what I do every day I am here.
Last night there was nothing interesting going on at the American Bar. I said, “I hope something interesting happens tonight.” And it did! So that was pretty exciting. Love it when I get my wish!
The bartender (who will sell out any farang down the river) told me that the Hot Beef Stew does not come to this bar very often, but that he was here last week. Hmm. Interesting.
She also said she still sees the British Guy sometimes. I guess it didn’t work out between him and his island girl. Apparently he comes in to cry to hear every once in awhile. Good. I hope he ends up alone because he is a total jerk.
Meanwhile, in real life… what am I doing? I have no idea!
Showing off my intrepid reporting skills by finally unmasking the true identity of this very fit and skilled sporty beefcake? Mystery solved! He was a hot, sexy beefcake all along! Just as I suspected!
These last three months, I’ve been asking myself, “What was I thinking?” Then I saw the pictures of him playing sports and I was like… yeah, I know exactly what I was thinking. It’s not that deep, lol.
What I am not thinking about is reality…
I thought about it for most of the week. My search is still coming up with dead ends. I just want to take a break and get my nails done. Take a nap. Relax a bit now that I’ve solved the world’s greatest mystery. This is bigger than the Loch Ness Monster!
I truly am relieved now that I know who he is. It feels like I don’t have to worry about it anymore now that I know. I didn’t like not knowing. I didn’t think that was fair.
I saw his name. His name helped me a lot. I was like, “Ohhhhh… That explains why he was so fancy.” I knew I recognized his mannerisms from somewhere, but I could not quite place them. I can’t say exactly where for certain, but I can say I am quite familiar with the general regional culture and customs. Once I understood exactly what I was looking at, everything about his behavior made sense.
He was also very judgy about my so-called ‘luxury high-rise loft.’ Like, sorry I don’t have a grand palatial estate with white marble fountains and vast acres of fragrant gardens to offer you for your oh-so-temporary stay on this beautiful island oasis. Guess you’ll have to use your imagination for that. I’m sure whatever you had in mind was much more luxurious than anything I could ever possibly conceive of.
Well, now we have an explanation for all of it. Everyone knows hot athletic guys are fuckboys. Mystery solved! If I was a man and I had that body, I would definitely remove my shirt as often as possible for as many ladies as possible. Rock. Solid. Well done. Well done, indeed. Thank you for that. You’ve given me hope that my dream of becoming a WAG who does brunches and Pilates is still possible, LOL!
Keep the dream alive, fam.
Something, something, real life… Uhh… right. Let’s focus on that a bit more, shall we? Yes, please. Real life and more real life and then even more real life. Okay. Right. Got it.
Real life.
Focus.