BLOG: Beach vs Box vs Bar

FRIDAY

Currently sitting at a lovely beachside cafe on Lamma Island. I just needed a break from everything today. I had planned a whole day today, but instead I decided to come here. Really gotta gear up for my big job hunt. What better way to start than with a glass of rosé, a little plate of hummus, and a bit of yoga on the beach?

Yeah, why even live in Hong Kong is I’m not going to take advantage of the fact that I can literally go to the beach whenever I want? It is what it is. The only problem is that the ferry was rocking so much that I still feel like I’m on it even though I am definitely not.

Really not a big fan of boats! That being said, I would still go to a yacht party if I was invited. But only if it’s an elite, exclusive event with a guest list and a fabulous dress code, not some drug-fueled rave party on a junk boat full of randos from Facebook. Not for me!

I am definitely feeling slightly on-edge today. I do feel that I have regained my confidence and power, but taking on this job hunt still feels overwhelming.

—

SUNDAY

Back in my little shoebox apartment that I have come to love, in spite of my crazy neighbor. I’ve been awake since 6am, so I decided to have a coffee and be productive. I’m surprised said neighbor did not come barging in at 6:30am and pick a fight with me. I guess I showed him who’s the boss here, huh? LOL!

Yeah, he’s been pretty quiet since I yelled at him through the wall, saw him fighting (???) with some guy outside 7/11, wrote him an apology note, then brought that rando home from Peel Street last week. That would be “Custom-Made Shirt Guy,” btw.

Still wearing his sweatpants, btw. It’s called a Power Move. This is how you assert your dominance, fam. I’m not putting up with any more bullshit from this overgrown manbaby and his bad bleach job. Over it.

Anyway… how did the rest of my day go on Lamma? Honestly, it was stressful AF. I went to the beach, but I just couldn’t relax no matter what I tried. I did yoga, I meditated, I went for a night swim, nothing worked. I made a little video describing how I don’t know how to have fun.

By the end of the day, I was drained and exhausted. It was the complete opposite of what I had hoped to achieve. I just came home, showered, made myself look all pretty, and went up to the Secret Society for exactly one hour before they closed. Everyone was there, but I had no desire/ability to socialize at all. They kept inviting me to join the group, but I just couldn’t do it. I had no energy left whatsoever.

My Irish friend came over to me to check in. He said he could tell something was wrong. I mean, he knows what’s wrong. Everyone knows what my situation is right now. I just said, “I know, I know, I know, I shouldn’t be sitting here alone wallowing in it and feeling sorry for myself. But right now… it’s the only thing I can do. I just need to sit here and feel my feelings.”

He nodded understandingly and said, “I’ve been there too. Don’t worry, you’ll feel better in the morning. You can do this. We all know you can do this.”

Right. Got it.

Spent all day yesterday at home in bed reading, napping, watching movies, and drinking tea. Now that’s my idea of a good time! Call me boring if you want, but I felt so much better than I had at any point on Friday when I was out and about on Lamma. It is what it is.

I did go out on Wednesday and Thursday nights to visit my friends in various other places. On Wednesday I chatted with this Aussie sailor I met last Saturday night who tells the most insane stories I’ve ever heard. Gotta love Ye Olde Sailor’s Tales.

On Thursday, I met an American at the Cantina and two French guys at the Corner Bar. I meet some really chill French people here. It’s easy to switch between French and English when chatting with them. They are not as uptight as French people in France, lol.

At first, I wasn’t really engaging with them. I was just sitting there alone with my notebook, observing the foot traffic at this particularly notable intersection. I was half-listening to their conversation in French. Apparently they noticed I was eavesdropping on them, because they approached me and asked me if that’s what I was doing. Oui oui, bien sûr! Caught in the act!

What can I say? Eavesdropping and people-watching are two of my favourite hobbies. It is what it is.

Good chat, good craic. I am making some very good connections lately. What can I say? I’m learning from the best. That’s why I joined the Secret Society in spite of its inherent weirdness. One of my new (young) friends up there and I like to joke about how we joined a cult. Is it? I don’t know! It might be, lol! I guess we’ll find out, haha.

The weirdness is definitely still there. Another one of these guys has started making weird sexual comments towards me and I’m just like… no. I’m not here for this. I appreciate the stories you tell and the very helpful financial advice you’ve given me recently, but it stops there. This does not go any further than that, okay? Okay. Please do not make me tell you to fuck off because I respect you more than that. Please have some respect for me in return. Thank you!

Furthermore, you are not free to put your hands on me just because of what I’m wearing. I’m not wearing backless halter tops because I want to look sexy and alluring. I’m a Scorpio. I’m going to give that vibe no matter what I wear.

I’m wearing tops like this because the water here is so terrible that the skin on my back has broken out and gets irritated when I wear certain tops in extremely hot weather. You can literally see it all over my back, or at least you would if you were looking at me like an equal human being instead of a sexual object.

This is the direct result of the combination of hard water and synthetic, plastic-based fabrics. Turns out that’s actually really bad for your skin! Science, bro. Do you speak it? Didn’t think so.

Men! So annoying. Ugh!

Can’t wait for the day when I can afford my own custom-made clothes. Natural, breathable fabrics, here I come! Adding my very own on-call bespoke tailor to my vision board now. Ready to manifest this item ASAP.

It won’t change the fact that men feel free to do whatever they want, but at least I’ll look good. Priorities. I know this because I fished a really cute, modest dress with all the right coverage out of a bin at a discount shop around the corner the other day and immediately picked up a guy the first time I wore it out. It is what it is!

/End Rant

That was draining just to write about. Ugh. Boundaries, Betsey. Next time just be clear about your boundaries without getting angry or upset. No touching unless given expressed permission. It’s not that hard! I know, it’s hard for them because they’re men, but I have to be the one to say, “Don’t do that. I don’t like it. I don’t care what your intention is. I did not give you permission. Please respect my boundaries.”

I’ll just keep saying it over and over until they get it. Will they ever get it? Probably not. But I’ll just wait them out until it clicks for them that when it comes to me personally, that shit does not fly.

My only other complaint is that they have all stopped calling me Liz and now only refer to me as Betsey. This annoys me greatly. I have specifically stated multiple times that I do not want to use my professional name when I’m there. But now, they are all insisting on calling me my professional name because they think I’m trying to hide my real identity. I guess they think I need to be puffed up professionally and that’s why they’re insisting on using my Nom de Plume instead? I don’t know. Either way, it’s actually really annoying. They are both derivatives of the same name, which is my Legal Name On Paper. Why does it matter so much?

It’s just another thing…

In the end, there’s only so much in this world I can control. As they say, pick your battles. Right now, I’m choosing the “Don’t touch me without my permission” battle. That is a real issue for me as someone who was assaulted multiple times in the past. I will die on this hill. I have zero problem with that. It’s not about me. It’s about a larger problem in society that needs to be addressed.

The last time I told someone not to touch me, one of the bartenders felt the need to intervene and show that she’s perfectly okay with being touched however any man wants to touch her. I just said, “Okay, but that’s her choice and her preference. She and I are not the same. It’s my choice and my preference not to be touched like that. So don’t touch me like that!”

They’re still trying to win this argument. They’re not going to with me. I’m just going to continue asserting my boundaries until they understand the word “No.”

Ugh, I’m just over it.

Uh oh, I think my neighbor just got home. It’s about 9am, lol. Wonder where he’s been all night? Don’t really care, to be honest! Just don’t take out whatever anger and frustration you may have collected over the course of the evening on me. Please and thank you!

Off now. I need to continue strategizing for the week. I have things to do. Things that don’t include giving the loser next door any more of my time or attention.

Onto the job hunt…

BLOG: Fury of the Dragon

Saturday.

Currently at a new place in my neighborhood. Shocking, I know. One of the servers from my regular brunch spot moved over here because it’s part of the same restaurant group, so I came to visit her.

We are planning to meet next week so I can interview her about her life growing up in Nepal and how she came to Hong Kong. I am very excited to sit down with her for this interview! She is actually the one who initially approached me about it, but she has been too busy with work to meet. I think she approached me a few days after that horrible flood and landslide that made international headlines. Something in the universe told her she should share her story. I am honored she chose me to help her tell it.

I’ve never done a proper sit-down interview like this before, so I will have to take some time to prepare. Pretty sure I can do it, no problem. I have studied many of the greats who came before me. Also, I do this all the time with random people on a very informal level. No problemo!

What news do I have from this week? Oh, you mean aside from the fact that I managed to make a total and complete ass out of myself at the Secret Society on Wednesday night after taking too many shots at the birthday party and had to go on an apology tour?

It’s fine. They didn’t immediately ban me for life because of one shitty thing I said, unlike CERTAIN people who shall not be named. *cough hack* ANDREW *cough hack*

The first two people I apologized to were pretty cool with it. It’s the lady friend of Mr. Bathroom who is holding the grudge. Oh, right, like she didn’t already hate me before and was just looking for an excuse to really hate me. I’m sure it will be fine. She’s pretty low on my priority list, so as long as we can smile and be polite to each other when in the same room, I don’t really give a fuck if she hates me or not.

——

Okay, here we are now at the Secret Society. Horse Guy is here. Too busy watching his races, as per usual. I really don’t give a fuck. I have exactly two things on my agenda right now: write this stupid fucking story about my stupid neighbor and apologize to this lady because she got offended by a comment that probably wasn’t directed at her.

Well, I already told one of these stories, so clearly now I have to tell the other story.

Ugh. My neighbor. Ugh.

As previously established, this guy is definitely crazier than I am. Once again, he proved it to me last night, or should I say this morning.

So allow me to preface this by saying I have not had the best two weeks. All week long, I have been doing everything in my power to be as productive as possible without having a total fucking meltdown.

I admit I have not been as successful with this goal as I hoped. I definitely had multiple meltdowns this week. The whole Cornell 7 case definitely triggered a full-blown angry meltdown that was far beyond my control. These things happen. I’m working on it! Yoga, meditation, quality social time, Netflix, reading, working on grad school and job applications, the usual.

So after Wednesday, I told myself I was going to be a good girl and isolate myself at home until I could come back to my center and behave myself properly in public again. I gave myself a week. Well… that didn’t work out. I deeply regret not going out last night because I had multiple messages from friends asking for me and I chose to isolate at home instead. Right, because I came all the way to Hong Kong to do that, right?

Right.

Didn’t drink at all, watched some TV, ate some noodles, drank some tea, went to bed early. Boring!

Fast forward to 6:30am.

Here comes my shitass fucking neighbor coming home from wherever the fuck he was, in whatever state of mind he was, choosing to be loud enough to wake me up from whatever nightmare I was having. fine. I heard him banging around on the other side of the wall, so I decided to calm myself down by heading up to the rooftop to have a cigarette.

Just as I was finishing up, here he comes with his stupid fucking Eminem hair out onto the rooftop. As soon as he saw me, he loudly exclaimed “Are you fucking shitting me?!” You know, as if he had not been the one rude enough to wake me from my unpleasant slumber. Okay, that’s my cue to go back inside and leave him alone to have whatever fucking meltdown he’s having.

Does he step off to the side of the garden to give me enough personal space to pass by without direct engagement? No. Of course not. Instead, he chose to sit right in the fucking doorway like the gatekeeping little troll he is and directly block my way back down the stairs. As I was turning the corner, I heard him muttering some weird passive-aggressive shit to himself.

Having seen him in this state of mind before, I chose not to engage him. Instead, I had to step over his fucking gigantic leg because he was manspreading wide enough to block the entire doorway, all while making a big show out of deeply sighing with annoyance and glaring down angrily at his phone. I said nothing and walked down the stairs. He continued muttering passive-aggressively to himself, at just a low enough volume so that I could not hear whatever insults he was lobbing my way. So annoying.

What is this, South Dakota?

I chose to ignore him and go back to sleep. Unfortunately for him, I had YET ANOTHER nightmare during my second sleep (because I literally have nightmares about my old life every single night), which triggered me so badly that I immediately had an epic meltdown as soon as I woke up.

Believe me when I say, I had a full-blown screaming meltdown at him straight through that stupid fucking wall. I didn’t even waste time with the little spoon, you know what I’m saying? I have had it up to here with this overgrown manbaby and his self-pitying spoiled rich boy shit. I went straight for the extra large wooden spoon and gave him the verbal spanking he so desperately needs. I got MEAN, and when I say MEAN, it really was… MEAN.

I literally said, “Do you know how lucky you are to even be featured as a character in my writing right now? You wouldn’t even be on my radar if we weren’t sharing a fucking wall! You’re not even a real actor, okay? What do you even do? Your granddaddy was someone important, your daddy was someone important, and meanwhile you’re over here ‘cruising the mom’s groups on Facebook.’ Seriously?! GROW. THE. FUCK. UP!”

I will not repeat the rest of what I said here. Just know it was not nice. I am so over this shit. The last thing I need in my life is to come home to some random fucking man who adds to fucking stress levels instead of finding a way to alleviate them.

I need someone who will lower my cortisol levels, not increase them. I need someone who sees that I’m Hulking out and says, “Hey, babe, have you eaten anything today? Should we take a walk? Maybe watch a movie? We could just fuck that anger out of your system instead! Works every time!”

But no. I get stuck with these miserable assholes instead. Ridiculous.

I truly mean this when I say I feel genuinely bad for whatever poor, unfortunate soul he may or may not be sticking his dick in right now. She has no idea what a fucking nightmare he actually is. Guess now we know why he’s where he is in life. This man isn’t lonely enough!

But hey, bro, according to what I’ve heard, you’ve been talking about moving to Lamma Island forever, so maybe this ongoing conflict between us (that you started, by the way) will inspire you to finally get off your lazy fucking ass and do it. Good fucking riddance to you.

I don’t need this shit in my life. I have real problems I’m dealing with right now. I don’t need this guy and his ridiculously stupid hair adding to it further.

I’m getting stressed out right now just writing about it. So triggering. Even my friend expressed concern when I recounted this story to her. Like, I literally don’t need this shit.

SO OVER IT.

Not enough men in this world fear me. I need more of that Secret Society speciality Kool-Aid with an extra shot of Power. Give it to me. I am ready to crush the hearts and minds of men under my bigass dragon feet.

UGH!

Anyway, I need to take a break from my screen now. I just want to sit in the A/C in silence and fucking watch people.

Over it. So over it.

The End.

BLOG: Found the Book, Lost the Plot

Monday.

Here we are, back at the Secret Society, as per usual. There is no one here at the moment. Just me and the bartender. Perfect. Now I can write something.

Yesterday was… strange, but it ended relatively well. My Horse Guy was too busy watching “footy” and horse races with his friend to give me any attention. Typical.

They stayed here all day long. At a certain point it started to feel like we were playing chicken and just waiting each other out. In the end, he left without making a move, which was disappointing. Instead his friend walked up to me when I was having a chat with someone else and said, “I’m watching you.”

Yeah, who isn’t, right?

I just laughed at him and said, “Well, I hope you enjoy the show!”

He just gave me a weird look and left. Whatever.

Yeah, I know how it looks for me to be sitting in here chatting with all of these old guys. But you also have to remember that I’m a writer and I consider what I’m doing to be work. Engaging in flirtatious banter with these old bankers doesn’t make me a sex worker. I don’t just go home with anyone. I choose who I go home with. I chose your friend, aka the Horse Guy, for a reason. Maybe you should trust that reason instead of making assumptions about me.

Jerk.

Anyway, fuck these guys. I don’t need this shit in my life. I deserve to be with someone who doesn’t fuck me one time and then ignore me the next time we’re in the same room together.

MEN!

UGH!

Otherwise, the day was pretty boring. It got interesting when my “Uncle” showed up. We were just having a chat like we usually do, but then he got handsy with me in front of Horse Guy. I realized how it looked, so I told him to stop. He got weird about it and we had an argument over it.

Obviously, I didn’t want to just come out and say, “Hey, the guy I just fucked two weeks ago is sitting right over there. I’m concerned he’s going to think of me differently if he sees me allowing any old random man off the street to put their hands all over me.” But we all know that’s why it was upsetting me.

I could literally see the wheels turning in Horse Guy’s head as he was watching this exchange. It did not make me feel good to see him looking at me that way.

Of course, being very English, my Uncle decided to make his argument the hill he dies on. He just wouldn’t let it go. He kept insisting he wasn’t getting touchy-feely with me because he had bad intentions. Like, yes, I get it, but I’m still sitting here telling you I personally feel uncomfortable right now and I want you to stop. So just fucking stop!

Finally, the bartender intervened and separated us because we were causing a disruption. My Uncle went off to the bathroom. When he came back, he had a strange look on his face. He apologized to me, so I invited him to sit back down in the seat next to me. We just sat there together in silence until he finished his drink and left.

Luckily, right at that moment, the Scottish writer I was tracking down appeared. He walked over to me and said, “Hey, I brought you a gift. Come sit down with me at my table over there.”

I got up and went to his table to chat with him. He pulled out a copy of his book and handed it to me. He signed it for me and wished me well on my writing journey. He left shortly after and I sat back down at the bar with said book. It’s really good, actually. It made me feel seen and heard in a way I haven’t felt in a very long time.

This was when Horse Guy’s friend walked by me and said he was watching me. Yeah, so awkward, right? Jesus tap dancing Christ.

Ridiculous.

At this point, I just packed up and left because I was over it. I walked down to the Cantina to visit my friends. They were making me feel guilty for not visiting them recently. They think I ditched them for the Secret Society, which is not true. I pulled out the book the writer gave me and explained that I’ve been on a specific mission to acquire it. Then I promised to come in to visit them later on this week.

I left so they could close down, then stopped by the Corner Bar on Peel Street so I could hide in the shadows and just take a moment alone to recover from whatever the fuck that entire day was. I wasn’t ready to run home to my neighbor’s sweatpants at all. In fact, I realized I was actually dreading it.

Also, I was pissed off about the way Horse Guy acted. I was specifically hoping that would work out so I wouldn’t have to go back to that goddamn apartment and share that fucking wall with my neighbor anymore.

Nope! No boyfriend for me! Instead I get to go home and share a paper-thin wall with this ridiculously hot sexy beefcake who I don’t even get to fuck! It is actually starting to drive me insane. Even right now I can feel myself longing to scratch the itch, but I can’t. It’s like… I literally can’t do this anymore. ALL I can think about is fucking this guy’s brains out. Meanwhile, he’s sitting on the other side of the wall thinking to himself, “This bitch is fucking C R A Z Y. Maybe I should get up off my lazy ass and move to Lamma Island after all.”

Yeah, go, please. I can’t do this anymore. I had a whole meltdown over it this morning. That, and many other things, all coming together in one moment to push me right over the fucking edge. It was so bad. I completely lost my shit. Even my other neighbor approached me on the rooftop later like, “You good, girl?”

No. No, I’m not good. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep doing this alone. I just want a boyfriend who will fuck me every day and take me out on fun dates! Why is that so hard to find?!?! I’m so over it!

Okay, I’m starting to get stressed out from writing this post. I’m going to have a cigarette. Oh my god, I would give ANYTHING to smoke a big fat joint right now. It’s the only thing that keeps me sane in this ridiculous world, I swear.

Farewell.

BLOG: Rich Man, Poor Man

Sunday.

Here I am at the brunch spot. This weekend was definitely eventful. Never a dull moment here in my Home Kong, especially for me.

On Friday evening, I went out to the Secret Society, as per usual. It was PACKED with Irishmen celebrating a birthday party. I didn’t know any of them. I just thought to myself, “This is the most Irish people I’ve ever been around in my entire life.” Wild.

The evening unfolded as it usually does. I hung out with the regulars and chatted with some new people. I ended up so drunk that I lost my wallet, which created a HUGE problem for me. It’s all taken care of now, thankfully. Well, almost…

Definitely gotta make that whole job thing a priority now, haha!

As you can probably guess, Saturday was a journey for me. I called the Secret Society first to make sure they did not have said wallet, which they obviously did not. Luckily, they know me pretty well now, so they gave me very specific and clear instructions on what to do. I had to go to the police station and file a report, cancel my cards, and get in contact with my family (which I was NOT looking forward to).

I also had to talk myself down from a full-blown panic attack, which always sucks. My anxiety spirals are truly insane sometimes. As we all know, I am *clearly* one lost wallet away from becoming a crackwhore on the streets. Clearly!

I got everything sorted out, then went up to the Secret Society to check in with them again. I felt very grateful to have them there. I felt so weird about joining that club at first, but now I am happy to be part of it. They were happy to see me when I returned from my trip and they were there for me at a low moment. It’s good to be well-connected in Hong Kong Society.

Luckily for me, my bad day took a turn for the better when I walked in. The Aussie Horse Guy I met a few weeks back was in there again. He looked happy to see me, which was surprising given the fact that he never called/texted me. I called him out on it. He gave me some half-assed excuse about it. Whatever.

We chatted for a bit, then his “mentee” arrived and pulled up a stool right between us. They were watching the Aussie football game. No idea what this sport is, don’t really care. All I know is that it’s a bunch of hot, fit lads running around in shorts. Grand. That’s good enough for me!

I left them to it and chatted with some randoms. I mentioned my neighbor again, much to the bartender’s dismay. She came over to me and said, “You need to stop. You are OBSESSED! Just forget him, okay? You are giving him too much power and energy by thinking about him all the time. I guarantee he’s not thinking about you. He doesn’t care about you. He never did. Just let it go.”

Thank god this lady was here to slap some New York sense back into me. I needed it. I admitted that she was right. At this, my Aussie perked up with interest again.

“What is this story?” He asked.

“Oh, it’s just my neighbor. It’s a whole thing.”

“What, like In the Mood for Love?”

“More like I actively fantasize about punching him in the face on a daily basis. He pissed me off.”

He laughed at me. “How did this happen?”

“Well, I was totally ignoring him for the few months I lived there. Apparently he wasn’t ignoring me. In fact, he made it clear he could hear everything I was saying and doing through the wall. Then he approached me on the roof and started giving me unsolicited advice based off his judgments. I didn’t like it very much. Now he’s disappeared on me.”

He and the bartender exchanged looks with each other.

“I see,” he said. “So he had his ear to wall and was listening to you while jerking himself off.”

I finally cracked a smile, while the bartender just rolled her eyes and walked away.

“Well… when you put it like that… I guess so!”

To this man’s credit, he saw the opening there and took it.

“You deserve better than that. You need a real man who can take care of you. Do you want me to take care of you?”

Hahahaha, I’ve heard this line before! See what I meant about how there’s always another man ready to take the previous man’s place!

I decided to take him up on his offer this time and go back to his luxury apartment with him. Why? Just because I can. He paid my tab, bought me a bottle of rosé from the market next door, and hailed us a taxi. Off we went so I could play House Hunters International in Hong Kong.

And wow, this place was NICE! Three bedrooms, two bathrooms (one with a gigantic bathtub), a balcony, a huge kitchen, and a very spacious living room. Lovely elevator to make out in, lol. We know how much I love to do that! It’s one of my favourite hobbies!

He also had a framed Wolf of Wall Street poster. It had a red background with a black wolf howling. It had the caption “I’ve been a rich man and I’ve been a poor man, and I choose rich every time.” That made me laugh so loud when I saw it, hahahaha! Ridiculous!

In the back of my mind, I was still wondering if he was secretly married, even though he told me he’s not. Let’s just say it was very obvious that the only woman who spends time in that apartment on a regular basis is his maid, lol. It was definitely lacking a woman’s touch.

As you can imagine, we didn’t waste much time before getting down to business. Fun times, fun times! Very fun, actually. I would see him again! I hope I do… It would be nice to enjoy the perks of the Hong Kong Jockey Club life, lol.

I wanted to stay longer, but I had to go because of my scheduled phone call with my family at midnight. He said, “Don’t worry. It’s better when it’s a slow boil.” Okay!!!! He packed me up a bag of groceries to take with me and called me an Uber. Classy! Nice touch, nice touch. Way to show me you can provide!

As he walked me downstairs, he gave me these last parting words, “Hong Kong is a good place to be. I came here when I was young with nothing and built a whole life for myself. If you’re doing something they like, they will elevate you in whatever way they can. Do whatever you have to do to stay here.”

And that’s the story of how I wrangled myself an Aussie for my Island of Lost Guys. Love it. Way to turn a shitty day around! Amazing.

Love this for me. Whoever said women hit a wall at age 30 is clearly deluding themselves. I’ve pulled in more dick since I turned 35 than I ever have in my whole life. Amazing!

Obviously I don’t want to talk about my family stuff here. Ugh. Tiring. It went much better than I thought it would. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Today before I came over here to write, I went up to the rooftop to have a cigarette. I told my other neighbor about my evening with my Horse Guy. As we were walking back inside, we turned the corner and discovered Mr. Next Door sitting in the doorway on his phone. I was SO shocked to see him. It startled me more than usual, probably because I haven’t seen him in two months. I gave him the stink eye, walked past him, and continued loudly bragging about My Horse Guy as we descended the stairs. When we got back down to the hallway, she made a comment about how irritated and upset he looked, but I just shrugged and said, “I don’t give a fuck!”

When I got back inside, I checked Instagram and saw he had finally unblocked me. He also changed his profile picture. I just laughed when I saw it. As I’ve said before… call him ugly! It works!

Off now. Back to my apartment so I can clean up the mess I made tearing it apart while desperately searching for my wallet. Alas!

BLOG: And That’s How I Became A REAL Writer…

Friday.

It is 9/11 today. That means no internet for me today. Speaking as a person who grew up in the DC area, that day was horrible. I do not care to relive it. I do not care to listen to people spew out conspiracy theories about it. I especially do not care to re-watch any of the footage from that day. Horrible. Just horrible.

Moving on…

When did I last post? Wednesday? Hmmm… what has happened since then?

Wednesday night I went to the Cantina to visit a friend who just returned from several months abroad. I was so happy to see her. We chatted and caught up. I told her everything that had happened with my neighbor in the last few months. She just laughed at me and said, “You two fight the way old married couples do. You know that, right?”

My other friend started cackling. “I know, right?” she exclaimed. “That’s exactly what I said! We need to stage an intervention to get them back together so this movie has a happy ending.”

“Ha ha, very funny. How can you reunite us if we were never together? He’s made it clear he hates me and wants nothing to do with me. I’m just the freak who stole his sweatpants in a misguided attempt at revenge.”

My friend called me out immediately. “You’re so full of shit! You took them because you miss him.”

“There’s nothing going on! We had a few conversations in the roof, after which he randomly decided to start picking these weird, random fights with me. He just freaked out because he didn’t realize I was going to fight back, which is ridiculous because it’s clear to anyone with eyes that I have an anger problem.”

The two of them just laughed and laughed. We hung around for a bit longer, then my friends went their way and I went mine.

On my way home, I stumbled upon the infamous SoHo Queen. Naturally, she wanted me to join her for a drink. One drink turned into many. Before I knew it, I was frat house wasted. I have no idea how this lady does it. She could drink an Irish sailor under the table. It’s actually insane.

I told her I have to go to Macau next week. She wants to come with me. Like, I love her, but there is no way I can ever go to a Macanese casino with her. It’s going to turn into The Hangover sequel no one asked for.

Eventually I stumbled home, where I promptly passed out in my street clothes. Big no no here in Asia. You have your outside clothes and your inside clothes, just like you have your outside shoes and your inside shoes. That’s how drunk I was. I didn’t even bother to change into my neighbor’s sweatpants first.

Oh, speaking of my neighbor, I have a fun little story about him, but I’ll get to that later. Haha, it’s a good one.

Okay, back to my timeline.

I woke up several hours later a complete mess. I did not know what to do with myself. I swear to god, y’all. I’m holding it together with a single brain cell right now. I just reiterated to myself that I cannot go out drinking with the SoHo Queen and this is exactly why.

In spite of my hangover, I spent the next few hours working on my book. I managed to get something done. No idea how. There is definitely a reason why all of these famous authors went crazy and killed themselves. Locking yourself in a tiny room with your manuscript will drive you crazy after awhile.

Upon the realization that I was going to lose it if I stared at my fucking wall any longer, I decided to leave and take a walk. Naturally, my walk led me up to the Mid-Levels and straight into the Secret Society. I think I got there at like 4pm or something? Insane.

I told the bartender I was losing my shit and had to escape my apartment. We chatted for awhile. She asked me why I keep insisting everyone call me Liz instead of Betsey. I explained to her about my “Small Town Famous” past as a writer in South Dakota and what happened in Bangkok. I straight up said, “I was trying to hide my identity here because I’m afraid of going through that again. I really don’t like the attention as much as people think, especially because a lot of it is negative.”

She just shook her head at me. “I get it. I’m an artist too, but you can’t run away from it. You just have to be who you are. It’s okay. You’re in here for a reason. Remember that.”

That was the moment I suddenly remembered I had a question for her. I saw a picture of that writer I met up there a few weeks back on their instagram page, so I asked her if she knew who he was. She did, but she did not know his name either. I explained that he had given me a lot of writing advice but refused to tell me his name. He specifically said to me, “If you are a real writer, you’ll figure out who I am.”

Challenge Accepted!

We decided to make this my mission for the afternoon. She said, “There’s a guy who comes in here who always sits with him and reads his work. I think you’ve met him before, but I’ll make sure you’re introduced to him when he comes in later. Otherwise, just ask around when the regulars come in and see what you can find.”

I said, “I bet you any amount of money that (NAME REDACTED) and (NAME REDACTED) are going to know who he is. They know everyone here.”

She nodded and said, “You’re right. This is good. You’re learning.”

While we waited, we decided to ask AI if it could find him. We uploaded his picture to the AI and compiled a list of everything we knew about him. The AI gave us about 5 or 6 completely wrong answers before we completely gave up on it. AI is seriously the most useless shit I’ve ever encountered, and I have met a great deal of completely useless idiots in my life. What a waste of time!

While I waited around for our three most promising sources to arrive, I chatted with a few different people and made some new connections. Hashtag: Networking. I am getting much better about not sitting on my iPad when I am in there. As I said in my previous post, they expect me to socialize when I am there, not to sit in the corner and write. It’s hard for me because I am not naturally a socially gifted person, but I recognize the fact that it is a skill I can learn. So now I am learning!

When Source #1 showed up, I immediately asked him what he knew about our mysterious writer friend. He said he knew exactly who he was, but he also did not know his name! He asked around and we discovered very quickly that this man has apparently never told anyone in that room his name. Ridiculous.

The bartender and I were both annoyed by this. I said to her, “If he doesn’t know, I bet you any amount of money Source #2 will.” Luckily, right at that moment, Source #2 walked in. I walked right up to him and asked him if he knew who the writer was. He was like, “Oh, yes, of course I know him. Do you want a copy of his book?”

BAM!

Called it!

I went back to the bartender to report on my discovery. I said, “See, I told you he was going to know.”

She just smiled at me.

“I guess that means you’re a real writer now.”

Yes, I am.

I admit it was fun to watch everyone in the room try to solve the mystery. It was like that scene in The Season where they’re all on the yacht and the party gets boring so they swipe a piece of jewelry from a guest and everyone plays the mystery game to figure out who the “thief” is. I thought that was fake, but no… they really do play games like that. Apparently, this was one of those games.

I see what you did there, sir. Mad respect.

This was when Source #3 appeared. The bartender introduced me to him and we chatted for a minute. He asked me if I had a card. I actually had multiple people ask me for my card last night. I used to have one, but I don’t anymore. I guess I need to design a new one and take it to the printing shop. Put that on my To Do list.

I just wrote down my info and gave him a barnap instead. I can’t say what his name is, but I can tell you that it’s a name that is well known in the publishing industry. I guess that’s why he’s always reading that writer’s manuscripts. I could be wrong, of course. I guess we’ll find out.

I went back over to Source #2 and started chatting with him again. I thought to myself, “If he knows everyone here, I wonder if he knows who my neighbor’s family is?”

I took out a picture of him and asked. Source #2 did not immediately recognize him, but he said, “He looks familiar, but I don’t know from where. You said he is English? What is his last name?”

I gave him the name and his eyes widened.

“Ohhhhhh. That is a very, very, very old English name. Very proper. I don’t know them personally, but I can tell you that he comes from money. Old money. Very old money.

“That’s exactly what I thought,” I said. “We aren’t speaking right now because I called him a spoiled, rich, overgrown party boy.”

He laughed at me and shook his head.

“He is,” he replied. “Someone else is paying for those boat parties. He’s probably trying to escape from his family and make his own way.”

“That’s exactly what I thought.”

“You’re the same. That’s why he’s angry with you. You can see through whatever act he’s putting on right now.”

I was surprised by how straightforward he was. It’s like… he knows him, but he’s doesn’t? Maybe he just recognizes “the type.” Personally, I know that type VERY well. I grew up around it. I can spot it from a mile away. I mean, I am that type. It’s not exactly a secret that I’m a spoiled little princess! How else would I be living in HK this long without a job? It’s not that hard to put 2 and 2 together on this one. The only real difference between us is that I’m a nerd who spends most of her time in the library, while he’s a jock running around outside in the field. It is what it is.

“He’s been avoiding me. I haven’t seen him in about a month and a half.”

“Are you sure he didn’t move out?”

“Yes.”

“He’s definitely avoiding you on purpose then.”

“That’s what I thought. I think he’s got a girl somewhere too.”

“Oh, he’s not serious about her. If he was, he wouldn’t be living there next door to you.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just know.”

See? I know what I’m doing! I can read people! I need to learn to trust my instincts. Living in South Dakota fucked me up way more than people realize. I was treated so badly there. Everyone would call me crazy and make me doubt my sanity. Turns out I was right all along, and that’s why they all hated me so much.

I guess that means I’ve been right about My Andrew all along too. I knew that fucker was contributing energy to his character. You can’t fool me, bro. I know exactly what that sneaky little fucking snake was up to all along. Somehow, I still love him anyway. That’s the last time I pay a witch under a bridge to curse someone. It didn’t fucking work!

It’s like… Really? All of that for a man who I stared at from across the room like five times? Ridiculous! Who the fuck do you think you are, Betsey? Sir Philip Sidney?!

That joke is funny AF, btw. If you don’t get it, you don’t get it.

ANYWAY, that aside, I guess we’re going to start calling my neighbor “Mr. Bridgerton” now. Hahahaha! That’s funny as fuck, actually. I guess that means I’ve gotta go stalk him on Lamma Island. That’s his “hangout spot.”

I told the bartender this and she was sooooo here for it! She lives there. She immediately wrote down the directions for me and gave me the name of “the good spot.” She was like, “I can’t wait to read about what you find over there.”

Oh god, I can’t even imagine. I can only assume the dress code is “All White Everythang.” I guess that means I have to go shopping now. Believe it or not, I don’t wear a lot of white clothing. I much prefer black. You know, like Johnny Cash.

Until we start to make a move to make a few things right, you’ll never see me wear a suit of white…

BLOG: The Judgmental Fox

Wednesday.

Currently in my apartment having a coffee. It’s been a strange week so far. Things are getting better for me in general, but I’m still not where I want to be in life. I choose to be patient with myself and give myself the space and time I need to grow. I’m only 15 months into my new life. It’s okay to be at peace with where I am now.

Monday was weird. I went up to the Secret Society, which I am rapidly figuring out is not a “Bloody Mary’s-Bangkok” type of situation. The bartenders and other members are really forcing me out of my habit of sitting alone in the corner writing about people instead of talking to them. It is a social club, after all. I joined so I could be social, even if I feel awkward and totally out of my comfort zone. It’s not that bad, really.

I find quite a bit of value in being around non-creative people. They are the consumers of creative content, after all. I was invited to sit at a table with some people, so I asked them what they like to watch in terms of movies and TV. I grabbed a napkin and wrote down all the titles so I could study the screenplays. The list is pretty solid, actually. I was quite impressed. They have good taste, even if they may not think so.

Unfortunately for me, one of the people sitting at this table was Mr. Bathroom. I am still not a fan. He, however, is clearly obsessed with me now. I treat it like an opportunity to set boundaries and say No.

On this evening, I was explaining how artistic patronage works and how I’ve used it in the past to accomplish various creative tasks, such as writing a book. I could see the wheels turning inside Mr. Bathroom’s head as I explained, which is never good.

He looked at me and said, “Okay, let’s role play this scenario. Let’s say I’m the rich guy…”

I already knew where he was going with this. I’m sure you can guess too.

“I get you your own apartment with a studio space for your writing and art. I pay for everything, I visit you whenever I want, and if you don’t produce anything, I take it all away.”

His friend looked at him with an eyebrow raised. “That sounds like a Mistress,” she said. She turned her head back to look at me. “You know what he’s really saying right? He expects sex in return.”

O RLY?! You don’t fucking say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Right,” I said. “So the only problem with your ‘roleplay scenario’ is that I’m not interested in you, like at all. Also, you have a long-term partner you live with, whose children you take care of. I think you should focus on your family instead.”

He just looked at me with that little sparkle in his eyes and said, “Okay, your loss.”

Hmm… somehow I highly doubt that!

He got up and left. The woman then said, “This is why I’m independent. I make my own money. I control my own fate. I never have to rely on men in that way. Neither should you.”

Noted! I agree COMPLETELY!

Seriously, though. How does this guy keep getting worse? ¿Como se dice “scumbag” en español?

Anyway, thank you for giving me yet another push I need in life! I really need the motivation right now. I need to get cracking on the whole job/visa paperwork thing. I took my little vacation from reality and used my time to work on my book. Now it’s time to get serious again.

Also, thank you for reminding me why I still continue to come back here in spite of the fact that I don’t necessarily like every person I meet. I don’t have to like them. I just have to be in the same room with them. It is what it is.

Yeah, I’m definitely learning a lot. I appreciate the fact that they are welcoming of me in their space. In South Dakota I was treated like the town punching bag and in Bangkok I was treated with suspicion. Very difficult to network and make proper connections of any kind. This is a very important life skill to have. I feel like I am learning how to do it when I go up there, for better or for worse.

Luckily, right at that moment, another lady walked into the bar and approached the table. The three of them all knew each other, but I had never met her before. She said hello and politely introduced herself, then essentially cut me out of the conversation. I was relieved to be ignored for a moment, so I took the opportunity to go outside for a cigarette break.

I got into a conversation with the guys standing outside about James Bond. They had a completely inaccurate reading of the Daniel Craig films, but I didn’t try to argue with them. I just listened. Sure, I was sitting there thinking, “Wrong. Wrong. You’re so wrong!” but it doesn’t matter. The point is to take a step back and listen.

One of them lives in the same neighborhood as me, so after the bar closed, we walked down the hill together. We went to the corner bar on Peel Street and chatted for a very long time. So long that we closed down that bar as well. Then we just sat on Peel Street chatting for awhile. He walked me home. I realized when I came in that it was FIVE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING! What!!!! Disaster!

This one was pushing me to look for marketing jobs. He says his company in particular isn’t into AI and believes in human creativity and storytelling. He was going on and on about the importance of storytelling and how having creative minds of the team is extremely valuable to people like himself who don’t think that way. He was encouraging me to get back on the job hunt and go for this industry. He said, “I know we are drinking, but I can tell from our brief conversation that you have a significant mountain of talent and skill you are not using right now. You should be using it, especially in this day and age. We need people like you now more than ever.”

I thought to myself, “He is right. Thank you again, Secret Society, for pushing me to better than I am. I came to climb the ladder, they see it for what it is, and now they are pulling me up with them. This is great! Much better than that bucket of crabs back in South Dakota. All they did was drag me down into that miserable blackhole with them.”

I made a note of this and went to bed. When I woke up again a few hours later, I felt an extremely strong urge to make peace with my dad. I talked to him a little bit then decided to go out for a walk “with” him. I went to get my glasses fixed, stopped at the bookstore, then picked up some Lebanese food for lunch. He lived in Lebanon for a year, so I always feel closer to him in spirit when I go out for Lebanese. It was a good day. It was peaceful.

My trip to the bookstore was fun. I visualized my book on display at the front of the shop, picked up a new notebook to write said book in, and went to look for coloring books. They only had the kid kind, not the therapeutic adult kind, but it doesn’t really matter. A coloring book is a coloring book. The first one they pulled out for me was a Dr. Seuss coloring book. I just looked at it and teared up and whispered softly, “Daddy?” He used to always read Dr. Seuss to me when I was little. I just got so overwhelmed in that moment. I mean, I’m sitting here in tears just writing about it. Imagine trying not to break down in tears in the middle of a store in Central during lunch hour. Yeah. It was A LOT.

Somehow I pulled it together long enough to pay for the books and get out. I picked up my food and went home to cry into my chicken shawarma, lol. I did some yoga, went to the shrine to make an offering, and then decided to stay in for the night and watch TV.

I got antsy after awhile and decided to head over to the Cantina around 10pm. My friends were working and I knew it would be empty. I was hoping to finish my new Island of Lost Guys script, but I realized I’m nowhere near completing it. Mostly, I just felt relief that whatever weird fixation I briefly developed with my neighbor got poured out onto the page and is no longer negatively affecting me.

I don’t really care about him anymore. He’s disappeared from my life now. I’m just keeping the sweatpants as a souvenir. I’m also keeping the weird little stuffed animal he gave me way back in the Spring after one of our first conversations. He called it “The Judgmental Fox.” It’s a little white fox with crazy eyes. I set it high up on the shelf so it can look down at me and judge me in that very English way. He said it’s supposed to be a reminder to hold myself to a higher standard and take myself more seriously because I’m always being watched and judged.

At first, I was like, “Uhhhh…. Okay?” but now I understand what he was saying. I just had to spend more time in the Mid-Levels, I guess. I finally get it. I am definitely being watched and judged at all times. Luckily for me, it seems like the judgment is skewing towards “Extremely Skilled, Talented, and Valuable, but Without Direction, Purpose, and Opportunity.”

I would definitely call that an improvement over my South Dakota days when the judgment skewed towards “CrAzY bItCh!” Yeah, of course I look crazy to a bunch of negative, ignorant people who will never leave their sad little town. That doesn’t mean I have to define myself that way. I was just trapped out there for so long I completely forgot who I was and how to make proper use of my skills and talents.

Now I’m in a better place. I just have to pull myself up again. It is what it is.

I can do this. I know it. I made it this far. I’m not giving up. This is my life now. I am here by choice. I have the opportunity to do anything I want. I just have to give myself a real chance and go for it.

Thank you, Mr. Judgmental Fox. I appreciate you now that I see what you did there. I’m sending you back that same energy now. I wish you well on your spiritual journey, wherever it may take you in life.

Thank you.

BLOG: The Hong Kong Judging Club

Friday.

At the brunch spot. It’s about 4pm. I decided to eat before I go out tonight because I have learned my lesson, theoretically.

The server is from Nepal. I chat with her every time I come here. She’s pretty cool. She just asked me for my contact info. She wants to meet me on her day off so she can sit down with me and tell me her story. She offered to pay me to write it for her, but I told her she can just gift me a bottle of wine instead.

She has told me before that she sends most of the money she makes working here in Hong Kong back home to her family in Nepal. I think we can all agree they need that money more than I do right now. Do I need money? Yes, of course I do. Do I need money badly enough to take it from a Nepalese person after a major catastrophic disaster directly caused by climate change wiped out dozens of villages and killed thousands of people?

No. No, I do not.

Honestly, she doesn’t even have to bring me the wine. It would be an honor for me to sit down with her and give her a chance to share her story and speak her truth. I am flattered that she asked me to take down her life story. She doesn’t have to give me anything in return. I know she feels like she should pay me for any and all services rendered, but I’m not taking it. I refuse.

It is what it is.

Now for the juicy stuff. And by that I mean, the Secret Society content we are all waiting for…

So, first thing is first, our friend from the bathroom is still a problem. I saw him at The Wolf on my way up to the Mid-Levels. Without revealing too much, I will explain that The Wolf is located on a corner with one side that opens directly to the street. I usually walk by there on my way up the hill to check who is in there. I pretend like I’m not looking, but I am 100% always looking!

On this evening, Mr. Bathroom was sitting there street-side with two of his friends. I walked right by him, heard him speaking Spanish, and recognized his voice. I pretended I hadn’t heard anything and kept staring straight ahead as I walked past. When I got on the escalator and was far enough up so as to no longer be seen, I peaked into the bar and confirmed that it was indeed him.

As soon as I saw him, I thought to myself, “He’s going to follow me up to the Secret Society. I bet any amount of money he’s going to finish this drink and suggest to his friends they move on. I know it. I just know it.”

As per usual, I was right in my assumption. I walked into the Secret Society and he showed up with his friends about 10-15 minutes later.

Like, OF COURSE he followed me. Of course he did! He knows I don’t like him or respect him and that I think he’s a disgusting pig. Why wouldn’t he follow me?

Men are weird like that. I told my neighbor I think he’s hot and he literally vanished into thin air overnight. I told this Finance Bro I think he sucks, so now he’s following me around like a stray dog. Ridiculous.

Auntie Bella WAS right: If you want real results with a man, Call Him Ugly.

I decided to ignore this intrusion and chat with my English and Irish banker friends instead. They were sitting with a friend who I had not previously met before. He was wearing floral swim trunks and a t-shirt. He told me he just got back from two months in Thailand. Lucky him!

He told me he “works with horses.” I googled him this morning and that’s… definitely an understatement, lol. I will not go into further detail because one of the conditions of my membership at this establishment (or so I perceive) is that I do not doxx the other members.

This establishment is the sort of place where the big wigs like to hang out without having to feel “special,” or however you want to say it. In their lives and their jobs, they are Very Important. At this place… they are just normal people out having the craic at the pub after work. They will be vague about what they do for work, they may or may not give you a fake name to throw you off their trail (I am guilty of doing this myself, so I get it), and they will undersell themselves every time. They could be the top person in their field in the entire fucking world and they will not tell you.

Do you follow me?

Yeah. Right. That’s why I’m calling it “The Secret Society.” It literally is what it is.

I digress. This gentleman did allude to the fact that he was kind of a big deal multiple times, but he kept derailing my questions about his job because he didn’t want to talk about it. Obviously, I thought this was quite hilarious when I looked him up later. I just laughed when I saw his CV like, “This is the same man I just met wearing floral swim trunks to the bar in his post-Thailand haze?”

As the kids say… Sometimes it really do be like that tho. *shrugs*

He asked me to come home with him, but I said no, because duh. Then he wanted to know if I would ever date a man twenty years older than myself (obviously I already have) and if I am looking for a boyfriend. I said, “Maybe, but it depends on what you’re offering me.”

“What do you want?”

“I just want to have fun. Get me out of this goddamn bar. Let’s go have fun adventures around Hong Kong. I’m fun to have on your arm at a really boring party. I’m a member of the HKJC: The Hong Kong Judging Club.”

He gave me a little smile and took down my number, then left to walk up the hill to his luxury apartment or whatever. I guess we’ll see what happens now. Haven’t heard from him yet! Next time remind me to call him ugly…

LMFAO!

Yeah, I know, it’s not great, but it is what it is. Banging random hot sexy beefcakes is fun, but it would be way more fun to have a rich boyfriend who takes me to horse races, yacht parties, and on impromptu trips to Thailand.

IT IS WHAT IT IS!

After he left, I realized I was alone in the bar with Mr. Bathroom, his friends, and a lady I’ve seen hanging around him many times. She says they are “very close friends.” Mmmmhmmmm. I bet you are, Ms. “Loudly Brags About Her Sex Toy Collection To Anyone in the Bar Who May or May Not Want to Hear This Information.”

Anyway, this gangbang-in-the-making had “NOPE” written all over it, so I left the bar and headed on back down the hill.

I stopped at the Cantina to visit with my friend, then ran into the SoHo Queen at the corner bar on Peel Street on my way home. Naturally, she wanted to hang out, so I agreed, but only upon the condition that she never take me back to Wan Chai ever again.

Instead we went to a random bar around the block and got shitfaced. I love that lady. She’s definitely scary and crazy and ridiculous, but she’s also a motherfucking gangsta-ass bitch and I have nothing but respect for her.

I know, I sound like a shallow social-climber who only cares about money, power, and status. What can I say? I just spent 17 years of my life living in South Dakota, being treated like shit and kicked around for sport by the dumbest of the dumb and the lowest of the low. We all know I’m better than that.

As we have seen by the EXTREME reactions to my writing in multiple parts of the world, I am a very powerful person. At this point in my life, I have simply chosen to align myself with the people I see as my equals in this world. In order to become my best self, I must surround myself with other powerful people who can elevate me to the level I should have been on this entire time. I’ve spent enough time running around with the riff-raff down by the docks. That’s not who I really am deep down in my soul.

And honestly? I just want the lifestyle I grew up with back. I’m sick of struggling. I’m sick of working low-level jobs that any idiot could do for scraps from the table. I’m sick of being surrounded by people who act like crabs in a bucket. I want to climb to the top of the Peak, dress up in all white, and look down at everyone in my old life like they are nothing but tiny little insignificant nobodies to me. I want to get to a point in my life where nobody can ever touch me again. I don’t know what I have to do to get to that point, but I do know the entire idea of it is motivating AF. I didn’t come to Hong Kong to be a teacher. I came to climb to the top of the motherfucking mountain. So that is what I am going to do…

Off now. I should be finishing my Island of Lost Guys story, but I’m still letting it simmer for a bit. My Neighbor’s character has a lot of things to say, I guess. Let the man speak!

In the meantime, I will enjoy this sudden role reversal where I am the one who is now sitting up on the hill dressed up in white looking down at him. Just kidding, of course. Afternoon tea on the veranda is soooooo not my thing! I much prefer a balcony decorated with Mardi Gras beads where I can chill in my mask with a frozen daiquiri and look down at the plebs drunkenly wandering the streets far below me. As we say in New Orleans, laissez les bons temps rouler!

It is what it is… 🙂 🙂 🙂

Welcome to the Hong Kong Judging Club!

BLOG: Questions Answered

Tuesday.

I was so sick all day yesterday. I don’t know if it was something I ate or the amount I drank, or if it was too much in a short span of time. I had stomach issues all weekend and then yesterday I just couldn’t get out of bed at all. It’s better today but I definitely already made a trip to the 7-11 to re-up on the Vitamin C/D/Zinc magical mixture that seems to cure most of my stomach problems.

I still don’t feel great, but I have stuff to get done today. For example, my apartment has fallen into disrepair because I went out four days in a row after barely leaving at all. It’s pretty easy to tidy up because it’s so small, but some effort is still required there. I just look around the room right now and think to myself, “Ugh, this HAS to get done today or the rest of the week will be completely shot in terms of productivity.”

Meanwhile, I did not account for Sunday, so I must do that now.

I started off my Sunday with the intention of making a bad life choice. Luckily for me, I did not make that choice. Instead, I went to my favourite brunch spot and wrote a little bit. Then I went up to the Secret Society to socialize.

Originally I intended it to be my “warm-up” so I would feel more comfortable making this bad decision, but by the time I got there, it was already too late. I thought about it too much and decided not to wander on back down the path of no return. What’s the point? What is all this for? It’s just… not worth it to me anymore.

Instead I chose to stay at the Secret Society and see who showed up on that particular day. My Irish friend stopped in for about 5 minutes to chat with me. My British Banker Uncle stopped in, ordered a drink, disappeared somewhere in the back, then re-appeared a short while later looking very, very happy. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug and then left. No other explanation other than that. Didn’t even take his second drink on the BOGO Happy Hour deal. Weird.

Who else was there?

There was some super weird South African guy who was definitely married, definitely wearing tropical swim trunks, and definitely giving sleazy AF vibes right from the moment he saw me. I could tell he was going to be a problem because I caught him STARING at me multiple times before he finally moved in, as I knew he eventually would. He led with “I lived in Phuket for 4 years. I miss Thailand so much. I lived like a King when I was there. Now I have to live here in Hong Kong because of my family. Ugh! I like my kids, but not my wife. What about you?”

Ugh, gross! I instantly got the ick. The way men talk about their trips to Thailand should forever be put on the “Dating Red Flag” list. The things that I saw when I was there… unforgettable in every way. Ewwwww.

Anyway, so he was being annoying, but luckily this other banker I know and his wife showed up to rescue me. This guy would be the one who initially confronted me about being a writer and sitting in there watching people. He’s pretty chill, his wife is pretty chill, whatever.

As I said, I find these Finance Peeps to be pretty fun to hang out with in general. I don’t know why. It doesn’t really make sense. I guess maybe it’s because I get to be special and different, as opposed to hanging out with other creatives who are all special and different too?

Whatever…

Let’s see… who else…

There was a British couple in there that stopped by while on vacation. The wife was a teacher and had lived in four different countries, including the UAE. I thought she was really interesting to talk to. I enjoyed hearing her stories about her various experiences.

She mentioned that she “lived in New Haven, Connecticut.” The bartender, who lived in NYC once upon a time and is naturally a very straight-shooter, gave her a look and said, “Soooo you went to Yale.”

The lady looked down and blushed a little and said, “Yeah, it’s just a small school, ya know?”

Hahahaha.

The bartender and I were both very amused by this. It’s an East Coast thing. My dad would do the same thing. He would be like, “I lived in Cambridge.” Oh, so you went to Harvard? “Yeah, it’s just a small school. Maybe you’ve heard of it?”

Ivy Leaguers. They are what they are, lol.

Ah, this leads me into my next character. I went outside for a cigarette after the room had cleared. This old man with a very thick Scottish accent walked right up to me outside and said, “Are you from Paris? I met a French woman once from Paris. She liked to smoke cigarettes too. I would always say to her, ‘Hey baby, can you blow some smoke in my face.’ So whaddaya say? Hey baby, will you blow some smoke in my face?”

I just started laughing right in his face. Like, what? This dude had to be in his 70’s or 80’s. Just ZERO filter. Hilarious! There was also something weirdly poetic and rehearsed about it, so I marked him down mentally as I watched him limp on inside the bar.

Later he came back outside and approached me again. He asked me what I do. I told him I’m a writer. He stopped and looked me up and down and said, “You know I’m a writer too. I’ve been publishing for 50 years. I’ve traveled all over the world. I’m on my way to teach a class over in Canada right now.”

He told me his name is Ian, but I have not found his work yet. He would not tell me his last name. He said it will be more fun for me if I have to guess. So, since I don’t usually use real names, I will make an exception here, because I have no further information than this.

Then he sat down and proceeded to give me ALL the professional writing career advice. I would say the majority of it is still relevant. He was big on the MFA path, which is unusual to hear. Usually the MFA students I meet are really fucking bitter about their experiences and say a lot of negative things. It was refreshing to hear someone said, “I had a positive experience at my MFA program. It benefitted me a lot. I have a successful career now as a writer because of it.”

He was also big on the “patronage/grant/outside funding” thing. He was explaining all of the ways to get money from people to support my creative goals. Then he looked at me and said, “You’ve been living in Hong Kong for almost a year now and you still haven’t found yourself a rich banker to take care of you? You need to get on that.”

Oh, right, as if it’s so easy in this day and age to just go out on a whim and find a random man who isn’t already dating/engaged/living with/married to someone else. Gee, thanks, Grandpa. Never thought of that one. Nope, not once did it ever occur to me to find a rich husband to support my creative career goals.

Haha, just kidding. It has occurred to me many times. It’s just that it’s hard to find someone who is single, attractive, and willing to tolerate me on my bad days. Most of them just don’t have the emotional intelligence required to understand someone like me. It is what it is.

I would say most people in general lack the emotional intelligence to understand anyone with complex trauma. I would say most people are very surface level. They don’t like dealing with complex ideas, people, or situations. If they can’t understand it in the same amount of time it takes to watch a TikTok, then they’re out. The lack of empathy for others in this world is very real.

I’m just at a point where I understand myself to accept myself for who I am in this moment and love her anyway. Sure, my goal in general is to be healthy and happy. I’m very invested in that project. However, some days are still really bad for me. For example, I get very emotional over my dead daddy issues. I wish I had someone to talk to about it, but I don’t. I just have to find ways to deal with it, like yoga and hiking the Peak, and writing in my blog, and getting drunk and singing and dancing on the rooftop.

Summarizing this point: look at my neighbor. He has complained to me multiple times about volume control. I get this, but he went too far on this, and this is why I’m mad at him. Instead of just leaving his complaint at that, he felt the need to address some of the things he could hear me saying to myself, to the camera, to my iPad, and give me what he thought was the “tough love” I needed.

Wrong. So wrong.

It was all very surface level. He had no understanding of my situation at all. He was just doing his British thing and wearing all white while sitting on top of the hill looking down at me. Then he proceeded to show me, multiple times, that he himself is not a financially or emotionally stable human being, and therefore his judgments are irrelevant to me.

Anyway, I digress. Yeah, it would be nice to have a rich banker funding my creative lifestyle, but what I really need is someone emotionally stable enough to communicate with me in a solution-oriented way. Like, “Hey, you’re having a bad day today. What exactly are you upset about? Are you caught in a loop where you are reliving traumatic memories, or are you cranky because you haven’t eaten anything today? What do you need to do right now in this moment to feel better? How can we get you back on track so you don’t go off the rails?”

Personally, I don’t think that’s very much to ask for from your partner. That’s like… the most basic level, for me. I really need someone who knows how to communicate and wants to work together. But no! Apparently this is too much to ask for, especially from men, most of whom look at a woman and think, “How can I break her down psychologically so that she gives up on all of her goals and dreams in life? Then she can focus solely on servicing me, as if she were nothing more than a convenient household appliance?”

Yeah, it’s really a mystery why someone like me has ZERO fucking interest in dealing with a man like that.

Sigh.

Anyway, back to the writer…

He finished his drink and wandered off back into the night. It was at this point that closing time was looming in. I settled my tab and finished my drink as I watched the bartender start his closing tasks. That was the exact moment when our friend from the bathroom wandered in…

It was just the two of us alone with the bartender, so I took the opportunity to ask him the burning question on my mind: Why don’t you just marry your girlfriend?

So, first he pretended he never said that he wanted to get married. Then he went into some whole thing about how they are equals so they don’t need to do the formal piece of paper thing. Then he admitted to me that she had two kids (not his) that he’s taking care of, which annoyed me even more.

Legally speaking, this is not a good situation to be in. People say that piece of paper doesn’t matter, but… it really does. Trust me. Someone could get sick or die tomorrow, and you’re gonna find out REAL FAST how much that piece of paper matters, lol. Ask me how I know!!!

I think people just don’t plan ahead for these kinds of situations. Anyway, it definitely gave me the insight I was looking for in terms of human relationships. This is not the kind of relationship I would ever want, personally. I need that piece of paper. That shit is real and important. Now I know it’s 100% non-negotiable for me.

The amusing part of this conversation was when he looked me straight in the eyes and told me he was happy. Bro, you ran down here to the bar 15 minutes before closing time (11pm), then proceeded to down THREE double tall rum & cokes over the course of our very brief conversation.

That, combined with the incident between us at The Wolf, tells me something is extremely off here. I guess it’s technically none of my business. I just wanted to understand what’s going on with this guy and why he acts the way he does. So now I know.

I’m just like that, I guess. If someone is acting weird towards me, I want to know why. Like, this clearly isn’t about me right now, so there must be something up with you. Time for an investigation. What are you hiding? What are you insecure about? What is eating at you so much that you feel the need to take out your bullshit on me?

Now we know.

The bar closed down and I waited outside for him to leave. I smoked a cigarette and called an Uber, which is something I usually don’t do. However, I’ve learned that sometimes, it really is better for me to get a ride back home instead of walking all the way down the hill. I decided this was one of those days.

Then I came home and when I woke up in the morning, I wasn’t feeling well. I made myself some ginger tea with lemon and honey, then spent the day asleep. Then I slept all night. I feel better today, but my stomach is still revolting against me. I guess this means I’m taking a break from going out again.

Back to my yogi diet of fruit smoothies, herbal teas, giant salads with everything on them, my special Ayurvedic spicy noodles recipe, and the snacks I know are safe. I’m pretty good at sticking with my healthy diet. Like I said when I was in Bali, I tried to go full vegetarian but I was missing the protein too much. So as of right now, my biggest weakness is still McDonald’s…

Okay, that’s all I have to say today. I have an apartment to tidy and a trip to the market to make. Then I can work on finishing my Island of Lost Guys story. I see now why it stalled. Apparently my Neighbor’s character has more to say. Okay. Fair enough. We’ll keep that open until it finally feels like it’s “done.”

Off now! Have a good day. Farewell!

BLOG: The Court Jester

Sunday.

Here we are at brunch. I’m still trying to finish my episode of the Island of Lost Guys. It’s just about done. I just can’t get those last little bits connected for whatever reason. I’ve been working on it since Wednesday.

I decided to wander back up to the Secret Society last night. I got there pretty late, so I wasn’t expecting much. I saw my Irish friend and my “Uncle,” who is an English banker. He is the one who gave me the stack of spy novels.

I chatted with the two of them for a bit. Once again, I asked my Uncle why he and his associates seem to be so welcoming of me in their club. He explained it to me this way:

“You have no idea what my days are like. I sit and stare at spreadsheets all day long. I’m working 13, 14, 15 hours a day. I barely talk to anyone at the office. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I’m not a creative person. I could never do what you do. You’re so alive. You have interesting stories to tell, you can carry on a conversation with just about anyone, and you’re funny as fuck. I didn’t like you at first, but as I’ve gotten to know you better, I find you to be extremely entertaining. You bring light to an otherwise dreary day.”

Awwwwww! That’s so sweet!

But also, that does officially make me the Court Jester, as I said in my previous post. Since this is such an illustrious post, I just have one question and one question only: when do I get paid?

Meanwhile, my neighbor is sitting on the other side of the wall like, “I hear that!”

I seriously haven’t seen him in like a month now. He straight-up pulled a vanishing act on me. It’s incredible. True talent, right there. Love him in his new role as the Invisible Man. It’s really doing it for me, haha. I can tell he’s really committed to this role. What can I say? I inspire the best in people. I’m definitely bringing out the best his acting abilities have to offer, lol.

Well, inevitably, I couldn’t handle the obsession anymore, so I made the decision to get under someone else. Enter Some Random Stranger. I don’t know his name, I don’t know what he does, I don’t even know where he’s from. Nothing. I know nothing, and I don’t care. The less I know about him, the better. I have zero interest in adding another character to my roster. I just wanted to get laid.

I’m just gonna say that he definitely looks like he could be a rugby player. Therefore, we’re just gonna say he’s a rugby player. An international rugby player who travels all over the world. So, you know, obviously I let him go ahead and tackle me to the ground. And now I’m about to go do it again. It is what it is!

My goal here is really just to forget about my neighbor, because it’s become very obvious this movie ends with me going to Cambodia and whispering his name into a temple. It is what it is.

So I’ll just go get this itch scratched and hopefully we can forget all of this ever happened. Then I will be free from distractions and get back to writing my book.

Okay, that’s all for now. I have a story to finish…

BLOG: Be A Muse or Be Muse’d

Friday.

Here we are at the Cantina. I’ve spent the last three days working on my new episode of The Island of Lost Guys, which obviously features my neighbor. I am planning to tell him about it. I guess I have to write an apology note to him and say, “I wrote you this story as my apology for writing mean things about you when I was mad.”

My decision to Muse-ify him was the right one. I’m not angry or fixating on him anymore now that he’s been properly written down on the page. I did have a dream last night where he was dressed up like one of the Avengers though, so… maybe I am still fixating just a little bit, lol.

Meanwhile, up at the Secret Society, the situation changes by the hour. Yesterday I went in there to write. I was up there for about three hours working on my story when the regulars all showed up for a party.

One of them went upstairs to his apartment and brought me back a stack of espionage novels set in Hong Kong. I guess I’ll be flipping through those in my spare time if anyone needs me, though I admit I’m having a hard time taking an espionage novel written by someone using the name “M.C. Butterworth” seriously.

Otherwise, our friend from the bathroom is still making casual passes at me. He keeps saying he wants to get married. Last night I asked him why he doesn’t just marry his girlfriend and everyone laughed at me like I had just made the most hilarious joke in the world. Not sure what’s going on there, but I’m nosy AF and I want to find out.

I don’t know why I go up there, lol. It’s so painfully obvious that I do not fit in or belong there. Plus it can get really weird in there sometimes. I don’t know why. Maybe it was something else before it became that bar and that’s why the vibe is so weird? I’ve noticed that’s A Thing here in HK. The “Old Hong Kong” might be long gone, but the energy still hangs around…

What I do know for sure is that I’m still trying to keep my distance from this group. They are interesting to observe from afar, but there’s still something there that prevents me from getting too close. I don’t know what it is. It’s probably the fact that I’m an artist/writer and they all work in Banking and Finance. It could also be the fact that I am the only American and therefore an outsider. It’s very obvious that I’m seen as more of a “Court Jester” type than anything else. Even I can’t take myself seriously when I’m in the room with them. I guess maybe I’m not used to taking myself seriously in general, so…

Maybe the reason I go there is because I know I’m an extreme outsider in this group. I don’t have to try to fit in because I know I never will. There is some level of freedom that comes with that. I’m not trying to get them to like me or accept me. I just want to be comfortable as myself, which I am learning how to do by standing in that room with them.

I suppose there is always the fear it could turn into another Bloody Mary’s and/or Bangkok situation. That’s part of the reason I don’t write too much about them. I watch them and listen in on their conversations, but I don’t “character-ify” them the way I’m doing with my neighbor right now. I guess now I’m starting to do that now since I’m getting to know them better. Still, I feel uneasy about writing too much about the people I meet in that place. There’s just something off about it for me. I can’t put my finger on it.

Meanwhile, the couple sitting at the bar is arguing with each other right now. Ugh. What a buzzkill. It’s mostly the guy yelling at the woman, telling her she is lazy and disrespectful and he’s tired of taking care of her. White guy/Asian lady, just in case you’re wondering.

I’m supposed to be finishing my story right now. I’m not working on it at all. I’m ready to just go back home and go to bed instead, lol.