Saturday.

Currently at a new place in my neighborhood. Shocking, I know. One of the servers from my regular brunch spot moved over here because it’s part of the same restaurant group, so I came to visit her.

We are planning to meet next week so I can interview her about her life growing up in Nepal and how she came to Hong Kong. I am very excited to sit down with her for this interview! She is actually the one who initially approached me about it, but she has been too busy with work to meet. I think she approached me a few days after that horrible flood and landslide that made international headlines. Something in the universe told her she should share her story. I am honored she chose me to help her tell it.

I’ve never done a proper sit-down interview like this before, so I will have to take some time to prepare. Pretty sure I can do it, no problem. I have studied many of the greats who came before me. Also, I do this all the time with random people on a very informal level. No problemo!

What news do I have from this week? Oh, you mean aside from the fact that I managed to make a total and complete ass out of myself at the Secret Society on Wednesday night after taking too many shots at the birthday party and had to go on an apology tour?

It’s fine. They didn’t immediately ban me for life because of one shitty thing I said, unlike CERTAIN people who shall not be named. *cough hack* ANDREW *cough hack*

The first two people I apologized to were pretty cool with it. It’s the lady friend of Mr. Bathroom who is holding the grudge. Oh, right, like she didn’t already hate me before and was just looking for an excuse to really hate me. I’m sure it will be fine. She’s pretty low on my priority list, so as long as we can smile and be polite to each other when in the same room, I don’t really give a fuck if she hates me or not.

——

Okay, here we are now at the Secret Society. Horse Guy is here. Too busy watching his races, as per usual. I really don’t give a fuck. I have exactly two things on my agenda right now: write this stupid fucking story about my stupid neighbor and apologize to this lady because she got offended by a comment that probably wasn’t directed at her.

Well, I already told one of these stories, so clearly now I have to tell the other story.

Ugh. My neighbor. Ugh.

As previously established, this guy is definitely crazier than I am. Once again, he proved it to me last night, or should I say this morning.

So allow me to preface this by saying I have not had the best two weeks. All week long, I have been doing everything in my power to be as productive as possible without having a total fucking meltdown.

I admit I have not been as successful with this goal as I hoped. I definitely had multiple meltdowns this week. The whole Cornell 7 case definitely triggered a full-blown angry meltdown that was far beyond my control. These things happen. I’m working on it! Yoga, meditation, quality social time, Netflix, reading, working on grad school and job applications, the usual.

So after Wednesday, I told myself I was going to be a good girl and isolate myself at home until I could come back to my center and behave myself properly in public again. I gave myself a week. Well… that didn’t work out. I deeply regret not going out last night because I had multiple messages from friends asking for me and I chose to isolate at home instead. Right, because I came all the way to Hong Kong to do that, right?

Right.

Didn’t drink at all, watched some TV, ate some noodles, drank some tea, went to bed early. Boring!

Fast forward to 6:30am.

Here comes my shitass fucking neighbor coming home from wherever the fuck he was, in whatever state of mind he was, choosing to be loud enough to wake me up from whatever nightmare I was having. fine. I heard him banging around on the other side of the wall, so I decided to calm myself down by heading up to the rooftop to have a cigarette.

Just as I was finishing up, here he comes with his stupid fucking Eminem hair out onto the rooftop. As soon as he saw me, he loudly exclaimed “Are you fucking shitting me?!” You know, as if he had not been the one rude enough to wake me from my unpleasant slumber. Okay, that’s my cue to go back inside and leave him alone to have whatever fucking meltdown he’s having.

Does he step off to the side of the garden to give me enough personal space to pass by without direct engagement? No. Of course not. Instead, he chose to sit right in the fucking doorway like the gatekeeping little troll he is and directly block my way back down the stairs. As I was turning the corner, I heard him muttering some weird passive-aggressive shit to himself.

Having seen him in this state of mind before, I chose not to engage him. Instead, I had to step over his fucking gigantic leg because he was manspreading wide enough to block the entire doorway, all while making a big show out of deeply sighing with annoyance and glaring down angrily at his phone. I said nothing and walked down the stairs. He continued muttering passive-aggressively to himself, at just a low enough volume so that I could not hear whatever insults he was lobbing my way. So annoying.

What is this, South Dakota?

I chose to ignore him and go back to sleep. Unfortunately for him, I had YET ANOTHER nightmare during my second sleep (because I literally have nightmares about my old life every single night), which triggered me so badly that I immediately had an epic meltdown as soon as I woke up.

Believe me when I say, I had a full-blown screaming meltdown at him straight through that stupid fucking wall. I didn’t even waste time with the little spoon, you know what I’m saying? I have had it up to here with this overgrown manbaby and his self-pitying spoiled rich boy shit. I went straight for the extra large wooden spoon and gave him the verbal spanking he so desperately needs. I got MEAN, and when I say MEAN, it really was… MEAN.

I literally said, “Do you know how lucky you are to even be featured as a character in my writing right now? You wouldn’t even be on my radar if we weren’t sharing a fucking wall! You’re not even a real actor, okay? What do you even do? Your granddaddy was someone important, your daddy was someone important, and meanwhile you’re over here ‘cruising the mom’s groups on Facebook.’ Seriously?! GROW. THE. FUCK. UP!”

I will not repeat the rest of what I said here. Just know it was not nice. I am so over this shit. The last thing I need in my life is to come home to some random fucking man who adds to fucking stress levels instead of finding a way to alleviate them.

I need someone who will lower my cortisol levels, not increase them. I need someone who sees that I’m Hulking out and says, “Hey, babe, have you eaten anything today? Should we take a walk? Maybe watch a movie? We could just fuck that anger out of your system instead! Works every time!”

But no. I get stuck with these miserable assholes instead. Ridiculous.

I truly mean this when I say I feel genuinely bad for whatever poor, unfortunate soul he may or may not be sticking his dick in right now. She has no idea what a fucking nightmare he actually is. Guess now we know why he’s where he is in life. This man isn’t lonely enough!

But hey, bro, according to what I’ve heard, you’ve been talking about moving to Lamma Island forever, so maybe this ongoing conflict between us (that you started, by the way) will inspire you to finally get off your lazy fucking ass and do it. Good fucking riddance to you.

I don’t need this shit in my life. I have real problems I’m dealing with right now. I don’t need this guy and his ridiculously stupid hair adding to it further.

I’m getting stressed out right now just writing about it. So triggering. Even my friend expressed concern when I recounted this story to her. Like, I literally don’t need this shit.

SO OVER IT.

Not enough men in this world fear me. I need more of that Secret Society speciality Kool-Aid with an extra shot of Power. Give it to me. I am ready to crush the hearts and minds of men under my bigass dragon feet.

UGH!

Anyway, I need to take a break from my screen now. I just want to sit in the A/C in silence and fucking watch people.

Over it. So over it.

The End.