Monday.

I feel like I never write anymore since I put my latest manuscript together. Hong Kong has me focused on an entirely different beast, which is stability.

Naturally, I have made the irresponsible decision to escape this stressful, demanding lifestyle for a week to go to Bangkok. Why? Mostly because I can. I have not found a new apartment here in HK yet, so I have a gap in my living situation. I was stressing over endless fake Airbnb ads, and then the universe magically intervened.

Shortly after my previous post, I received an email informing me that I had literally accrued enough points from my previous hotel stays to go somewhere for an entire week for free. The same day, I also received a message on Facebook from a friend telling me it’s time for me to come back to visit Bangkok. It was all a strange coincidence indeed, and I do not believe in coincidences, so I figured… why not?

Why not answer the call of the wild farang? I can hear it from across the SEA. It’s saying, “Betsey, come take care of your sick water buffalo.” And by sick water buffalo, I definitely mean myself. I am the sick water buffalo, plagued by insomnia and existential dread.

Every day I wake up and watch the news. I see someone innocent being kidnapped, beaten, and/or murdered in broad daylight in the street. I can’t escape the feeling of guilt that I can’t do anything to help. It’s shitty.

Welcome to being Irish, lol!

I know what all of you are thinking:

Betsey, are you not worried about Thai immigration? Not really, no. All of my paperwork is 100% in order this time. I can prove that I legally reside in Hong Kong and I am not trying to live in “The Kingdom” illegally on a tourist visa. Plus, I already planned out my entire mini break.

It goes: spa, massage, hair, nails, yoga, pool, visiting friends, and hitting up every Irish Pub I can find. You know, for my “ancestry research.” It’s very hard to find Irish people in Hong Kong. I would like to know more about what it means to be Irish. There are lots of Irish people in Bangkok. So let’s go meet some Irish people and party it up!

Hopefully, we won’t run into Mr. Hot Beef Stew again. If we do, I’ll just tell him I have a girlfriend… or is it a wife?

Hahaha!

That aside, I’ve got my return flight booked and I can show my correspondence with my real estate agent proving I’m residing in Hong Kong. That’s literally all they want. It’s not that difficult. Sometimes we learn these lessons the hard way!

Thailand: great place to visit, not so much to stay, unless you are okay with becoming a total degenerate, which I am not. I’ve already lived that life. I want more than that. So much more. I just don’t know how to climb the ladder in front of me. It is what is.

I know what you’re thinking:

Betsey, why don’t you go to the beach? The answer is because I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts. I want to see my friends so that I don’t have to be alone with my thoughts. I lived in isolation in a small town in the middle of nowhere for a decade and a half where everyone I met treated me like shit because I was different. I don’t want to be in the middle of nowhere. I don’t want to get away from people. I just want to be in a big city surrounded by people all the time. It is what it is. Hit me up in a few decades when I’m all city’d out, if that ever even happens.

Apartment hunting in HK is a challenge to be sure. That’s part of the reason I’m in this situation. Airbnb is full of fake ads. I finally gave in and hit up an agent at ResidenceHK in search of serviced apartments that offer amenities such as laundry and housekeeping and 24/7 security, none of which my current apartment has. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve been living in an illegal apartment in a commercial building, which explains the lack of pretty much everything. The lack of security is the biggest dealbreaker for me, to be honest. I hate coming home every day to find the gate wide-open for any random person can wander in. That’s why I’m leaving it up to the professionals to guide me on this one. They know Hong Kong much, much better than I do.

My friend says she had the same issue when she first moved here. She was staying in a building with no security and that’s why she could not sleep at night. She said she suspects the reason I am not sleeping is because I don’t feel safe in my building. Safe in Hong Kong, yes, but not safe in this specific building.

This is partially the reason I decided to take this mini break. Mostly it was the offer of a free stay that hooked me. It’s not really “free” because I’ll be blowing money on food, drinks, and “goodies,” but at least I don’t have to pay for the giant loft full of natural light and extra space for my yoga mat. That is very important to me, especially because finding a job is really hard right now!

Ugh, job hunting. The bane of my existence. It seems to be a total shitshow for everyone worldwide right now. Once you’re off the market, you’re off the market. It’s impossible to get back in unless you know someone. I’ve spent a lot of my time here trying to network and meet as many people as I can. I am making some good contacts. I talk to as many people as I possibly can.

It’s just… I don’t know how to use those contacts to help me in my job hunt. It feels weird and exploitive to just ask a stranger to help you find a job. I’m not very good at it. I just talk to people for the sake of talking to people at this point. There’s so many fascinating people with interesting stories to tell. Everyone I meet is a character. It’s what makes life worth living to me.

I have not spoken to anyone in my family except my brother in many moons now. I stopped speaking to my grandmother after her crazy “You’re not a real writer!” speech. That was really shitty of her. It’s been about two months since that happened now. Honestly, I don’t miss her. I’d rather visit with the spirit of my Irish grandmother who is deceased instead.

I did talk to my uncle (dad’s brother) via email. He was telling me what he knew about our Irish heritage. I don’t think he expected me to find anything, so he was very surprised when I came back with new information really fast. I have not heard from him since, unfortunately. Not really sure what’s going on there.

Anyway, should be fun going out on my little Irish adventure in Thailand. I can’t even imagine what I will encounter. All I know is that it will make a great story. That’s all I care about in life. I just want to write a great story. When I was reading my manuscript, the best stories and characters came out of Bangkok. It’s like, cancel this book and give this epic sideshow its time in the spotlight. We are so here for it!

I know, I know, I could go somewhere else. I could go to Vietnam or Taiwan or Cambodia. But I don’t want to right now. I want to go to Bangkok. Why? Because I love it there, in spite of all its ridiculousness. I need the inspiration. And here’s the thing about Thailand: once you become a prisoner of the Kingdom, they own your soul forever. Ask anyone who has been there. They already know.

I don’t foresee having the same issues this time around. According to my information, the creepy British Guy, aka that stupid, wanker is long gone. He has taken the girlfriend he bought and paid for off to an island somewhere. Gross.

Likewise, my “friend” from the IRA is still up Chiang Mai, so I will not have to worry about him stalking me. There is one other character left who could potentially cause some trouble, but I’m sure if I just keep making jokes in his general direction, he’ll relax a bit. Maybe. Or maybe he’ll drink another five pints and have a screaming meltdown at me again. I guess I’ll just offer to bring him a plate of Hot Beef Stew, ayyyyye!

Either way, I’m here for it. Bring on the stories!

He can’t really still be made about his friend, can he? I mean, jaysus, Mary, and Joseph, that was so not on me! He totally lied straight to my face! And anyway, there’s like a zero percent chance I’ll see that guy ever again.

Famous last words, naa?

Just kidding, of course.

Otherwise, I have already made plans to see several of my friends I made there. Should be a good time! They may be degenerates, but at least they are real AF. If I never see any of those fake, self-centered idiots from the Yoga shala in Bali ever again, it will be far too soon.

The people I meet in Hong Kong are very different from both of these groups. Most are either working or students. Many are escaping their old lives back home. They tend to be serious, professional, intelligent, highly educated, and motivated. It’s good energy to be around. I meet the best people here, honestly.

I go to this gay club every weekend. I’ve already made tons of friends. I met a dancer two weeks ago who teaches dance classes. She offered to set me up an interview with her studio owner to teach yoga there. So, at least that’s one promising lead I have. Otherwise… I’ve applied to over a dozen jobs and I’ve been rejected and/or ghosted by all of them. The market in general is shit worldwide. It is not a reflection of me.

Still trying to follow up with that journalist I met in Bali, as well as the reporter from CNN. Both of them are hard to get ahold of. I’m planning to write some fluff pieces on tourism in Bangkok for some new portfolio material to pass around. You know, “Top 5 Best Irish Pubs in Bangkok” and that kind of crap. Anything to get away from my unpleasant past in South Dakota. I have nothing positive to say about it. That time in my life was literally a nightmare. I am grateful every day I finally escaped. I never want to go back to that miserable shithole ever again.

In so many ways, I still feel so lost. I am lost at SEA, adrift and clinging to a floating island of plastic, waiting for the moment I finally see land again. I crave stability so badly. I want the job, I want the career, I want the apartment, I want a long-term relationship, and a family and a home. Yet it all feels so impossible, so far away.

Still, I would rather be here than back in the States. I will never regret leaving. I don’t regret taking a chance and coming abroad. It’s always been my dream. I just didn’t expect it to go this far off the rails. Anyway, I trust the universe to manifest what I need, even if it doesn’t look like what I want.

I need to go start packing now. I finally got some space bags from the shop around the corner. That will make everything 100x easier. I have to put some of my luggage in storage while I’m gone because I don’t want to drag everything with me all the way to Bangkok again. I had to buy some warmer clothes because we had a cold snap here. I wasn’t expecting to need a fuzzy jacket and a couple of sweaters, but here we are. It is what it is.

I won’t need the winter clothes in Thailand. The weather forecast for the week is hot and sunny. Unlike here, where it will still be cold and cloudy. Definitely ready to relax out by the pool and soak up the sun!

Off now. Wish me luck on my journey back to the Ye Olde Land of Siam!