Friday morning.

At the coffee stand, happily watching the transformation of the space. The only other two people here today are the shop owner and her white boyfriend. They are sooooo cute together. I don’t know if they’re actually together, but if they’re not, they definitely should be. The way they flirt with each other and look at each other is so adorable. I see so many women doing fake flirtations with men here. This one is genuine. Their chemistry is real. I am so here for this love story today. It gives me the hope I need to still believe in love after everything I’ve been through with men in this life.

Currently editing my story from yesterday. I just re-read it after 24 hours and laughed the entire way through. It’s just… funny to me. It made me stop for a moment and become self-aware of the perception of myself I’m putting out into the world. I’ve just been going, going, going nonstop. It was like being taken into a room and forced to watch the CCTV footage of myself collected over the last 10 years. It’s not flattering, but it is funny AF!

I wrote it as a script, not a story. I was going to change it to story format when I sat down to edit it today, but I kinda just thought to myself… why? It’s supposed to be a scene from a movie or a TV show. It’s written to be a film. It’s written to include visual elements. I want to be a screenwriter. This is practice for writing in that format. Why do I have to change it?

I don’t. It can be whatever it is. It’s not serious. It’s just for fun. It’s just like… hey, here’s your Irish family checking in on ya. Have you noticed what a mess you are lately? Let’s clean this up before it’s too late. You didn’t travel across the world to be the same person you were in South bumfuck Dakota. You came to SEA to be a new person and live a new, exciting life far away from your past. Be reckless, make mistakes, leave a trail of destruction in your path. Seize the Day!

The main thing I have to change before I publish is his name. I can’t think of a better name than his real name. It’s not fair. He basically has the best name of all time already. You might even say it’s the greatest name in all of history. I can’t compete with that! Ugh. Why do I have to do so much work?

You should have seen me trying to spell this guy’s last name on google. This is why I can’t get anywhere with my research. I don’t know how to spell names in Irish. Everyone changed theirs when they came to America, so I only know the American way to spell all these names. It took me like an hour to realize that I had written it down wrong, and then tried to spell it the American way, and then tried to look in some kind of weird Irish name dictionary for help, but there was nothing even close to what I had written down in there, and then I couldn’t tell if I had all the E’s and I’s in the right place, or if that was supposed to be an L or an N, and wtf am I even looking at right now? Is this Elvish script? What is this Rumpelstiltskin-ass shit? Why can’t I figure out this guy’s name?

Yeah, so I gave up on that one pretty fast. As I said, Thailand enables my laziness. I’m not going to try that hard to find some married guy, okay? I just wasted an entire hour of my life for nothing. What compensation do I get from wasting even more of my valuable time? Forget his bitchass. Write a dumb little teleplay script about them trying to figure out who you are and get on with your life already.

I just looked it up and there is, indeed, a version of the Rumpelstiltskin story in Irish folklore. Guess that explains a lot. Better read up on my Irish folklore so I know exactly what kind of magic I’m dealing with over here. Wouldn’t want to accidentally promise away my first child to a local bar goblin or something like that. I hear that happens in Thailand all the time.

So much to do today. I was invited to a party tonight at the bar to celebrate one of these two characters I just featured in a story. Can’t wait to get fucked up Irish style and celebrate an Irish person is not St. Patrick, for once. St. Patrick’s Day is soooooo commercialized in the US. It’s a shitshow on another level. This is just a normal party with no capitalistic bullshit allowed. We’re just gonna get “pissed” like normal, everyday, hardworking people, and then I will politely excuse myself and sneak out the back whenever the fighting begins. That’s what we call a real Irish Goodbye, fam.

I’ve got it all worked out. I have a plan. See you in the Hong Kong Lounge, ya’ll.

Back to editing my story. I set myself a noon deadline because I have a bunch of errands to run today. I have an hour left now. Better get to work.

UPDATE: Trying to change this guy’s name is an actual nightmare. I looked at all of these Irish names and none of them fit. I moved into the Ancient Greek section for inspo and now I can’t keep it together. What do we think? Xerxes? Darius? Philip? Ptolemy? Augustus? Julius? Brutus? Cassius? Lepidus? Ajax? Odysseus? Jason? What about that guy from 300? What was his name? Leonidas? Or Hadrian, as in Hadrian’s Wall!

I can’t keep it together. I’m laughing my ass off. I can’t. I just can’t. How do you expect me to be serious about this right now? I just can’t.

Oh wait, I forgot, didn’t I already start calling him Antony, or was that the other guy? Oh yeah, it was, but he was just a decoy. Right. Got it. It’s Antony.

I hope I don’t see him again or this is gonna be sooooooooo awkward!!!

UPDATE #2: I just tried to use AI to edit my post and it is a fucking JOKE! First I asked it to “Select All” and it came up with no results. Then I asked it to “replace name” and it replaced the closest name with the word “name.” I spent the next 5 minutes figuring out how to Select All in the WordPress Editor because they only allow you to edit block by block for whatever dumb fucking reason. Now I’ve copied the entire story back into Microsoft Word and used the same three keyboard shortcuts I learned in the 90’s to accomplish the two tasks I set out to do in under a minute.

AI can choke on a dick. You have to be a real fucking idiot to have your job replaced by this shit.