Monday night. Day 2 of my YTTC is over. I am sore but happy I got over my anxiety spiral and got on the plane. Best decision I’ve ever made.

I was so worried about what the cohort would be like, but everyone here is pretty chill. They come from all over the world and bring so many different perspectives to the table. I am having the most interesting conversations with people. Everyone here is very open, non-judgmental, supportive, positive, encouraging, and just chill AF. It’s so refreshing. I can’t even begin to describe to you how refreshing it actually is to be in the company of so many amazing people. It’s like… this is what the yoga community is supposed to be like.

So, definitely not an India situation, which I definitely didn’t need to go through again. These two courses are like night and day. Totally different vibes. I’m really happy I decided to come to Bali instead of Rishikesh. Good choices were made, for once.

I had to laugh because someone just told me a horror story about their British ex-boyfriend that made my head spin. I’m not going into detail because it’s not my story to tell, but yeah. I was definitely giving my phone the side-eye through the whole episode. Like… oh no… what did i get myself into this time?

No idea. My British Guy was annoying me this morning because he tried to restart over conversation from last night at like 9:30am, which is like… I get that you just woke up, but I’ve been awake since 6am and I’m busy right now. I don’t have time or energy to worry about your dick, bro. Ugh.

Yeah, I mean…. I guess he’s okay. You know, aside from the constant threats to strangle me during sex, which is definitely not hot. I don’t understand why this is a thing. I thought everyone knew strangulation is the first sign of escalating domestic violence that will likely end in murder, but apparently not! Let’s make violence in the bedroom popular and ruin the entire experience of sex for everyone instead. Great. Just great. Thanks again for nothing, patriarchy.

Let’s just say that I’m staying at the International Buffet instead of letting this guy take me to his all-you-can-eat banquet. Why return to Bangkok just to see this guy when I can go to some random surf camp in like, Sri Lanka or something, and bang some random hot Aussie surfer bro instead? I mean, I’m open-minded. He could be from anywhere as long as he’s a hot, sexy beefcake. I just prefer it be somewhere I haven’t had my passport stamped yet, you know what I’m saying?

I’d rather make this guy come to me. If he wants me, he can book us a room on a random island somewhere. I’m not spending money to go see some random guy when there’s a whole world full of them out there just waiting to be discovered. Never again.

I also prefer not to be fucking strangled, so definitely going to have to make sure I screen for that before I take my next date home. Not sure how to do that besides directly asking, “Hey, do you ever fantasize about committing violence against women in the bedroom? You know, slapping, punching, choking, spitting, nonconsensual anything (which is basically just rape), all this disgusting garbage from porn. Because if you are, we are not compatible. Period.”

Like I said a couple posts go, this is why you don’t take home strangers you just met at the bar an hour ago when you’re totally shitfaced. You don’t know what you’re going to get. It’s not worth it. Don’t be me.

I know, I could change, but then what would I write about? I would no longer be the Abominable Ho-Man. And then what would I be?

That’s a trick question because I’m a Scorpio. Ahhhh, yes, finally these posts all make sense. That’s the answer you’ve been looking for. The other answer you’re looking for is “No, he does not know this blog exists. Yet.”

I say don’t be me, but the best part of being me is that they always find their stories in the end. Let’s just hope he doesn’t strangle me to death when he finds this blog. Lol! It’s not actually funny but really, it kind of is. It’s funny because I’m sexting him to his face and then mocking him behind his back. Just a little parlor trick I picked up in South Dakota. I learned from the best, you know. I’m not proud of it, but I also feel the need to document the fact that this guy is saying this to me just in case I suddenly turn up dead in SEA so you know exactly who to put in jail for murder.

Again, strangulation is not sexy. It’s attempted murder and I’m tired of being told otherwise. You can fuck all the way off with that shit.

Maybe he’ll be like, “Wow. I need to make some real changes in my life. Maybe I should quit Muay Thai and start doing yoga instead. You know, take a vow of non-violence towards others and practice celibacy so I can clear my head of all these dark, murderous fantasies so I can finally experience real pleasure with a human partner I feel deeply connected to.”

We can all dream of a world where men aspire to be better, lol. Too bad we will never live in it. Sigh.

Okay, time to go to bed and try to get some sleep. I’m still settling in so it’s hard. It’s always hard to sleep the first few nights in a new place. No other choice but to turn out the lights and try.