Thursday. Getting better but still not quite there. Woke up before 7am for the second day in a row. Appetite still isn’t quite right, but I’m mostly staying hydrated. Obviously consuming alcohol is not helping the situation at all, but yeah. Just spent more time by the beach. It was about 100F today so I overheated and had to retire to the A/C, which I usually don’t do. I got used to living without A/C in SD, France, and India, so for me it’s a bonus on a particularly difficult day. Otherwise I don’t care to use it constantly.

Definitely stuck in doomscroll mode today. The world is such a terrible, dark place. Ugh. Need to get out of it and focus on getting to Hong Kong in one piece. I will get stuck on this oasis if I don’t move fast, so yeah. Time to prioritize.

Got a bunch of work stuff in my email today. It’s the employee handbook and all that jazz. I was sifting through it all and was like, “Seems pretty straightforward, not sure why people are complaining.” Guess we will find out when we get there, lol.

Sometimes I read complaints in the TEFL community and feel like the only person who appreciates the need for rote memorization when learning languages. Yeah, it’s fucking boring to sit there and do flash cards all day, but it works. I can rattle off 100 Portuguese words right now simply because I played flashcard games whenever I was bored.

I don’t know. I feel like people are just negative about everything now. It’s hard to listen to sometimes.

Otherwise, nothing exciting is happening. I am just the same as I’ve always been. Sitting on the patio, wearing a fabulous dress, having a drink, writing by myself, and enjoying the live music. I could be doing the exact same thing at Bloody Mary’s right now and everyone would be throwing a fucking temper tantrum. It’s ridiculous.

Thank god I self-deported, lol. I was over it!

I know I should actually venture out and do something, but it’s a lot of effort right now. I never got my eSIM working, I don’t have the right ride share app, and I don’t want to go out all alone and be mistaken for a sex worker by some random creep. It’s just too much for me right now. I’m trying to get my head right so I can be ready for my new job that starts in a week! I don’t actually need to justify to anyone why I’m choosing to stay inside the resort. It has nothing to do with the outside world. It has everything to do with the fact that I need this time to myself to get my shit together.

Not really thinking about my ex-boyfriend situation. Honestly, I’m glad he’s gone. I didn’t want to take care of him. I’m tired of taking care of manbabies. I did the rebound thing and went to the club in the sexy dress. I’m over it. I need to focus on my new job now. It’s crazy how much of a distraction I actually let him become. Never again.

Such a depressing world we live in. Going back to doomscrolling now, specifically so I can avoid the male gaze. Speaking of the male gaze, that Sabrina Carpenter album cover definitely reminded me why I am a cat person. Yikes on bikes. It’s like… you can’t really own cats. Cats are the ones who decide they own you. Very inspired to take a photo of myself sitting on a bed from an upward angle, looking down into the camera and glaring at it with pure judgment and disgust exactly the way a cat would, lol.

Now that’s interesting and subversive, lol.