Wednesday. Losing track of the days again. Sometimes everything feels the same…

I’m sitting here with my binder of notes trying to manifest it all into a blog. It’s not working. Perhaps a change of scenery would be beneficial. A private rooftop pool club, perhaps? Sans men, of course, so that I can properly focus on work.

Definitely just fell down a rabbit hole for a little bit, lol. I found a fancy hotel that does a spa membership package that includes pool access, yoga classes, and spa treatments. It’s pricey, but all-inclusive. Something to strive for, I guess. Their yoga classes offerings could be better. If I was smart, I would go over there and offer to trade yoga classes in exchange for this fancy membership package. Too bad I am not very good at this whole business thing.

I still lack the necessary confidence to do just about anything except hide in my apartment and occasionally wander down the street to the bar in search of ridiculous stories. I’ve been back here for a month now and all I’ve done is eat, write in my notebook, and get into trouble with men. This is not a sustainable lifestyle. Get it together, Betsey. I know you got thrown off by the whole Hong Kong situation, but you’re in Bangkok now. It’s a better fit and you can make it work if you try. All you have to do is try…

I’ve gotten all sorts of helpful tips from people I’ve met about working here. It’s much better than reddit or YouTube or Instagram. It’s like… okay, this is a real person sitting in front of me who is doing this and has been doing this for awhile and is actually making it work. What can I learn from them?

So really I am just being lazy and unmotivated, as per usual.

Most of the people I’ve met have been freelancers or teachers. I actually met someone with an American passport who got a corporate job here with a Thai company and has been living here for ten years. He doesn’t even speak that much Thai. They hired him because he speaks all the European languages they don’t speak, lol. He had really good advice as to how to find a job outside of teaching here by leveraging your skillset. He also had tips about the visa process for Americans that other people did not have.

That particular conversation inspired me to get more creative with my job hunt. Just gotta be open and confident and put myself out there in a different way than I’m used to. I might end up pleasantly surprised.

So the theory goes, lol…

I feel like I should try to ply up my French skills a bit more. I am not the best at speaking (yet), but I can read and I can understand spoken French, even if I am a bit out of practice. I can get better if I’m forced to practice. Could be a way into some companies here that would not be directly accessible to me in France or the U.S. They would be more likely to hire me here in Thailand because I’m a Westerner who can talk to other Westerners for them so they don’t have to deal with the Western mindset, according to this guy I talked to the other day. That’s the key skillset to play up here.

Food for thought…

Literally I am just being so lazy right now. I overthink everything. I’m just trying to figure out how to jump the step, you know? I have a vision of myself for how I would like to be, and yet I can’t seem to get there. It’s so frustrating. At least I’m closer to it now than I was at this time last year, or the year before, or the year before that, etc.

I know exactly what I need to do right now, but I am feeling sooooo lazy. It’s because of my moon. I’m supposed to be isolating in the Moon Camp, not working or stressing out, lol. But I am doing both. Also I have a cold from going night swimming, so that is also making me want to stay at home in bed due to lack of energy.

Off now. Need to go motivate myself with yoga or something. Ridiculous…