Friday afternoon. Did not sleep very well last night, so I slept in late this morning.

Now I am at the coffee stand, watching the intersection like I do every day. This is my life now. I live here in Bangkok, Thailand. Crazy how the world works.

This really is the best coffee I’ve ever had. Amazing.

The owner lady and her aunties are snacking and gossiping in Thai. I do not understand any of it. I know, like, three words in Thai. I am one of the lazy ones, it’s true. Somehow it does not seem to matter quite so much.

I went out last night and told the budtender my story about the British Guy, aka one of the Passport Bros. He was horrified. He was like, “Ugh, i hate guys like that. My friends date guys like that all the time and all they do is mistreat them. They don’t know any better.”

Ugh, so that made the whole thing even worse. I wish I could find this woman he is “dating” and tell her to charge him more money for her services. He’s such an asshole and you’re the one stuck cleaning up his skidmarks. Girl, you need to double your price, minimum. You’re cooking, cleaning, and sucking his dick and you’re only charging 10K THB? Girl, no. That’s like $350. That’s not even minimum wage. He’s paying you well below standard market rate and he knows it. Oh, and he is cheating on you with his little American pen pal friend. You deserve better! Ask for more!

At least I finally have a chance to write the words, “He’s a scoundral and a rake!” So that’s a win for me in my book.

I asked him if he was a Caesar or Antony type. He said Antony, and I was like, “That’s the right answer.” And he really is like Mark Antony. He’s just a sloppy old drunk who wanted away all his great leadership potential on liquor and whores. I don’t think you can handle all of this Cleopatra energy over here right now.

Lmfao!

See, I hate him, but he’s also British and a Classics Major, so for me, it’s like… endless jokes. Finally, a chance to use all of my references. I haven’t used them since university. It’s so funny to slip all of these jokes into my writing.

The fact that he does not take me seriously at all just makes me hate him more. And hating him more is fueling some kind of fire within me, even though he has done his best to smother it out. My total disgust with his lack of moral character has turned into some kind of sick fascination right before my very eyes. Like, what is this ridiculous tv show that I am watching right now?

It’s a weird feeling, that is for sure. I definitely feel like I’m living in Star Wars Land. Welcome to Mos Eisley…

I still can’t believe what I just wrote is really happening to me right now. Never a dull moment in my life, that’s for sure.

I’m just sitting here laughing right now. Hahahaha, what is even happening on this trip right now? We just keep moving from one flaming dumpster fire to the next. It’s quite incredible, actually. I really have a talent for stepping into the craziest shit.

It’s too bad he doesn’t read this. Something tells me he would enjoy it. Maybe I have to start charging him money for access to my blog and posts and then he will pay attention to it. Hahahaha.

I suppose I should examine my own lack of moral character for even taking this guy home with me in the first place. I really didn’t know him at all and I was very drunk. He definitely shouldn’t have been taking advantage of me when I was in a state like that, which I think says a lot. Either way, I did consent to what we were doing. Unfortunately, I’m still attracted to him now, though it’s because I’m fascinated by how much disgust I feel for him. I also feel pity. He just seems so pathetic and sad. Why do I get so fascinated with characters like this?

Oh, it’s just another one for the Island of Lost Guys. There’s all sorts of characters inhabiting it now. So many I’ve lost count. Each one stranger than the next. Each one another flaming dumpster fire to put out. Single guys, married guys, guys with “girlfriends they are in the process of breaking up with,” guys who ask me to marry them and then leave me at the altar, guys who beat me up, the Rare Pokemon, and now this disgusting piece of shit Passport Bro who wasted my time and energy for no apparent reason at all.

So fun!

*Andrew pops his head in very suddenly*

“And Andrew, “ he says, “You forgot about Andrew.”

I did. I did forget about Andrew. For one blissful, perfect, beautiful week, I forgot all about Andrew. I was lost in the chaos of the SEA.

Hmm… let’s continue with the “forgetting Andrew exists” theme. I quite like it, even if it does come at the cost of stewing over Mr. Roman Empire over here. Did you know he once translated The Iliad from Latin? Yes, he knows everything and he is not afraid to mansplain all of it to you.

lol, the jokes… they just keep on coming. I need more of this terrible, weird energy to inspire me. Long live the Queen!

I need to venture out of my little bubble now that I’m all settled back in. Maybe try to meet more people who don’t remind me of the kind of characters who hang out at the local cantinas in Star Wars.

Or perhaps not…

Off to get some pad Thai now. Hopefully I will stop thinking about this landmine I just stepped on.

Have a nice day!