Tuesday morning.

Woke up in the middle of the night after a super weird dream. I’m not sure if it was Andrew, the Rare Pokémon, or Merrick who appeared, but it was definitely one of them. I think it was the Rare Pokémon because that was the vibe. He didn’t say anything. He was just there.

I couldn’t go back to sleep afterwards. Ended up sleeping in late because of it. Now I am rained in. Not motivated to do anything. Not even go out to get coffee or food.

Tried to get some admin done this morning. Got my Yoga Alliance stuff taken care of and updated my LinkedIn page. Now I’m trying to deal with my visa and apparently the Indonesia e-visa website just doesn’t work at all. What a shitshow. I can’t get anything on there to load. It’s actually really annoying to try to stay on top of my paperwork like a responsible citizen of the world and be denied the opportunity to do so. Indonesian Immigration is kind of a shitshow. Definitely not my favourite so far. Say what you will about India, but the visa process is so easy. I applied for a one year visa and I got it in three days. Not even. Maybe I’ll just fly back to Goa. It’s not ideal, but at least I won’t have to fuck around with any paperwork there.

Now I’m just sitting here like… meh. The only place I want to go right now is back to bed, lol. But I can’t. I have to eat something before I do anything else.

Feeling very disheartened by the world today. I am so upset about everything going on back home in the States that I threw my Peace Corps application in the trash in protest. I don’t want anything to do with this fascist clown show. There are other ways I can serve my country. I don’t know how because it seems like the darkness is closing in fast, but here we are.

I can’t let it consume me. I have to stand up and fight back. That’s the only thing I know how to do. I have to fight back. It’s in my blood. I can’t succumb to apathy or the desire to hide away in bed.

I’m sure I’ll feel better once I eat something. I don’t know what I want to eat. I don’t even have an appetite right now. I am just so depressed. Maybe I’ll just go get a cheeseburger.

Nothing else to say for now. Just feeling very low.