Tuesday morning. Rain, rain, rain all day, rain all night. I am the Dragon. The Dragon brings the rain. Here is the rain. Here I am.

Taking space from the group. It’s like… now that I’ve seen most of them for who they really are, I don’t even want to be around their energy anymore. Me, me, me. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Over it. It’s infecting my soul. I can’t handle it. I just checked in with my friend to make sure she’s okay and took my space from the group again.

My mind is stewing over a discovery I made while insta-creeping last night. I was going through a certain someone’s profile and found this chick from Verm had appeared there suddenly. It instantly struck me as weird and creepy. Where the fuck did these two meet? That’s weird AF.

Previously, I tried to befriend both this person and her sister, and both of them treated me like shit because that’s what that townie trash does. Both of them were just… ugh. So many times I showed up for them and all they ever did was trash me behind my back.

I tried to imagine a conversation between her and my guy. All I could imagine was him asking her if she knew me and her just ripping me apart like she always has for literally no apparent reason. I wondered to myself how he would react to hearing that. The conclusion I came to based on my personal experience with him was that he probably judged the fuck out of her.

Like, “Now I understand why Betsey tried to move to Thailand and change her name to Liz. The way you talk about her and treat her is just nasty and unnecessary. This is why she talks about South Dakota the way that she does. I’m seeing it now, live in real time. I can’t believe you have the nerve to put ‘The Prettiest Girl in the Whole Room’ on your Instagram profile when the way you treat and talk about others shows how ugly you really are on the inside.”

Seriously, how insecure do you have to be to write that shit in your bio? Wow. Just wow. I can’t believe this is the person who they put on the suicide hotline ads in the vape shop. I was so angry when I saw that.

Gross. Just gross.

Ugh. I’m so grateful every day I got away from that horrible little town and those horrible little people. Ugh. They are seriously the worst.

Anyway, I just sat down and wrote a story about him. I pretended he called me to say, “Don’t change your name. You’re better than that. Don’t hide yourself. Don’t run away from who you are just because these people tried so hard to tear you down and stomp out your fire. You deserve better than that.”

Damn right, I do. Thanks for the energy boost. And for taking me on a very lovely date. I still think about holding your hand all the time, especially when I’m sad. Thank you for making me feel beautiful and special, even if it was only for a very short time. You have no idea how much I needed it after everything I went through while living there.

Yeah, it’s shitty. Whatever. I don’t have to live there anymore. I never have to go back there or see any of those people ever again. Knowing that brings me peace. I really need the peace.

I think the thing that annoys me the most is that all of those people would constantly attack me for writing about Verm and Bloody Mary’s. They would be like, “WhY dOn’T yOu WrItE aBoUt SoMeThInG eLsE?!”

Okay, well, here I am in SEA writing about all the fucked up shit I’m seeing and where are you guys? Oh that’s right, nowhere to be found. Why? Because you don’t actually want to read about the world. You just want to talk shit about people. You want the drama.

You don’t care if people in Indonesia have clean water or safer roads. You don’t care if little girls in Thailand are being forced into sex work or if they abuse the animals in the zoo. You don’t care about immigration fraud schemes in Hong Kong or racism in South Africa. All you care about is your stupid little town and your stupid little drama and tearing down everyone around you with your stupid little ScReEnShOtS. You’re fucking disgusting. And I’m supposed to sit here and ~*LiStEn*~ to you fucking lecture ME?

What a fucking joke.

Get the fuck out.

It makes me so angry whenever I think about that place. I hated it there. I fucking HATED it. Every goddamn minute I spent there, I spent HATING it. I tried so hard to like it. I tried to make friends with these people. I tried to be positive. I went out and talked to everyone I could find. And all I ever received in return was negativity and bad treatment. That’s not a reflection of me. That’s all YOU.

So pissed that I found that. Back off, bitch. Seriously. Ugh.

I’m ready to go back to bed now. Just. Ugh.

This is what happens when you take the time to look at the world upside down. You start to see this shit for how fucked up it is. It’s just… gross.

What I’ve realized in life is that I don’t like actually people.

Change my mind.

Time to go back to class now. Ugh…