Tuesday evening. Chillin’ in my room at the end of a very good day. I am having a very good experience here at the yoga shala in Bali. I love the group of people in my cohort. I cannot state enough what a breath of fresh air it is to be around them after the shitshow of a life I’ve lived.

Re. Fresh. Ing. As. Fuck.

Just sick of the toxicity. I’m over it. I want to be a force of light and love in this shitass world. So grateful to finally find a group of people who feel the exact same way. Some of the things people say here just blow my fucking mind. Inspirational.

My deep philosophical lesson for the day was to make friends with my enemies. Specifically the Skandasana pose. I hate it. My body hates it. I make a crazy face every time I do it because it aggravates the shit out of me. It’s the South Dakota of yoga poses for me. I just hate it.

So obviously I struggled with it a lot today, but my teacher was very patient with me and helped me get my body where it needs to go. She said, “You must make friends with the things you hate. Make this pose your new best friend.“

Obviously I took this as a metaphor for my endless struggle with my experience in South Dakota. I must make that dark, cold, miserable hellscape my best friend. Well, I mean, what do you think Mad Dog, Andrew, and Bloody Mary’s are supposed to be? I did try to make it my best friend, and I did so through the metaphor of this bar and these characters.

I guess I feel like my best friend stabbed me in the back and that’s why I’m so angry. Like, what the fuck, bro? I thought we were friends and you’re gonna do me like this? UGH! Well, I guess I have no choice but to cherish our time together anyway. Ugh, this is so hard. Why is being a good person so hard? Wahhhh.

Okay well at least now I feel like I can build this bridge to my anger and get over it. It’s going to be a process and it’s going to take time, but I will make it happen. That’s what Mad Dog would want, so that’s what Mad Dog gets.

Anyway, update on the British Guy. We have moved past the violent sex conversation and are now having an actual, real conversation. Unexpected twist! This is why I like weird and strange people. The weirder they are on the surface, the more likely it is there’s something interesting going on underneath.

Take Mad Dog for example. Mad Dog was a strange character. Most people who knew him only ever saw him for how he appeared on the surface. They didn’t take the time to really get to know him for who he was. I did and he became my “adopted grandfather” as a result. So I’m just like that with people.

I won’t recount any more of my personal interactions with him now that we have moved past the topic of sexual violence. I still don’t trust him but, again, I’m in Bali and he’s in Bangkok so I think texting is pretty harmless. Let’s just see where it goes.

I will say that he did reveal something very interesting to me, which is the fact that he has a fascination with Americans and American culture. He basically only consumes American media. So here I thought he was just another Passport Bro trying to find a “local girlfriend,” but now I’m learning that he’s already had his share of local girlfriends. Now he’s roped himself an American and because he has a fascination with Americans, he is not quite so eager to let her go.

Now it makes sense!

Okay, I’ll entertain this until it reaches its natural conclusion, whatever that may be. Let’s just see how it goes. I just want to say that I’m not committing to one dish at this all-you-can-eat banquet. I’m just choosing to order this meal again, for now.

Oh, it’s harmless. So I have a little pen pal. So what? He could literally just disappear into the void tomorrow. It’s meaningless. But it’s nice to have someone to write to. I love having pen pals. It’s less lonely, I guess?

Well, good news, we’ve officially moved on to the international politics portion of the conversation. All of my writing energy is going there now, so I’m done with this post.

Oh no, he just told me his life dream is to go to a shitty little dive bar in some podunk town in the middle of nowhere, flyover country, USA. He says he wants to drink a Coors and play pool. Lolololol oh no. Now we know this can never be. Who the fuck even drinks Coors? Like, I don’t always drink cat piss, but when I do, it’s Coors. Gross.

Ugh, now I know why he likes the American Bar. It’s modeled after a shitty little American dive bar. It reminds me very much of both Bloody Mary’s and Cleo’s.

Oh my god, here I thought this guy wanted to strangle me, but now I’ve realized he has an even worse fate for me in mind: dragging me back into the South Dakota dive bar culture I left behind. Oh no. Somehow that’s even worse in my mind.

What shit pile did I step into this time? I don’t even know anymore, lol. Let’s just follow the story and see where it goes.

Have a good evening.

UPDATE: Wait a minute. Wait just a fucking minute. Did this British guy living in SEA just say to me that his life dream is basically to hang out at Bloody Mary’s?

Yeah. Yeah, actually he did. That is literally what he just said to me.

SO WHAT YOU’RE SAYING IS THAT BLOODY MARY’S HAS AN INTERNATIONAL AUDIENCE WAITING TO SEE IT?!

Are you fucking kidding me with this shit right now? Wow, what a way to end this day. Now I’m thinking about that stupid bar with the same dollar signs in my eyes I saw when it first inspired me.

Mad Dog’s ghost is definitely real and he’s definitely haunting me. Holy crap.

I just texted the British Guy and said, “Hey, did I ever tell you that I once wrote a book of short stories about a dive bar in South Dakota? The owner was so mad that he banned me for life…”

Response pending…

A HA! JUST AS I SUSPECTED! He wants to read it now because of course he does. Why wouldn’t he? It’s his life dream to go to a shitty American dive bar in some tiny podunk town in the middle of nowhere and drink Coors and play pool. That’s literally just Bloody Mary’s. And you know what? I can make that dream come true for him.

He says he would love to watch a modern take on Cheers set in South Dakota.

SO THERE! Take that, South Dakota! You really are my best friend, even though deep down I really don’t like you at all. I just can’t quit you because I know the potential is there…

See, here’s the problem right here. South Dakota is just too into itself. They have no ability to see themselves the way us outsiders see them. It’s exotic! Very exotic. They don’t understand why we are fascinated with it because it’s just their normal life. Nothing there is normal to people like me and this guy because we live completely different lives. SD people look at my stories and think, “Why is this crazy bitch so obsessed with us? It’s just a bar!” It’s not about the bar. It’s about the people inside the bar and how exotic they are. They are fascinating to the outsiders they hate so much.

Well, well, well, look who was right again. To my troll, take your shitty comments and shove them up your ass. Next time you look in the mirror, take a moment to appreciate how exotic you are. Someone on the other side of the world dreams of meeting an asshole like you at Bloody Mary’s and challenging you to a game of pool. You. Not me, you. They want to know about you. And I am giving them that opportunity with my writing because you’re too much of an asshole to open your mind up to outsiders who want to get to know you. Now they can because of my stories.

Stay mad, hater.

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.