Friday morning. I missed a whole day yesterday because I was sick with a hangover. Ugh. I felt so terrible. I did nothing all day but be sick. Horrible. Was it worth it? I think not.
Did some more research on Malaysia. Definitely not as chill as Thailand, lol. Definitely a stopover situation for sure. Not sure about committing to a whole month after some of the stories I read on the digital nomad sub on reddit. It wasn’t exactly rated the safest destination for solo female travelers…
Still doing lots of research. Not sure what I’m doing right now.
I got an email the other day from a recruiter for the Peace Corps. I was like, “You guys are still there?” At first I was like… I should meet with them because this is one of my goals in life. Then I was like… but not for this government. Then I woke up today and thought, “I should do it anyway. Vive La Resistance!” So I set up a meeting at 5:30am Bangkok time next week to talk to this recruiter. Let’s see what happens.
I can totally do this. No sweat. I’ve trained for this my whole life. Andrew, prep me. Let’s go. This is your job. Jump on it.
Andrew: Okay, got it. I’m here for you. Let’s start with the hard question: are you willing to shower with a bucket?
Me: Yes I am. I lived at a yoga shala in India for one month last year with very basic facilities. I showered with a slimey bucket every day. I am currently living in an apartment in Thailand where I have to squeegee the floor after every shower. I am also comfortable with a variety of strange bathroom situations, such as holes in the ground, bushes on the side of the road, outdoor shacks, and even compost toilets that look like they are from outer space.
Andrew: [honestly looks impressed] Wow. I wouldn’t have expected that from you.
Me: Why not? I was a Junior Girl Scout. I went to camp. I know how to survive in the wilderness. I just prefer not to. And honestly, who wouldn’t choose a menu of pillows at a luxury hotel over crapping in a hole in the ground? Next question, please.
Andrew: Truth. Um, okay. Are you comfortable being isolated and alone with little-to-no direction or oversight for long periods of time?
Me: Yes, very much so. In fact, I prefer it.
Andrew: Do you get homesick easily?
Me: No. I long for a place I cannot return. My home does not exist anymore. My parents are gone. My family is scattered. I am out here in the world on my own. I am the perfect candidate for overseas service at this point in my life.
Andrew: Can you speak multiple languages?
Me: Yes. French, Spanish, and I taught myself Portuguese during the pandemic. I was starting to learn Hindi and Chinese. Obviously I use Thai in my every day life right now. I feel comfortable picking up any language on a whim.
Andrew: That’s awesome, actually. Good for you. You’ve clearly traveled a lot before. Is there anywhere you want to go in particular?
Me: I’ll go anywhere and and do anything. I’m open. You look at my profile and tell me what you think I would be best at. I have no idea how figure that out for myself. I am open to anything. I would love to go anywhere in Africa, anywhere French-speaking, or an island nation. I’ve always wanted to live on an island.
Andrew: Good answer. What else should I ask?
Me: Do I feel compelled to serve my country at this time when it is in great need? Yes. Do I feel I can make a positive impact abroad with soft power projects focused on service, aid, and goodwill? Yes. Our international reputation is in tatters. We need people out there to make amends with our old friends and reforge our alliances. It’s more important than ever for the next generation to take the reins. I see myself a potential leader for our generation at this difficult time. Let me prove it by giving me the opportunity to lead a service project overseas.
Andrew: These are actually really good answers.
Me: Thank you. I’ve been practicing them since I got laughed at in college by some a-hole study abroad advisor who told me I could never join the Peace Corps because someone like me could never shower with a bucket.
Andrew: Someone actually said that to you?
Me: A lot of people said that to me, actually. South Dakota people are weird. They think if someone likes to wear dresses and high heels, it means they’re incapable of roughing it. What do they know? I never saw any of them go to a yoga shala in India for a month straight.
Andrew: Glad you’re so motivated. Speaking of yoga, is that how you handle difficult and challenging situations?
Me: Yes, very much so. I have experienced struggles in the past with mental health, so I have a very strict yoga practice and self-care routine that I adhere to. This keeps my mind clear during difficult situations. I admit that I have very little experience in leadership or management or making hard decisions for a group that’s relying on me or anything like this, but I know that if I was in that situation, I could get through it.
One last question: who are you loyal to?
Me: I am loyal to the United States Constitution and the Government of the United States of America. I am not beholden to any one person, especially if they think they are above the law, which they are most definitely not. We are all equal citizens under the law.
Andrew: Great answer. A+
Me: It’s the truth. Being from Virginia and growing up outside of DC, I do have a strong sense of pride. I’m realistic about our shortcomings and problems and past failures. But I am still hopeful and optimistic. So yeah, I’m gonna go for it. Why not? They reached out to me. It’s my duty to answer the call.
Andrew: 🙂 🙂 🙂
I feel weirdly confident about this. I never feel confident in anything I do. But I’m just sitting here like… I’m gonna nail this. I’m exactly what they’re looking for. I molded myself this way on purpose. This was always my goal. My goal, not my dad’s goal (writing a book) or my mother’s goal (control) or anyone else’s goal. This is something I’ve always felt called to do. So now I’m gonna try to do it because why not? They reached out to me. They saw that I’ve abandoned my application like 5x now. And they still reached out to me. So, yeah, that’s something I take pretty seriously. That’s god sending me a rescue boat in the flood. I’m not passing it up. I see it for what it is and I’m jumping on that boat.
Wow, so weird. I feel so calm and prepared and ready. No big deal. I got this. I can do anything. No worries!
Okay, I should like, fill out this application and actually finish it for once. It’s because you have to write a bunch of essays and I was never in a place where I could see clearly enough to answer them properly. Now I’ve had this experience over here in SEA so I can understand better what I’m doing. Also I never had the “right” recommendations or experience. I let all those people in 1880 Town put so many doubts in my head. They all told me I could never do it. They didn’t even give me a chance. They just judged me by how I look on the surface and that’s it.
I don’t know. We’ll just see how it goes. I have a couple days to get myself in order for it. I should be fine if I don’t drink, which I have no desire to do after barely surviving yesterday. I’m too old for this shit. It makes me sick every single time. I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t.
Okay, I need to go do other stuff besides write on my blog, like drink water and do yoga and put on a Netflix show in French for background noise while I work. Right now I’m just listening to French hip-hop. Let’s watch Emily in Paris in French for the thousandth time. I actually love the French version more than the English version, I think. I like both but I’m partial to the French because I’ve watched it enough times now that I’m starting to get the French jokes and they’re actually really funny!
I might walk around the corner and get a waffle later. Or just get one delivered. I would say I eat Thai food on an average of every other day right now. I just like to change it up because I get bored. But yeah, I have a standing order of pad thai, fried rice, and spring rolls I’m regularly consuming. I love Thai food. It’s amazing. Rice and noodles forever. <3
Maybe this meeting will help me gain some insight into my next step. I’m just frozen right now. Not sure where to go, what to do, how to move forward. I’m just like… ughhh. Just out here wandering around in my cute little rainbow dress with my pink flower clips in my hair and fake knockoff Hermes sandals and just living life out here in beautiful Thailand.
At least now I feel slightly more motivated than before. How fun will it be to see me land this latest attempt at a swan dive with a belly flop? Hilarious as always, to be sure. At least it gives me stuff to write about, lol…
Off now. Have a lovely day!
UPDATE: Went on the site, looked at the application, and proceeded to meltdown again. Just right off the bat, they’re like, “Show us every single hour of experience you have doing XYZ” and I’m like, I have no experience with any of this. I just feel like if you gave me a chance, I could show you that I’m the right person.
So, yeah, lol, we’ll see. Let’s talk to the human first and see what the situation is and see how desperate they are to hire an imperfect, low-achieving person with no real experience whatsoever. Oh wait a minute, that’s literally everyone in a position of power right now. Lol, I guess I am what they’re looking for after all. That makes me feel so good about myself, lol. Wow.
The bar is in hell.