Friday night. Finally left the haunted tower today in search of snacks and stationary. I ended up wandering right into the Thai equivalent of Walmart, which was a much more calming experience than the Hong Kong IKEA.

Loaded up on snacks and notebooks. Unfortunately, my sorrows gave way to my penchant for retail therapy, so I also stocked up on skincare products that I’ve never seen or tried before. It was all super cheap, so… I’m sure it will be worth it when I’m homeless and looking very young, lol.

My little shopping trip also gave me space from whatever this story is pretending to be. I don’t even know. Every day I write something new, every day it fails the test required by my notes.

Today was, “Of course they can’t get married. That’s why they’re just fucking.” Nope. Cross it out. Throw it in the trash.

This story is… I don’t even know what. Not sounding like anything Netflix would be interested in so far.

Ugh.

Then again, we’re only about a week into it. There’s still time to change everything and turn it completely around. My problem is that I can’t write a romance because I’ve never had a real romance.

What are my relationships like? Well, there’s been a lot of them, that’s for certain. I like to imagine them all characters inhabiting a private tropical island. They’re all very different from each other, yet so much the same, somehow. They kind of remind me of my Pokemon card collection. And yeah, they usually don’t last very long at all.

Some of them were very toxic and abusive. Some of them were 20-30 years older than me. A couple of them were married. Some of them were one night stands. At least one of them was imaginary (Andrew). The most recent one was my ex from the Yoga Shala. So, you know, it’s definitely an interesting hobby of mine to conduct my relationships in this way.

I guess now I’ve met so many men that I’m bored enough to entertain myself with stories about playing Crossfire in bed with a total stranger I met at some sleazy lounge in Dubai, so there’s that. He’s real but there is a ZERO percent chance I will ever see or hear from him again, so now he’s imaginary! I mean, hopefully he doesn’t find me. I definitely told him my name was Liz, lol. I personally have no plans to see him again. I may or may not remember his first name correctly, I definitely don’t know his last name, I don’t have his phone number, I don’t have any social media, I don’t know where he lives, nothing. I know nothing about this person whatsoever.

All I remember is all the weird stuff he said to me that now I can’t get out of my head. It’s just churning in there over and over. Like, why? So now I’m writing a story about it because I need to know more. But I cannot know more, and I will never know more, so I will simply just imagine more.

And somehow this is supposed to be a romance novel? Come on now. That’s just unlikely. This doesn’t even make sense. Just tear it up, throw it away, and start all over again tomorrow. Rejected. Try again.

What else came to me today? An outline for a new book about my crazy adventures without all the trauma dumping and a better plan for this blog that fits in with what I’ve been trying to create for the last few years, but lacked the actual real world experience necessary.

So all in all, very productive day. Getting things done at an excellent pace. Will relocate to Bali next week and see how the writing flows from there. I’ve already located some potential places that are significantly cheaper than what I’m paying right now in Bangkok for the haunted tower, so I think I can manage to camp out there for awhile and get some writing done.

Oh jeez, I need to get off this rooftop fast. The gargoyles have swooped in again to bring down the vibe.

They still think I don’t understand Hindi, lol. I wish I didn’t now…

This is the only problem with Thailand. The Passport Bro vibe is so real. As a solo female traveler, it just gets to feel icky after awhile.

Going to bed now. Grateful I’m getting some writing done, even if the whole job in Hong Kong thing didn’t work out. It’s still upsetting me a lot. Ugh. That’s why I’m trying to take my mind off of it by writing this dumb romance novel that I have to throw in the trash at the end of every day because it makes no sense.

It’s okay. This is just how the process works. Have faith and it will turn into something new and better soon enough…