Monday. Currently sitting on the beach. Finally got a full night of sleep. Slept from 3:30am to noon, so about 8.5 hours. Felt so good to finally get some rest. Maybe I’ll finally start eating right again soon.

I was feeling relaxed and relieved, then I got a message from my ex saying “I’m in the hospital.” And that’s it. Can’t get a hold of his brother-cousin because he blocked me on Instagram and the guy isn’t picking up his phone either. JFC. I can’t even with this anymore.

Unfortunately, unlike him, I am not the kind of person who abandons someone in a foreign country and refuses to communicate. I had a feeling something happened because he contacted me out of the blue at 3:30am on a Saturday night, said he was driving to see me right then, and then never showed up or called me back or answered any texts. Sadly, I was right. I’m guessing he was drunk or on drugs when he got into that car, which is like, again… did you not even read the Wikipedia article about this country before you got on that plane?

So now shit is fucked and I have no idea what’s going on. No information. Can’t enjoy my beach time now because I’m worried about what happened.

Oi vey.

At least I no longer live in a shithole like Verm where every single person in town will be all up in my grill accusing me of “lying and making things up for attention.” What a bunch of morons. Ugh. Truly, the worst people. Sometimes I think my opinion of that place can’t possibly get any lower, but then they do something that is just so absurd that I’m like… wow. You really are determined to drag everyone and everyone around you down into a blackhole of misery. Gross!

At least I’m free of that energy in my life. Let’s be grateful for that much. I never, ever have to go back to that horrible little town ever again. I never have to deal with those small-minded people who find entertainment in their casual cruelty towards others ever again. It’s all over now. It’s finally all over. Forever.

Good news: now I can finally write my books in peace without constantly being harassed by ignorant drunks trying to rope me into whatever their crazy local soap opera drama is today. So disgusting.

I met this person the other day who was like, “I like Americans. They’re very straightforward. They say what they mean. They are very direct. They don’t stab you in the back.” I used to think that too, but then I lived in South Dakota. I guess they’re not real Americans over there because they’re MAGA, therefore they feel no shame in acting like the two-faced, backstabbing snakes they are. That’s why they’re actively destroying our country as we speak. It is what it is.

So many things make more sense now that I’m out of the woods. I can finally see the forest from an overhead drone shot. I’m not fighting my way through the underbrush anymore. Things that didn’t make sense to me before are finally making sense now. It’s all becoming very clear now.

I think the worst part of moving abroad so far is that I still can’t escape Dump. He’s everywhere, all the time. It’s like a cancer that has spread worldwide. It’s scary and insane and sickening, to be completely honest. Human beings might actually just be the worst.

Last night I had to get up and take a walk because some chick behind me who definitely was not American decided to blast one of his TikTok rants at full volume. I turned around, glared at her, said, “Seriously?” I made a big show of covering my ears, but she didn’t turn it off, so I just got up and walked away. I came back and gave her another dirty look, then made sure she heard me speaking loudly to the server with my American accent. Needless to say, she didn’t play any more TikToks after that.

Some statements transcend languages barriers, this much I know for sure.

Like, oh, by the way, I’m still moving to Hong Kong. I keep forgetting. Had a whole plan to sit down and go over everything again, but then Mr. Bollywood Diva showed up again to make everything about himself. I think he might be a narcissist. He’s got all the qualities: intense hatred for himself, low self-esteem, obsession with projecting a certain image of himself, constantly working out, going to the salon once a week, manscaping, sculpting, a beauty routine that takes longer than mine, yeah it’s a whole thing.

And honestly? I have a pretty shitty track record with getting sucked into narcissist’s magnetic fields, so this is pretty on-brand for me. This tracks. I just… ugh. I would very much not like to be in suffocating relationships anymore. I feel like the little face-sucker alien has attached itself to me and refuses to let go. Just suffocating. I don’t want to be your mommy, bro. I just want to be me.

I need to find a man who will just allow me to be me without complaint. Then maybe I will get married, for real. No more telling myself stories or writing down fantasies or whatever. I need real AF.

I think I should go to HK earlier than I planned. Given the weight of the jet lag and its effects on my body and mind, I need to give myself a few more days of space in the city before I just jump right into my new job. Again, new job has a very intense schedule that is about to take over my life. I’m fine with that because I don’t want to think about my life for awhile, but yeah, I need to make some changes to my itinerary. I can’t stuck in this fabulous desert oasis, as much as I would like to.

As I said before, my HK contract is one year. It’s an entry-level position. I complete my year there and I can go anywhere. No problem.

Okay, I have nothing left to say now. I’m just going to go drink more water, lay out in the sun, and check out of reality until someone decides to update me on whatever the hell happened with this guy.