Sunday.
Back at the coffee stand. I can’t believe I just went through that entire ordeal. Ridiculous. I was sick with fear going through the line at immigration, but once they saw my HKID, they pulled me aside and put me in the priority line, lol. Instant Upgrade. All they wanted to see was proof I’m not trying to stay in the Kingdom forever, lol. I’m not trying to do that, as we all know.
It’s been a great vacation. I’ve had a marvelous time. I’ve written a new book. I’ve met so many interesting people. I’ve made some great friends. I hooked up with four guys. It’s been an experience.
Y’all gotta get in on that Buy 3, Get 1 Free deal on farangs, btw. Just saying.
My Hong Kong Housekeeper friend is not here yet. I am trying to manifest her using my psychic powers so I can deliver her the gifts I brought her from Hong Kong. I got her a bunch of tea and some herbs from a random dispensary. I also got her chili sauce, but they took it from me at the airport because it was over the limit for liquids in carry-ons. Lesson learned.
Y’all should have seen me when I got back last night. I ran to the Pot Shop and the American Bar as fast as I could. I’m still moving at Hong Kong speed, lol.
I invited a bunch of people to come to my impromptu Going Away party, but only a few showed up. Instead I was greeted by my Irish’s Guy’s English friend from Newcastle. I cannot remember his name for the life of me. Not that it matters because I would have to change it anyway. Anyway, I don’t know him very well, but I do follow his niece on instagram. She’s a really talented writer and photographer. I love her work. She’s really super chill and down to earth. This guy, however… not so much.
His feathers have been all in a ruffle since I took his friend home from the bar, lol. He was there that night. Something tells me he got in trouble for not babysitting his buddy over there. Someone’s gotta keep that dog from wandering off too far, ya know what I mean? He clearly lost hold of the leash.
I think he’s mad at me for writing about my Irish Guy the way I do. I don’t know why. We have established that the man made a choice. He knew who I was. He knew he was coming home with a writer who was going to use him for inspiration later. I’m the one that got played. He didn’t even tell me he was married. I would have handled him a completely different way if I had known. So, again, how is this on me?
Anyway, I walked in and he just started screaming at me right away. I just stood there and let him get it all out of his system. I am so over being screamed at, lol. You could approach this topic in a much more diplomatic manner, bro.
The speech he gave me went something like, “Blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.”
I’ve heard all of this before. Yawn. Snooze. What is this guy sooooo mad about, anyway? I didn’t even write about him until just now. Maybe he’s mad that he’s not a character? Well, you are now. See? It’s not so bad. Relax. Lighten up a little bit. Have a jolly good laugh to go along with your pint. Enjoy the sideshow for what it is.
Once he was finished yelling at me, I took out my HKID card and waved it in his face.
“Look what I got.”
His jaw dropped to the floor.
“How the FUCK did you get THAT?!” he shouted.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Turns out the South Africans are good for something after all, lol.
I told him that I’m moving to Hong Kong tomorrow (literally) and I’ll be out of his hair forever now. I am officially no longer your problem anymore. That’s right. No more stories about my crazy adventures at the American Bar. It was fun while it lasted, but it’s time to go back to the real world now.
Anyway, that news seemed to calm whatever fire he had raging inside of him, for now. He left me alone after that so I could just chill with all of my friends. I don’t think he’ll ever admit it, but somewhere deep down, I really think he appreciated my joke about rugby being better than porn. It really is. Yeah, it definitely is.
My friend who went to Syria and drinks too much whiskey showed up. I was so happy to see him. I gave him a big hug. I was like, “I knew you’d come back to say goodbye to me!” We resolved our disagreement and reunited as a team on behalf of the Foreign Press Corps. You know, us “journos” have to stick together. We’re on our own out here.
So many others were there too. My Aussie friend who rescued me from the Scottish guy. My friend from Oklahoma who tells some of the best stories. My friend who taught at an International School in Dubai.
And, of course, I got to see Old Man Wiley. He is going to be making his journey across the rainbow bridge any day now. I was so happy I could come back and see him one last time. The outfit he chose for the occasion was reminiscent of his old school boy days when he set off on his own with just a backpack and a dream to see the world. I gave him a big hug as he walked out the door and wished him well on his journey. I said a prayer for him in Lakota and he smiled at me like he was finally, truly at peace.
In death, there is life, and in life, there is rebirth. There is no word for goodbye in Lakota. We only say, “See you later!”
It’s always so hard to let someone go, but it is the natural way of things. I will always remember my time here in Bangkok with fondness. It’s a special place to me. It brought me back to life and inspired me when I truly felt like I was never going to write anything ever again.
I am feeling very emotional now. I need to take a break and have a cigarette. My Auntie has not shown up yet today. I will ask the owner of the coffee stand how to find her so I can deliver her package from Hong Kong. Think of it as a gift straight from the city saying, “Thank you for 30 years of dedicated service to Hong Kong. Now it’s your turn to relax and let someone else take care of you.”
Oh, that’s what I forgot to do. I did not make her a card. I always make people name cards. I like doing calligraphy. It’s my thing. One of my goals for living in HK is to take a calligraphy class so I can learn the Chinese characters.
Oh my gosh. I can’t believe it. I am moving back to Hong Kong tomorrow. I got a plane ticket, a temporary apartment, and a fresh new outlook on life. I am ready. I’ve never been more ready for anything in my entire life.
Let’s Goa!