Saturday night.

Here I am at the American Bar all alone, minding my own damn business, watching rugby and loving every minute of it even though I have no idea what the hell is going on.

Also, there is no one else here except Old Man Wiley, who is way too drunk for me to handle right now. I am in a weird mood and I just want to be left alone to watch hot beefcakes run around in tiny shorts.

I can’t believe it’s time for my visa run. That is crazy. What the hell even happened in the last two months? That was crazy. Like, wow, what the hell even was that?

I decided to go back to Hong Kong to resolve my karma there. Just go for a couple of days and see how it feels. Keep my apartment here. Come back for Thanksgiving. Maybe move at the beginning of the month. I don’t know.

I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, lol.

I’m watching hot beefcakes in tiny shorts pile onto each other. It’s amazing. So much better than talking about Afghanistan or watching bar fights unfold.

I have exactly zero energy to do this. Should be a good time. Let’s see how it goes. Hong Kong should sober me up pretty fast, haha.

All I know is that I have a new dream now, which is to become an Irish rugby WAG. You cannot change my mind. I am set on this. And to think I almost gave this up so I could marry someone who plays cricket. Rugby is much more exciting. I mean, have you seen those shorts?

Hey, whoever is reading this right now, tell your friend Mr. Hot Beef Stew I said thank you, and that everything is cool between us, even though it’s totally not cool that he lied to get into my pants. This experience has been transformative. Thank you.

Wow, this game is great. Some guy just pulled down another guy’s shorts and you could see the full moon. Wow, that would never fly on TV in the U.S. This is amazing. Totally was not expecting to score this kind of goal while watching this game.

I do feel better now. I wasn’t feeling great earlier because I tried to call The Publisher and he was shitfaced. Like, just beyond. He was saying he loved me and wanted me to come home and asking me why we aren’t still together. The answer is because you’re a drunk, Paul. You’re a sloppy fucking drunk and it’s bad for me. I can’t be with someone like that.

I told him to go to rehab and hung up the phone. I was so pissed off. He’s not present in the way I need him to be. He hasn’t been for a long time. Maybe he never really was.

For those who may be unfamiliar with this character, he is a New York Times bestselling author and the owner of the shitty restaurant I was bartending at when he discovered me and rescued me from obscurity. We tried to have a relationship, but he loves bourbon more than anything else. He is also a workaholic. I could not compete with either of those two things, so I broke it off. We remain friends, but again, his one true love in life is bourbon. It is what it is.

I was hoping that he would help me get my writing organized, but he is basically useless on that front. He was a good mentor for a time, but that time has long passed now. I must make my way without him.

Yes, it’s true, I’ve had many lovers and boyfriends in my day. I like men. I like variety. I haven’t met one yet who has proven himself worthy of anything more than a few pages in a book. It is what it is.

Wow, the Welsh really go hard with that whole “Release the Dragon” thing, huh? Love that for them. Love the never-ending sea of beef steaks even more. What a great sport. Why the hell was I so hung up on basketball for so long when rugby exists? I don’t have to care about the rules or understand what’s going on. I know what’s going on. Hot beefcakes, tiny shorts. So great. There’s definitely some paper-baggers on this team for sure though, lmfao.

Wait a minute, so confused. Why are they doing a random dance in the middle of the field? What is this? There’s no sound so I have no way of knowing what’s going on. Is that just like, a Welsh thing, or does everyone do that before a game?

I have no idea what’s going on right now, lol. I’m having a great time, though. It’s a good thing I’m not that invested because the game just started and I want to go home. I’m really tired and I don’t feel well.

I’m so glad there’s no lads in this bar right now. This is a lot of male energy for me. I can’t handle it. I have zero energy. I need to go home and go to bed.

That’s what I’m going to do now. Have a good night. It’s already tomorrow in Hong Kong…