Thursday night.

Sitting at home because there was a big storm earlier. Waiting on a delivery. Trying to get the TV to work but it’s wonky after the storm. Life is not very exciting. I guess I prefer it that way after all this time.

I’m not interested in men or bars anymore. Give me yoga and writing instead. I just want to stay at home and drink pineapple juice mixed with coconut water and eat Mexican comfort food and watch Netflix and cuddle up in my blanket.

I need to get my shit together. I completed wasted my whole day. I can’t be acting like that anymore. I am here to work and get my shit together and be a professional. I am not here to fuck around and fall down a rabbit hole on some silly side quest.

We all have days where we just get lost, right? Right. I feel like I just got overwhelmed by everything today. So ridiculous. I have to focus. I can’t be wasting time like that.

This is a journey. We are on it together. What am I doing? I have no idea. I only have some vague semblance of a plan.

Currently watching the new Victoria Beckham documentary. I am definitely a Posh Spice kinda gal. I’m also obsessed with all things British. Therefore, it is only natural for me to obsess over a British person. I thought it was best to channel that obsessive energy back into British TV instead of thinking about someone who is gone from my life forever now.

I wish that I did not develop fixations this way, but I’ve learned how to manage them now. Obviously I do not allow it to consume my whole life. That is what the Island of Lost Guys is for. Pull out the jokes when I need them for my writing, leave the guys on the island the rest of the time. It works for me.

I mean, really, it doesn’t, but hey, whatever.

I’d rather be at home eating right now than out at a bar allowing my hair to become saturated with cigarette smoke. Ugh, I’m so sick of men. I just want to find one and be done. No more adventures. I’m sick of adventures. They always end so unpleasantly and usually far too soon.

Ugh, I’m in a food coma now. Time to pass out on the couch like the lazy old person I am. No, I’m not hitting Bangkok’s hottest clubs. I’m smoking on the rooftop and ordering delivery and passing out on the couch while watching Netflix. Hashtag Adulting, lol.

Off now. Have a good night.