Saturday night. Here we are, back at the scene of the crime.

Part of me is hoping Antony never shows back up here ever again, and the other half of me just wants to throw a drink in his face. I am trying not to think about it. I spent the majority of my day updating my CV and looking for new jobs. I am only thinking of him right now because I’m back at this bar writing.

I like this one. It reminds me of Bloody Mary’s, but the bartenders aren’t assholes and the owner isn’t constantly trying to kick me out for writing in my notebook. Just a nice little slice of home, or whatever it is home has come to feel like to me.

Some random American guy just came over and started chatting with me. He was just in Shanghai. So gorgeous. I would love to go there. I’ve thought about looking for a job there. I keep hearing all the money is in China…

Otherwise he was pretty boring. I think he said he was married to a Brazilian woman for the papers and healthcare. Taking the term Passport Bro to a new level over here.

Always fun to see how people choose to marry and establish relationships in the expat community. So many times it comes down to practicalities in administrative paperwork. I’m definitely learning not to let the idea of blind lust lead me astray over here.

I’m explaining to this random guy that I am a writer who is writing stories about the people and situations I encounter here in SEA. The one bartender lady is so ready to spill the tea on Antony. She said he always comes here alone and he is a frequent customer. She doesn’t know if he has a girlfriend. She just knows he comes here alone.

That’s all she knows. Hmm.

Well, whatever this is, this is definitely his escape from his regular, every day world. Noted!

We’ll see if he resurfaces or not.

Anyway, I need to focus on making some money. Doing this whole career thing. This is why I came here. Not to mess around with fuckboys in Thailand.

I just have a tendency to get fixated on certain “characters.” That is all. it will pass, as it always does. This much I have learned with time.

This guy can’t handle me anyway. My Old Irish Uncle is correct. I am a woman. I am experienced in the ways of the world. I am not just some silly girl he can pay to keep his bed warm at night. I am a real lady!

I just ordered a plate of Mexican food to comfort me through this difficult time. It is my favourite of all the foods in the world. Also my favourite memory of a man thus far. I also met him right here at this bar. It was a good experience. I hope he’s doing well wherever he is right now. I think upon him very kindly, especially in light of this latest flaming dumpster fire of a “romance.”

Eat Pray Love Adventure? Definitely Eating a lot, Praying a lot, and Loving… in my own unique way. If only I could be loved back for once. That might be… nice, for a change.

I’m definitely ready to go home now that it’s 10:30pm. I don’t want to deal with people anymore. I just want to go to sleep in my comfy hotel bed with my mountain of pillows and worry about sending my resume out tomorrow.

Instead I have chosen to sit here at my little Star Wars cantina and watch the world pass me by… such is the Thai way.

I am not so worried about the British Guy. Let’s just use this one as my submission for the Halloween Scary Short Story Contest and be done with it. Perfect solution, just in time for Halloween, love it, thanks for that.

Still need to get my nails done. Perhaps that will make me feel better after this ridiculous week. I don’t think anything could. I am just sitting here thinking to myself how many absurd stories I have already collected in my life, and now this one…

What is that?

That is what happens when you intentionally walk through the world looking for ridiculous stories and stumble upon them randomly in weird little dive bars in Thailand that remind you of the cantina from Star Wars.

Speaking of strange characters from the bar, I just had a drunk Canadian Lumberjack hit me up. He is a Canadian MAGA. A strange breed to be sure. He says they need to overthrow the Crown. I’m like… wow… way to be 400 years too late. And you’re finally getting off your ass and doing to for this guy? Wow, just wow.

He also said he thinks America should be in charge of Canada. I’m like… dude, we can barely take care of ourselves. We don’t want to deal with your problems too.

He just asked me if I want to go away with him to an island somewhere. I hear this line quite frequently here in Thailand. The answer is mostly definitely no, I do not want to go anywhere with you, bro.

Then he called me a Square. How offensive! I am most definitely NOT a Square. I listen to jazz music and smoke reefers with the band out back behind the bar after the show. I am the literal opposite of a “square.”

The American rescued me from him, but only to mansplain history to me from his very American perspective. It’s boring. This is why I liked the Roman Empire Guy. He was so annoying and pretentious and pedantic. Too bad I’m not his type. I’m not half his age and charging him money to suck his dick.

Hahahaha

Asshole.

I feel like the Queen at Court. Just watching all these men jump so desperately to entertain me. Yet none of them do. I care only for the ones I cannot have, the ones who escape my trap. The ones I can turn into caricatures for my own selfish entertainment.

This random chick just told me I look “very at work right now.” That’s because I am. I’m just here to watch the show.

A new Krewe of men just waltzed in. All of them look puffy and strung out. So not into it. I think I know one of them, actually. He looks familiar. I think he might be a friend of the Rare Pokemon. I use the term “friend” very loosely, of course.

Should I stay for one more? No, I don’t think so. I am too tired. I just want to go home. Better get out of here before this lumberjack tries to chop down my tree.

So not into it.

And here he says I can just take home anybody from the bar.

Lol, no, honey.

Just… no.