Friday night.

Sitting in a random Thai cafe alone waiting for dinner. Finally willed myself to get up and go out after feeling semi-depressed today. At least the food in Thailand is always worth it, even if the male company leaves much to be desired.

Ugh, I can’t believe that happened. That was a doozy. Oof. Not good. I make bad choices in men. Always. It is what it is.

Time to take the weekend to get over it and focus on the whole not being broke, unemployed, and homeless thing. Easy to wander off into fantasy land when reality is not so great.

I decided I will name this one Antony, like Mark Antony, because that’s definitely who he is. I gotta make myself feel better about this ridiculous situation somehow. He is objectively not a good person for various reasons, and yet I was dumb enough to pull him out of a bar after less than an hour of conversation.

What is wrong with me? Why am I like this?

Something, something, daddy issues? I don’t know.

All I know is that I got really excited deep down inside when he said he done a translation of the Iliad from Latin. That’s it. That’s all it took. He just said a bunch of things about Ancient Rome and I just hopped right into bed with him. And now I am finding out what kind of monster I slept with under the cover of darkness. Turns out it’s a monster that eats little Thai girls.

What a metaphor.

I should definitely stop hanging out at scummy dive bars if I don’t want to meet guys like this. How awful. What a nightmare of a situation. I can’t even believe this disaster is real. What is even happening on this trip right now? I’m stepping on land mines everywhere I go.

Well, I’m definitely not in the mood to go out tonight after what happened. I’m going to need a minute to process what just happened. That was like a slap in the face. Just another failure to add to the list…

I definitely don’t feel like going out at all. Back home I go with my takeaway in tow. I wish I could forget that just happened. Unfortunately, I know myself, and I know I will be stewing over it for some time. I always am wasting too much time on the Island of Lost Guys…