Tuesday night, Wednesday morning.

What the fuck even was that?

I don’t even know what I just experienced here in Bangkok tonight. All I know is that it was ridiculous.

How do I recount this?

Hmm…

Okay, let me just start by saying this is how I learned my lesson not to fuck with Shenzhen guys. They’re just distractions and fuckboys.

Second, I don’t even know. Okay. Where do I even start with this fucking mess?

So I went to the American Bar. He showed up and immediately got called out by my old Irish family. All night, everyone was just rising up against him and defeating his rule. Later he said to me, “All of these IRA guys being here makes me nervous.”

I just said, “That’s not a problem for me.”

lol

Anyway, so then it was his turn to play the DJ and he put on a K-POP song from some random girl group. My old Irish uncle immediately called him out like, “Why are you looking at all these teenage girl legs? Betsey, don’t mess with this guy! He’s a predator!”

I just sat there in disbelief like… wow… I’m really not going to get laid tonight, am I? Then once I had accepted it, I just sat back and watched the show. It was like a United Nations meeting gone wrong. Everyone was arguing about World War II and screaming at each other, calling each other Nazis. It was a mess. I just sat there watching the whole thing in total disbelief, like… wow… I’m really not getting laid tonight.

Incredible.

Could this date possibly get any worse?

Oh yes. Yes it can.

Please do, go on…

So then my old Irish uncle played an old video of Shirley Temple, which was probably one of the creepiest, weirdest things I’ve ever seen. Meanwhile, my Uncle was accusing the British Guy of being a predator. British Guy was just sitting there with his head in his hands like, “Oh my god, what is even happening right now?”

My old Irish Uncle then played the I Am Woman song, and gave the British Guy an epic speech about how I am a real woman who needs to be treated with respect and he is just a fuckboy who only messes around with little girls. He kept saying, “Don’t date this guy, Betsey. I don’t know him in real life, but I do know him from here. He’s a chauvinist prick. You’re too good for him.”

I just sat there watching this whole thing unfold in front of me live in silent horror like, “I thought I was signing up for Bridgerton, not the Jack the Ripper Prime Time Special.”

So then the British Guy finally admitted to it: “I have a girlfriend,” he said, “She’s a 25-year-old Thai girl who I pay to fuck me.”

Great. Just fucking great.

I continued watching the remains of my latest manuscript go up in flames before my eyes as he continued talking at me for some time. At one point, he basically just started arguing with himself. I was a silent witness to the entire thing.

As I stood there watching him justify his gross, predatory behavior to himself, I couldn’t help but wonder how I got myself into another one of these epic messes.

Somehow, he still managed to follow me back to my apartment like the lost little dog he was. He came in for the tour and immediately started taunting, “Oh I see you now, you’re a rich girl, rich girl, rich girl.”

If by that you mean I don’t need you to pay me a monthly allowance to suck your dick, then sure. Call me whatever you want. You literally know nothing about my life.

Anyway, clearly I was too much woman for him to handle, so he departed to head home to his local live-in maid service. I walked him out and thought to myself, “Wow, what the fuck was that?!”

I can’t believe I just went through all of that and I didn’t get laid. That’s absurd. That’s just totally and completely absurd.

That has to have been the worst date of my entire life. All prior bad dates are canceled. This one is the one that took the cake. It’s over. It’s done. Goodbye.

And as I sit here alone at the end of another ridiculous evening in SEA, all I can think to myself is, “Wow, what was that?”

Meanwhile the echo of the Old Hong Kong song drifts through the airy space of the loft, the lovely voice chanting eerily…

Kowloon, Kowloon, Hong Kong

I like Hong Kong

That’s the place for you…