Sunday morning. Sitting here in my loft having my breakfast alone. Again. Someone (aka myself) is very irritated right now, as you can probably imagine.

I don’t know where this guy is. Playing some bizarre power game with me, no doubt. I’m just sitting here trying to calculate how likely it is I’ll meet a different hot guy to bang if I just forget about the British Guy and go to the American Bar by myself tonight. There’s just no way of telling. They could pop up in the wild at any time.

It’s the part where I have to put in more work that bothers me. I don’t want to do this. I’m tired of this. Like, we are adults. We don’t need these silly little games. Just come over and bang me. It’s not that hard.

This is just ridiculous.

Anyway, I have brain fog right now from allowing this jerk to dickmatize me over the course of a weekend. I need to be thinking about other things, like finding work and getting paid money so I can continue living my very extravagant lifestyle over here in SEA.

Maybe the next guy will pay my rent so I can just write my books in peace. I should make that the qualifier instead of messing with these random guys from the bar who disappear suddenly on me.

I can’t escape the feeling that he’s playing a game with me. I don’t like it, but at least it’s entertaining? Maybe. I am not so amused at the moment. I guess it’s just something to do with my infinite amount of free time…

To be fair, I did surprise him by coming here and catch him completely off-guard. Well, this was a surprise to me too. One minute I was in Bali, the next minute I was in Malaysia, and now I’m back here in Thailand again. I wasn’t expecting this. I was going to stay in KL until I saw the cockroaches. And now, instead, I’m here… so, yeah.

Surprise!

I did say I was going to surprise him, did I not? I did. I got him. That’s why he’s not here right now. He needs time to prepare for me. You know, catch up on rest, get an extra workout in, maybe even drink some fresh pineapple juice. At least, that’s what any sensible man in his position would do. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. You gotta train up first if you want to go the distance, lol.

The only problem is that now that I actually have time to think about him, I’m thinking about him. How do I even explain this guy now that I have been talking to him for a month now?

So the part where we met at the bar is kind of blurry. I was pretty drunk, tbh. I don’t exactly remember all of it, but I’m guessing by the content of some of these text messages that he said something intelligent and I was very impressed by that. I think I said something like, “Oh, finally, someone who isn’t a complete idiot,” and just sat right down next to him.

I don’t think we talked for very long. Long enough to establish that he had lived in Shenzhen and I had lived in Hong Kong.

I think I said, “I’ve always wanted to bang a British guy.”

And he said, “I’ve always wanted to shag an American.”

I said, “Do you want to go bang right now?”

And he was like, “Yeah.”

So we went back to my apartment and banged all night long and then again in the morning. Then I left to go to Bali for the yoga teacher training course and didn’t see him before I left.

Obviously I didn’t think I would see him again, but he was texting me while I was at the yoga shala. He was being very bad. I was supposed to be celibate and detoxing from my devices alone in the darkness of my meditation cave. Instead he was writing to me in ways that were definitely against the rules, lol. And writing many other things, as well.

It’s the other things part that intrigued me. He’s definitely not an idiot. I’m not sure I quite agree with his very obvious colonizer viewpoint on the world, but he does know his references. He also apparently knows how to simply argue for fun, which is not something I’m used to. I like that.

Hmm, what else? Oh yes, I’ve already put him in a Bloody Mary’s story. He said his wish is to go to a shitty American dive bar somewhere in the Midwest. Ask and you shall receive! So, that was hilarious. He did like my story. He hasn’t read any of the other posts about himself, though, which is probably a good thing.

Then… well, we haven’t really talked much in the last few weeks. I’ve been busy, obviously. Now I have appeared here in Bangkok again and completely surprised him. He claims to be bedridden with some terrible fever, but I wonder if he’s actually being honest with me.

So, yeah, that’s everything. Now we are all caught up to speed. I guess I wasn’t sure if I actually wanted to see him again or if I was just bored. I suppose it’s a bit of both. And obviously, if I had seen him, I would have shown him some very lovely hospitality regardless of some of his weirder opinions. That’s just the kind of lady I am.

At the bare minimum, I would definitely bang him again. I don’t really know what else to make of it. I’d rather not think too deeply about it. I’d rather just bang him until one of us runs out of energy. That’s really my only priority right now when it comes to men. I don’t really expect much else from them, honestly. Getting them this far is challenge enough. I mean, Jesus, look at how much effort it takes just to get one guy back into bed.

The plan is that I have no plan. My plan is to bang this guy again and then what? I don’t know, bang him again? You’re asking too many questions. Enough with the questions. The answer to your question is that he does Muay Thai. He’s a hottie with a body, and allegedly a brain as well. It’s really not that deep. Just let me have some fun for once in my ridiculous life.

I’m sure he’ll really enjoy reading this if he ever comes wandering over looking for his essence stuck between the pages again. Haha, that’s a good one. See? And he inspires me to write simply with the power of being British, lol.

lol, British jokes for days. This man needs to get it together and get back over here. I’m trying to write a romance novel. I need him to inspire me with his weird little Britishisms that make me laugh.

Okay, time to take a poll: What is happening with this guy?

A. He’s ghosting me because he found a local girlfriend who he only has to pay 12K Baht per month. What a relief! The last one was demanding 20K! That is simply outrageous and unreasonable. Even the price of foreign girlfriends is skyrocketing in this economy. What’s next?! A tax on tea?! Madness!

B. He’s training for the marathon (aka sex with me).

C. He’s playing some weird psychological cat-and-mouse game in order to establish dominance in the power dynamic.

D. He’s totally freaked out by the combination of my very direct, straightforward approach to sex and the roller-coaster ride of the strong whirlwind of emotional energy that comes with it.

Hmmm… gee, I wonder… where could he be? Lol.

Okay, I’ve thought about this quite enough for one day. I need to do more important things, like go to the Lotus. Forget this guy. I’m working too hard over here. I need to just relax and let it go, or whatever it is they say at the yoga shala.

Yes, definitely need a significant distraction today. The Lotus is perfect for that. I can get lost in there for hours. No need to rush.

Off to do yoga now and try to clear my mind of Mr. London Fog over here.

Hahahahaha he just makes me laugh. It’s silly. It’s just… there’s so many jokes. It’s like I’ve been holding these in my whole life, just waiting for the right moment to unleash them all. Yes, we are here for the British Invasion!

😅😂🤣