Monday afternoon. What a day! We started off strong and then tapered off at the end. Allow me to explain…

I did not have another nightmare last night, so I woke up ready to fly. I came straight out my cave, turned and looked at the imaginary figure of Andrew standing outside waiting for me, turned my head, and just fucking smoked him. Breath of Fire, mothafuckaaa!

Appropriate gif is appropriate:

Tee hee hee. 🙂 🙂 🙂

You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Girl

ANYWAY, so I took care of that problem, and walked into my Aerial Yoga class ready to fly! And then I fucking did. I climbed right up there on those silks, spread my wings wide, and flew away into the sky like the magnificent, powerful, beautiful dragon I am.

As tempting as it is to post pics, I would rather not give away my exact location on my blog, so you’ll just have to out yourself and follow me publicly on my private Instagram account if you want to see them.

So there we were, flying, and then disaster struck. One of the silks snapped and a student fell to the floor. I’m happy to report she was not seriously injured, but she has been taken to the hospital just to make sure everything is okay. Needless to say, everyone was incredibly spooked, so we ended class for the entire day while the studio owner called in the repair guys to check all of the equipment.

I immediately switched from student mode to teacher mode and walked around making sure everyone was okay. I also called in flowers to be delivered for the student ASAP, just because that’s what you do when people go to the hospital. I made her a little card and left it on her dorm room door. She is my next door neighbor. Our downstairs neighbor went with her to the hospital, so I decided to stay here for the rest of the afternoon so I can be here for them when they get back.

I was very frustrated when checking on some of the other students because several of them said to me, “Don’t worry about her. She’s fine. Take care of yourself first.”

Just, like… Wow. I wish you could hear yourselves right now. You sound like a bunch of self-centered assholes. How can you say that when another student has been taken to the hospital? Ugh. Some people’s children. So ridiculous. Like I said in some of my previous posts, some people in the yoga community just don’t understand anything outside of themselves. It’s gross. I saw it again today and it left a very bad taste in my mouth. I just don’t know how you can watch someone get injured and your first thought is, “Me me me me me.”

And people say I’m the one who makes everything about me. Lol. What a fucking joke. Just absurd.

Anyway, she was in my Yin section, so I’ve been in class with her and one other student this whole time. We both checked in with each other after I made sure everyone else was okay. She was okay, I was okay. A little shaken up, but okay. I mean… yeah… of course I was scared! I just had a big moment earlier this morning with overcoming all of my bullshit to actually do the Aerial and then… pow. But still, it’s not really about me. I’m more worried about the student who is sitting in the hospital right now. That’s just who I am. I’ll be okay. It’s more important to hold space for her right now.

So everyone reading send her good vibes and say, “Get well soon!”

Thank you!

Meanwhile, I checked in with how the “sacred cacao ceremony” went last night. They said it was like sitting around a campfire chanting in Sanskrit and then taking a shot of cold liquid chocolate. LOL, like, I’m sorry, but what the fuck? You paid money for that shit? What even is that supposed to be? LOL!

Mmm… yeahhhh, I didn’t even try to hide the look on my face. I just rolled my eyes and said, “Yeahhh, I definitely prefer the Afrobeats cafe.” Good choices were made, good choices were made. But hey, if that’s what makes you feel better about life, go for it. I’m just not sure it’s as magical as they say it is, because the people who went to it were the same people who said, “Take care of yourself first.”

Sooooo yeahhhh. It is what it is, I guess.

Luckily, we had some new people join us today for the Aerial training. One of them is a black South African woman who has been living in the Middle East. Finally, someone who gets my vibe. I told her about the shitshow I witnessed in Hong Kong and she was like, “OMG finally someone who gets me!”

Let me tell you how amazing it was to talk shit about the white South Africans with someone who actually knows firsthand how fucked up shit is over there. It was so cathartic! Thank you, Lord Ganesha! I feel so much better about that entire experience now that they’ve all been exposed. What a relief!

She also told me a lot of stories about living in various places in the Middle East. She had a lot of useful information and good tips. It’s really refreshing to meet someone who is actually open-minded about the Middle East. So many people just jump straight into racism and fear-mongering and Islamophobia. You can’t even have a normal conversation about it.

You wouldn’t even believe the number of people I’ve met this summer who hear the name “Dubai” and immediately start ranting about human trafficking and poop parties. It’s absurd, honestly. I promise you, it’s not that bad. I actually met a pimp and his harem and I still didn’t encounter any of the crazy shit I’ve seen on reddit.

Just be smart, be safe, don’t get on the boat, and don’t be the type of person who is willing to sell your soul for a pair of Louboutins and a new set of fake plastic tits. It’s not actually that hard.

Sometimes I hear the fear-mongering and I’m like, “Literally, just like, chill the fuck out, okay? Relax. Not everywhere is Afghanistan, okay? Stop lumping all of these people in together. Not everywhere is the same.”

She says as she makes rampant but accurate generalizations about the people in SoDak based on her personal life experiences. I mean, yeah, you know, not everyone is like that, but I have yet to meet anyone from there who isn’t a two-faced, backstabbing, passive-aggressive, shit-talking snake.

I have, however, met a lot of very relaxed, very chill Middle Eastern people of various faiths and ethnicities throughout the course of my life. BTW, I actually lived pretty close to the Pentagon on 9/11. I was there. I saw the actual ruins of the building in person the next day. I still don’t hate Muslims or Arabs or the Middle East in general. I don’t even hate Persians, but I very easily could if I was the type of person who hated an entire group of people based on the shitty behavior of one single individual. And I don’t watch any of that crazy conspiracy theory shit on YouTube either. Ugh, talk about fucking brain rot. Gross.

One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just isn’t the same…

Anyway, I’m just sitting here alone in the dining hall now, watching the rain fall. I have a bit of a headache from hanging upside down so much earlier. The other Yin student is coming back over soon to work on our written final exam. Well, maybe. It just started pouring rain so I wouldn’t be surprised if she decides to stay in bed. I’m about ready to retire to my cave myself after the day I’ve had.

Oh, haha, I just checked my phone and she’s not coming. We also just got an update on the injured student and her x-ray results showed no serious damage. She’s going to be okay!

Woo! Now I can go to my cave and relax! Yay!

It’s nap time now. This dragon is very tired. Just call me… Flying Dragon Yoga Barbie. 😀 😀 😀

Off now! Have a fabulous day!

When there’s a smile in your heart
There’s no better time to start
Think of all the joy you’ll find
When you leave the world behind
And bid your cares good-bye!

You can fly, you can fly, you can fly, you can fly, you can fly!
You can fly, you can fly, you can fly!