Saturday morning. Sitting in the park. Watching the neighborhood come alive. People always stare at me when I walk by. I can’t tell if it’s looking just to look, or if they’re trying to figure out who is running the Airbnb in the condo so they can report him to the board, lol. You can never really be sure when you take the risk of staying in an Airbnb.

I usually don’t use Airbnb, btw. Mostly because the other times I used it before, I had this exact specific issue with condo boards threatening the owners over running illegal Airbnbs out of their units. And listen, I hear them. It’s a security issue. You pay to live in a certain neighborhood because it’s safe and there are good schools and you know all your neighbors, then all of a sudden there’s a circus of strangers parading through at all hours, coming and going, being loud, partying, bringing more strangers in and out. It’s a problem. I get it.

I’m speculating right now because I ran into a lady who was giving the “Neighborhood Watch” vibe. Not like a security guard. Like one of these ladies who makes it her business to know all the business going down in the neighborhood. How do I explain? Let me use an example.

When I stayed with my aunt and uncle in NYC, we went down to their beach condo in Florida for a week. My aunt was the HOA President so she had all the dirt on everybody and everything. I was living for it.

She got her information from an older lady who made sleuthing for their condo rentals on Airbnb her full-time job. I watched both of them confront three women in their early 20’s with babies at the pool who did not live there and kick them out. Then they demanded to know the unit they were staying in so they could kick out the guy. It was some real Baby Boomer Karen shit, ya’ll. I was honestly embarrassed to even be standing there in that moment.

So I don’t know how strict Bangkok is about Airbnb or whether HOA’s are a thing here, but I do know a busybody part-time sleuth neighborhood watch lady when I see one, and I think I saw one today, so…

That’s why I’m very quiet, keep to myself, and don’t use the pool, lol. I just hope my host doesn’t get in trouble because I am the type of person who attracts lots of attention wherever I go, usually without intending to.

At least the baristas at my new cafe are super chill. They know me now. They approve of my choice in snacks and even recommended some different ones. I’m obsessed with the taro chips. Oh my god! Taro chips are my new favourite thing. I don’t even know what taro is. I just know that they put that shit in everything over here. Love it. Obsessed.

Uh oh, neighborhood watch lady just did another pass by me. This is the third one. She’s definitely watching me. Somehow this is more unnerving than my creepy stalker who keeps leaving weird comments on my blog year after year after year.

I admit I was confused by their newest comment. When I saw the phrase “Vietnamese refugee,” I thought they were talking about my best friend growing up in NOVA. Well, one of them, anyway. Really she was more like my Best Frenemy. We were on and off from middle school up until our late 20’s. I don’t really write about her because there’s nothing much to say. Sometimes people grow out of their friendships.

So here I am having flashbacks to this person sleeping over at my house and sneaking out to drink shitty cheap alcohol on the beach by the lake and that time she bought me erotic magnetic poetry for my birthday. Then I thought about all the fights we had on AOL Instant Messenger and all the horrible stuff we said to each other from behind the safety of a screen. Then I wondered whatever happened to her after she married that white guy and moved to Germany.

I have used her as a character once. If you ever saw the screenplay I wrote in high school that was published here called “Spy Movie,” she is Clyde, the airheaded sidekick of the main character. Yup, that’s her. I bet when you read that script, it never even occurred to you that the character was Vietnamese because it’s not important in the story. I bet you just imagined a blonde white girl, right? Right. Who is the racist person now?

I taught to myself, “This is very strange. Why would she be confronting me now, and why would she be doing it under a fake name on an anonymous blog post on my website? Why didn’t she just message me directly and say what she has to say to me like she always does? This is very out of character for her. She has always been someone who is very direct about saying, ‘Bitch, what the fuck?’”

Then I realized… wait, this person is not the topic of this troll’s focus at all. They’re talking about someone else. This can’t be a NOVA person. East Coast people are direct. This shady, passive-aggressive behavior can only be someone from South Dakota. This is just how they behave on a normal day.

So I thought about it for awhile and then I realized, “This is that troll from Bloody Mary’s again. Oh, right, they’re talking about that one random person who worked at Bloody Mary’s a million and a half years ago who I barely know. She’s like, the only Vietnamese person in SD, so I guess that makes her special? You know, white liberals love a good mascot. If she was from where I’m from, she would have just been sitting at the ‘Cool Asian’ table in the lunch hall.”

Meanwhile, in NOVA, there’s three pages in the yearbook dedicated just to people with the last name Nguyen, along with an entire massive community of people who came all the way from all the countries in SEA to start over in the U.S. along with an entire community of people who came from literally all over the world to start a new life in the U.S. As a white person, I was a minority growing up, and I was fine with it. I can especially see how awesome an opportunity it was after meeting the close-minded, hateful, small town assholes who never leave their cozy little bubbles inhabiting SD.

Again, what point are you trying to make by bringing this up now, Mr. Troll? Part of the reason I hated living in SD is because it’s all white people, all the time, and the vast majority of them are ignorant and bigoted. They don’t consider me as “one of them” because I’m just an “elitist East Coast asshole from the Big City.” Quite frankly, I don’t want to be “one of them.” I am not someone who feels comfortable in a room full of white people. I am someone who prefers to mix as much as possible, specifically because I grew up in an area where everyone from everywhere in the world was all jammed together in a small space. It is what it is.

Easy to see why I’m confused. Anyway, yeah, the troll is mad because of some weird thing I said when I was drunk, and it still took me 15 minutes to figure out what they’re talking about. Who even knows anymore? This person must be a liberal because only a liberal would hyperfocus on all the times you weren’t perfect in order to tear you down. That’s why we have no leadership and the Democratic Party is falling apart. You’re eating each other alive. It’s pathetic. It’s also why I started registering as an Independent instead of a Democrat and then eventually left the country altogether. Get your shit together, “Team Blue.” You’re a fucking mess.

Sidenote: This should be fairly obvious, but I am not conservative or Republican or Libertarian (which is just a fairy tale fantasy, btw) or anything even remotely close to that end of the political spectrum. I would never, ever align myself with those world views for any reason whatsoever. There’s just no room to exist in the middle anymore, so that was a huge reason why I decided to leave the U.S. altogether.

Neighborhood Watch Lady just did a fourth pass. Is this actually just a glitch in the Matrix? She came from the same direction and walked the same path, even though she disappeared in the opposite direction a few minutes ago. How did she do that?

Weird.

Anyway, I don’t know why this troll is still so focused on me. I guess that’s what basement trolls do. It’s actually kinda flattering to know there is someone out there who hates me so much that they are documenting everything I say. My question is… why?

Another question: Do you see Bloody Mary’s featured on this website anymore, anywhere? No, you don’t. The reason is because people like you wouldn’t stop harassing me about it. I got tired of dealing with the stupidity, so I took it down. Because, as we all know, everything I say and do must be attacked and criticized, but trashy SD people get to start as much drama as they want and ruin lives and they are all untouchable and innocent and how dare you call them out on anything ever? How dare I say they’re all fake as fuck and do nothing but spread malicious gossip and stab each other in the back? How dare I make that observation after living there for 15 years and traveling around and working in different places? How dare I call them out for what they are?

It’s some bizarre form of extreme cultural narcissism that I can’t understand, mostly because I can’t see what they’re so proud of. SD culture consists of funny billboards for Wall Drug and the massive false-advertising campaign known as The World’s Only Corn Palace. Come see the sacred Indigenous mountain that white people desecrated by carving faces into them! Then you can learn all about the life of the ex-governor who put herself on the map by bragging about murdering puppies and now spends her time trying to run all the brown people out of the country! South Dakota is so great!

Did I miss anything? Did I leave something out? I know, we didn’t have time to get to Janklow or the Deer Slayer or the infamous GEAR UP Scandal. So many great things to be proud of as a South Dakotan! I simply can’t imagine why they’re all so mad at me for pointing this out to them.

I’m sorry that you can’t handle criticism from an elitist East Coast asshole who came all the way from the Big City to try to “change things.” As a South Dakotan Baby Boomer once screamed in my face, “We don’t want you outsiders coming in here and changing things!!!” A very bold and entertaining stance coming from a white person who is two generations removed from the people who committed literal genocide against the Native Americans to get the land they’re farming, but sure, go off, Queen. Say whatever you want. You have your Freedom of Speech, and so do I. You want to get on here and use a fake name and insult me under the cover of anonymity so you don’t have to answer for yourself, fine. You do that because you’re a coward. I am not a coward, which is why I put my real name and face on everything I say.

Anyway, yeah, I don’t know what this troll is trying to accomplish. I just know they’re sitting on a pile of screenshots, desperately grasping for straws. Like, it’s over now, bro. You won. Bloody Mary’s is offline, I left SD forever, and now I’m currently living on the other side of the planet trying to figure out how to start over fresh with a brand new life after all the fucked up shit I went through while living in that miserable fucking shithole full of assholes like you. What are you still mad about, bro?

Look, I’m not going to stop writing. My middle school bullies didn’t stop me when they stole my “Slam Book” and spread the pages all around the school, just like the owner of Bloody Mary’s throwing a mantrum in the middle of Main Street didn’t stop me five years ago.

Oh, and let’s not forget that time the frat boys tried to cancel me over “lying” about the fucked up misogynistic shit I saw at a frat party. Weren’t you asking for proof of that? Well, turns out I got your proof. There’s a documentary out now called “House of Horrors : Secrets of College Greek Life” on Hulu that includes an episode specifically dedicated to campus date rape culture. Why don’t you check it out? There’s plenty of footage in there of young men chanting things similar to “We’re on the hunt for cunt!” Please, defend that abhorrent behavior more. Be an even bigger part of the problem than you have to be!

Just admit you’re complicit in the misogynistic culture of the patriarchy that keeps us all prisoner and try to do better for your daughters in the future. I’m sure you won’t be defending Greek Life so vehemently when one of them gets roofied at a party her second week at college and drops out because everyone is defending him. Oh, and be sure to tell them it was all their fault because of what they were wearing! Keep the culture of date rape alive! Defend men’s right to stick their dick whenever they want, whenever they want, regardless of whether or not the object of their lust is consenting to it! That’s totally the kind of world we should be living in!!!!

Basement trolls. So dumb. Literally, what is this person’s end goal here? The last time they came after me with threats of “ruining my life,” I was unemployed and living at home with my parents, one of which was my terminally ill father who died shortly after. Now I’m on the literal opposite side of the planet, still unemployed, but without the heavy burden of taking care of my fucked up family. What glamorous life are you planning to ruin here? Is your plan to wait another three decades for me to get on the New York Times Bestseller List so you can come out of the woodwork, finally show your face to the world, and “expose” me by posting pages of shit I already self-published?

I don’t get it. I just don’t get it.

This person also used to accuse me of “lying” about my Publisher friend in Yankton. Not sure what the lie was there. His career is quite well documented. He was self-publishing his work before the internet. That’s how he got his nickname. He showed me the first print edition of his book that he put his own money into to have made at a local printing press. Before the internet!!!! We went through his office together. I spent time with him in a meaningful way to understand more about writing and publishing as a career. He is my friend, even if I can’t personally stand to be around him anymore because he drinks too much.

But Mr. Troll over here is like, “She’s just fucking him for booze and housing!” I showed the Publisher this random, anonymous person’s psycho tweets. Both of us laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. Then we started talking about business and marketing and how great New York City is again because that’s what we do.

So as you can see, it’s clear this troll knows me personally. It’s also very clear they are from SD because they only choose to target my relationships and activities in SD. They don’t know anything about my life in NOVA before I moved to SD. They don’t know anything about the neighborhood I grew up in. They don’t know my friends and family and life on the East Coast. They don’t want to know about my travels across the world. They don’t want to see any of the good. They’re some small town troll who never left their tiny little bubble who is trying to project that type of thinking onto me, and it’s not me. It’s pathetic. I feel sorry for them.

Well, anyway, they’ve succeeded in getting and keeping my attention, for now. I’ll be sure to post extra pictures of myself enjoying the beaches of Vietnam to piss them off even more. Maybe their head will explode and then they’ll finally leave me alone. A girl can dream.

In the meantime, I’ve booked my next Yoga Teacher Training Course. I’ll be heading to Indonesia next. I’m so excited. I’ve always wanted to go to Indonesia. Another one of my best friends lived there when we were kids. I wish I could message her and tell her I’m finally going, but our friendship faded out after I moved to SD.

I’m still not over it, to be honest. Losing that friendship was, to this day, my biggest heartbreak of all time. I can’t even tell you how much this person taught me about the world. The entire reason I want to travel is because that’s what she did our whole childhood. She traveled the world because her dad worked for the embassy. I wanted to be like that, do that, live my life that way. I wish I could talk to her now and just tell her how much her presence in my life truly meant to me. She was a beacon of light through the darkest times of my life. I will never forget her as long as I live.

Aww, so sad. I just teared up for a moment. I was so sad when I had to move away from NOVA. I miss my friends more than anything. I still talk to some of them. People I’ve known for 20+ years. People I’ve watched grow and change and become the best versions of themselves. I love my friends. I value my friends more than they will ever know.

One of the other reasons I didn’t like SD is because it was hard to make friends. People are either already in their little cliques or they just don’t value friendship in general. I can’t even tell you how many times I thought I’d made friends with someone there, only to discover they were trashing me behind my back and sharing screenshots of my private text conversations. This is how I learned, “Oh, they just see me as an Outsider to drag into their drama and use as a guest star in their little soap opera they call life. They do this to everyone. They have no empathy. They don’t value friendship or respect or trust. They’re trash.”

I love it when people accuse me of “making generalizations” about SD. No, these are just my reflections on my lived experiences. I went to different towns, worked in different places, hung out with lots of different cliques. I hung out with rich people who lived in McMansions, poor people who lived in trailers, and everyone in between. And you know what they all had in common? They were all fake, two-faced, backstabbing jerks who trash talk everyone else behind their backs and cause endless drama.

The End.

I just think it’s funny. When I moved there, I knew nothing about South Dakota. I did zero research. I was angry, so I refused. I did not want to move there. All I knew was “Black Hills, Gold Rush, Wounded Knee, Genocide.” I was very open-minded. I would talk to anyone. And time after time, I got treated the same horrible way. It didn’t matter how much I researched about the history of SD. It didn’t matter if I tried to meet them at their level. They told it to me like it is: They don’t like Outsiders. Period. Fifteen years later, here we are. They’ve shown me who they are and I believe them. I went out into the world, I put in the work to meet people, make observations, and gather information. This is the ultimate conclusion that I came to.

Here’s the lesson, bro: If you don’t like the way someone writes about you, maybe next time, you should behave better.

Sucks to suck!

The End.

Ugh, I’m done acknowledging this person after this. They seriously need to just come out from behind the screen and show me who they are. Say that shit to my face. Have a mediation session where we resolve whatever the fuck their issues are. Try to make them understand that just because growth and change doesn’t happen in SD doesn’t mean it’s not possible at all. I am not like them. I’m from the 703. It’s kind of a big deal. So, my perception of the world is not the same as theirs and it never will be unless they start making a real effort to change their ways.

Neighborhood Watch just did another pass!!! Again, from the same direction. She’s either walking in circles on purpose, or it’s a glitch in the Matrix. Either way, time to retreat back into the AC. Mostly because it’s about to rain anyway…

Off to work on my Peace Corps stuff now. What are the odds this random crackpot is going to try to email their mess of a pile of screenshots and be like, “DON’T HIRE THIS PERSON BECAUSE THEY ARE CRAZY!”

Again, so your plan is to follow me around for the rest of my life and destroy any and all potential opportunities I have by sending anyone I’m seen associating with your precious file of screenshots, and somehow you think that between the two of us, I am the “crazy” one?

Sure, Jan. Keep telling yourself that. Just know that at this point in time, I am literally in Thailand, and you are the one who is starting to sound “delusional” and “unhinged.”

Also, you should really start talking to a therapist about your fixation issues. Trust me, I get it. I fixate on people all the time. It used to be a real problem! But then I did a lot of self-examination, tried some new therapies, got some new hobbies, took some classes, worked on building up my self-esteem, went to India for my first YTTC, and really got to the root of all my issues. Then I decided to make a real, significant, positive change in my life, got the job in Hong Kong, and left. Did that job work out? No, but now I’m in Thailand. I’m about to go to Indonesia. Then I get to go somewhere else. Wherever I want. Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Taiwan, Korea, Japan, Malaysia, Singapore, China, Mongolia, Macau, probably not Myanmar tbh, but you see what I’m saying. The world is my oyster.

Do you think I’m sitting on the Internet, stalking some guy, obsessing over everything he says and does, plotting to destroy his life? No. I’m not. I’m looking at affordable luxury condos with high-speed internet and fabulous beach views in Da Nang, just like everyone else in the digital nomad community is right now. It’s the new hot spot!

I’ve moved on. So should you. I’m allowed to write about my feelings and observations. I’m allowed to document my life. I am allowed to tell my story the way I want to tell my story. I don’t have to answer to pathetic little trolls like you who see women like me expressing our right to free speech and think, “This is why we need to take away women’s right to vote.”

I’m sorry you hate me so much, but that’s not my problem. I don’t have to stop being myself just because you hate me. If you don’t like it, stop reading it. I know, it’s hard, you’re clearly addicted and obsessed. Again, I get it. But please know that I think you are Trash. Just a huge pile of stinky trash that caught fire on a hot day. Please do me a favor and take yourself out today. Plzkthx, Bye Felicia!

Anyway, hope the rest of you have a nice day. Enjoy touching grass! Make sure and touch some extra grass on behalf of this sad little cave troll who lives in a dark basement amongst a pile of piss-filled plastic bottles and leftover fast food bags. They really need your hashtagthoughtsandprayers today.

As they say in India, “A cha cha, this is a fucking joke, bro.”