Thursday morning. Currently sitting at a table at the little coffee stand I’m obsessed with. Usually I just take my coffee and run, but today I feel like sitting and watching the traffic pass by for a little bit longer.
Can you tell I don’t miss Verm? Because I do not miss Verm. The further away from it I get, the more I see it as that time I was kidnapped, held hostage against my will in 1880 Town, then tied up to the train tracks waiting to be hit head-on, all for some sideshow entertainment special.
At least in this life, I have reincarnated to become a peace-loving yogi who vibes with the ambiance of morning rush hour in Bangkok. At least, that’s who I’m trying to be right now.
My evening was… well… how do I say this politely? It was like reddit come to life, but in a bad way. What do I mean by that? Uh, well, have you ever casually wandered into a sub thinking it’s a safe space and then had to flee about an hour and a half later because you realize the people espousing one opinion you agree with are also holding some very scary, very dangerous, very unhinged opinions as well? Right.
So this was my experience with ze Germans I met last night on the rooftop.
The one guy was obvious from the start. He started the conversation with the classic “I’m a Libertarian who doesn’t believe in the State” speech and ended it by ranting about how all Trans people are pedophiles and all immigrants are rapists and criminals and they all need to be rounded up and executed (by the non-existent State????). You know, the usual spew of hateful garbage these types are programmed to pump out without stopping to critically think about any of it whatsoever.
Something, something, alphabet soup people, blah blah blah, mental illness, blah blah blah, and oh by the way, they don’t have freedom of speech in Germany because you can’t say that the Jews “deserved it” (in reference to the literal Holocaust) for running insurance scams on Germans.
Right. So clearly I exited that chat room pretty fast. I pretended to be too stoned to participate in the conversation, but really I was scoping out the nearest exit while this guy was screaming hate speech in mixed English and very impassioned German from a literal rooftop in Thailand.
I wish I could forget I witnessed this rant, but when I woke up this morning, my first thought was, “You were mad about an insurance scam so you thought the correct solution to the problem was to fry literal children in a fucking oven? En masse? What the fuck?”
Yeah, so, just gonna go out on a limb here and guess that they do have freedom of speech. What is actually happening is that they are just completely failing to see the insane leaps of logic they are making by going from “insurance scams bad” to “Brutally murdering millions of people in the literal fucking Holocaust good” and that’s why they keep getting into trouble.
But sure, whatever, go off, King.
So that was a thing that happened last night. Gotta love expat life???
Ugh, that’s so depressing to think about. Let’s lighten the mood of this post by giving a shoutout to the Thai guy who just drove by in a white SUV with the Jurassic Park logo fixed to both sides. Hashtag living the dream.
Let us never forget that the most essential plot point in Jurassic Park is that the dinosaurs were able to change their biological sex and reproduce without the scientists knowledge because they had fish and amphibian DNA that allowed them to do so. You see, kids, there are certain species of fish and amphibians that can, in fact, change their biological sex to Male if there are too many Females so that they can reproduce. So you see, it is, in fact, a naturally occurring biological process that exists in nature. There goes that argument. Try again!
Oh right, I forgot, human beings didn’t evolve, right? We were just magically put on this earth one day after some magical male sky wizard decided to make a perfect male doll and then take the rib from that male doll and make a woman out of it, but only because the first version of the woman doll was too bitchy and mean. They had to make a new version that talks to snakes and eats apples that gives them brain power so men would always have a convenient scapegoat to oppress and stomp on. And that’s why women bleed once a month, or something.
Right.
So I’m supposed to believe that crazy bullshit, but not that DNA can evolve and change through environmental manipulation.
Sure, Jan. Whatever.
Anyway…
I’m trying to make light of it, but that conversation is weighing on me. There were lots of fun opinions that came out during this conversation from the people I’ve been spending time with over the last few days. Fun opinions like “bisexual people don’t really exist” and “it’s totally okay to participate in the exploitation of local sex workers because it’s funny to watch them put things up their holes for show.” And of course, the crazy Holocaust and “Alphabet Soup” stuff.
Yikes on bikes!
“Alphabet Soup” is a new term I’ve recently learned, by the way. It’s a derogatory phrase for LGBTQIA+ people. You won’t be seeing me repeat it unless it’s in this specific context of writing down the fucked up shit people say when they think they’re in a safe space.
Narrator: They were not, in fact, in a safe space.
I should just be a journalist. Or a spy. Or something where I can put these skills to good use for the world. Alas.
Wow, I am so glad I got those thoughts out of my head and onto paper. That shit was haunting me all night long. I don’t approve of the actions taken by the state of Israel is regards to just about everything and anything, but I also don’t believe in exterminating anyone via genocide, so… Team No One.
Solid Team No One.
Yup, I think I’m about ready to leave Thailand now. Time to head back to India and get my mind right in the shala. And here I thought saying I wasn’t a “full vegetarian yet” was controversial. Hopefully we don’t meet too many of the crunchy anti-vaxx granola types there, lol. I’m sure that we will meet all sorts of strange people, as my first experience at a yoga school in India taught me.
I’ll stay open-minded. After all, I’m here for the experience. Unfortunately, that experience includes colonizers, libertarian wannabes, transphobes, and anti-vaxxers. They are the loudest and most obnoxious. The exploited are quiet, unheard, unseen. They are pushed into the background while these voices shout their hatred from the rooftops. No one is speaking for the malnourished animals or the enslaved sex workers or the trans people being beaten and harassed in the streets.
Who will speak if not for me?
How do I use this voice I’ve been given to do the right thing? How do I lead in this situation? How do I push back against the violence and hatred and ignorance? How do I stand up tall and speak for those who cannot? Why do I just freeze up and run away and talk shit on my blog instead?
I have no answer for any of this.
My answer for now is to return to the rooftop and meditate.
Side note: Talking to Europeans is so funny. I used to think they were all old worldly and cultured and just better in general because of their art and philosophy and espresso and sidewalk cafes. Now I’m learning exactly why my ancestors got on a boat and noped the fuck out as soon as they could, lmfao.
Too real, too real.
Off now. Will return later, hopefully with something a bit more lighthearted and fun, like a filtered photo of my $5 lunch special from the food cart down the street. Just kidding, of course. I don’t do food pics. I’m too busy eating the food to spend 10 minutes taking the perfect photo of it. Top reason I cannot be an influencer.
Have you ever been out to eat with someone who has a compulsive need to take photos of all the food at the table, not just their own, and delays your meal because they need to take a picture of your food in the perfect light? It drives me crazy. It really does. Just let me eat my damn food. You’re not a professional food photographer. Nobody cares about the 10 whole likes on Instagram you’re going to get. Just let me eat my goddamn food so I have the patience to sit still and stay silent while you’re sitting across the table ranting about Alphabet Soup or whatever the fucking fuck crazyass conspiracy theory bullshit you picked up from Reddit today.
*screams into the void*
It’s giving White Lotus. “Wow, what was that?”
Welcome to my entire trip thus far. Just a whole lotta “Wow. What was that?” vibes.
Okay, done with this post for real now. Ta ta!