Wednesday morning. Cloudy again. It’s been cloudy every day I’ve been here in Thailand. Not the best time of year to come unless you enjoy rain. I don’t particularly mind staring out the window with my notebook and coffee in front of me, so it works for me.

How is Betsey today? Betsey is tired. Also, struck by a very old, lingering homesickness for NOVA. I haven’t lived there in 16 years, but I still wish I could go back home there. I miss it so much. I never thought I would, but, yeah, wow, what I wouldn’t give to just hide in my little Colonial house in the suburbs and bury my head in the sand. Alas… it cannot be. Those cute little houses all cost millions of dollars now. They also ruined my neighborhood by tacking on these giant additions so everyone has these tacky McMansions taking up all the lovely green yard space. It’s not the same…

So here I am in Thailand. It’s my last week here. Then I go to the yoga shala in India for a month. Then what? I don’t know. I can choose anything. I can go anywhere.

I sat in meditation for a long time wondering what to do. I found myself sitting at a crossroads, looking at a map of Disney World. This road leads to Paris, this road leads to 1880 Town (aka South Dakota, lol), this road leads to a Carnival party, this road leads to a beach bungalow in Bali, this road leads to the yoga shala in India, this road leads to Tomorrowland (NYC, Dubai, Hong Kong, etc), this road leads to the African animal safari.

It doesn’t matter. I can choose anything path. I will always end up here, back at the center, sitting on a bench under a tree, wishing I could go back to my beautiful lakeside palace again. But I cannot. I must continue traveling down these roads until I have traveled them all.

Where is Home? Is it Washington, D.C.? I cannot go back there now. It has become something horrific. Something I do not recognize. My Home is lost now. Home is inside of me. It’s my center, it’s my heart, it’s me.

Thailand is so awesome. I love a good meditation sesh. I’m a deep kind of person. Take me to the bottom of the trenches along the ocean floor where the ancients live. I’m all about that shit. Meditating on a rooftop in Bangkok is definitely a Must-Add to your Thailand bucket list.

I’m pleased that I have used my time here to return to my yoga and meditation practice. I lost my personal practice while I was teaching in SD. Here I was able to get it back. I feel like I’m in the right mindset for this Yoga Teacher Training course. I’ve had time to reflect on my 200hr course and what I want to get out of the 300hr.

Mindset is good. I credit my apartment and the group of expats I’ve met. This apartment was very expensive. Definitely a budget buster. However, I’ve never lived in a gigantic high-rise loft with all the fancy amenities before, so it was worth it just for the experience of spending a month in a nice place with no problems. The added bonus came with the people I met on the roof top. I stopped being so isolated and went out on a bunch of adventures. I actually got to experience Bangkok instead of just hiding in the comfort of said fancy loft. It’s been a good experience.

One thing I’ve learned about friendships on the road is that they are situational. You meet people where you are, you go out together and enjoy all the experiences, and then you move on. You put the picture in your memory book and now it’s a special moment you can always look back on when you’re feeling down. C’est la vie.

How’s the job thing going? Well, I’m definitely scrolling a lot on various job sites. I guess I’m having trouble deciding which path to travel down at Disney World, lol. Always! That’s why I bought myself more time by going to the yoga shala. I’ll be doing something active while learning discipline and routine. Then I have some more time and I can find something. No worries. Everything will work out in the end.

I budgeted emergency airline points just in case I need to book a flight home and sleep on my brother’s floor, lol. To what end? You know? I’m out here in the world. It’s time to sink or swim. I’m not sinking. I’m swimming all the way to the island and living my best Tempest life. Or maybe it’s Twelfth Night. Twelfth Night would make more sense since my brother is basically my twin. Anyway, random Shakespeare references no one expected! So fun!

I keep laughing at myself. Remember that time I lived in Hong Kong? Ugh. Definitely overrated, and I’m not just saying that because I’m bitter. It’s such a beautiful city. It’s so lit. But… there’s also this darkness to it that isn’t quite right. Not for me. But I’m glad I tried it!

Bangkok has been good to me. I’m glad I found a soft landing here after I had to leave Hong Kong in a flash. I had no intention of staying here for a month, but I’m glad I got sucked in. Thanks for showing me the harsh realities of life while also keeping me comfortable, insulated, and safe. Big fan, big fan.

Now what?

Now we return to India for Part 3 and live our best Yogi Lifestyle. Get ready for cheesy pictures of me at the Beatles ashram. Is this place problematic? Oh hell yeah! You wouldn’t even believe how much of the yoga community is problematic, lol. At least I get to look good in a cool picture, right? Check out these cool elephant pants, you guys. Namaste!

For me, I like the idea of taking back a space where dark things happened and turning it into something positive and full of light and hope. That’s where my vibe is at.

So many options for my post-YTTC month. What should I do? Where should I go? I can go anywhere from New Delhi. It’s hard to decide. Volunteer at a surf/yoga retreat? Find a teaching job? Find remote work? Write a book?

Thank god I didn’t marry that guy. I would have been trapped in his kitchen forever. Ugh. Horror show, for certain. It’s kinda funny how I keep thinking I’m writing these romance stories when in reality they’re horror movies, lol. Don’t be me. Get right with your mind and your spirit so your body doesn’t fall prey to these psychos.

What am I doing? I don’t know. Right now I’m just having a coffee and enjoying my lovely loft apartment overlooking the entire city of Bangkok.

So happy I finally left 1880 Town behind. Lol, that’s what it is now. It’s Ye Olde Wild West. 1880 Town, hahahahaha. Hahahahaha. Sorry, I just got the mental image of me dressed up as a cowboy facing down Andrew in the street for the big shoot-out while Mad Dog eggs us on from the sidelines. Hahaha! That’s SO funny to me! Like, okay, okay, now I get it. Now I see it. I get the vision. I do. I’m not mad anymore. LOL!

DRAW!

HAHAHAHA!

Sorry, I really needed to make Bloody Mary’s funny again. Remember that time I followed a grizzled old man around named Mad Dog so I could listen to his crazy story and meet his even crazier friends? When am I gonna write that story, huh?

Soon, Dog. Soon. I just needed time.

My life is crazy. I should definitely write another book or five. Maybe even seven. Let’s get on this Bridgerton shit; Endless Netflix deals. Delusional? Maybe. But I need something to strive for in this life. My raison d’être is clearly writing. Might as well aim for the top.

I should probably start by organizing this blog better. That would be a nice first step on that high ladder, and we all know I’m afraid of heights…

I guess less so now that I’ve fallen from a high-rise in Hong Kong and landed safely in Thailand. I’m still here! I’m okay. Weirdly enough, I’m better than ever. Fearless.

I’m okay!

I’m going to get this figured out. Don’t worry about me.

Off now. To do what, I don’t know. Watch the rain more? Try to finish watching Too Much? I’m not binging Netflix daily like I was in Verm, but I have been attempting to watch this show while I eat dinner every night. It’s something. I’m not bored by it. Just fascinated by how different this person’s version of “Millennial Life” is from mine. It’s like… you’re the voice of whose generation? You’re definitely A Voice, just not THE Voice, lol.

So far the writing overall is much better than Girls. I didn’t really care for Girls, honestly. I think I turned it off sometime during the second season? I can’t even remember. I just found it very vapid and kind of gross. Too Much is less gross, but definitely still vapid.

I guess I just find the guys boring and have no interest in doing cocaine. I just watched an episode where she did cocaine with all of her coworkers at her boss’ dinner party. Is that based on her real life? Did that really happen? Because I’ve heard so many stories about things like that in Hong Kong and Dubai. Like, no wonder I can’t get a job. I’m not interested in doing cocaine or ketamine! I guess that explains everything, lol. Okay, I feel much better now, hahaha. No need to worry. Everything is going to be okay.

Anyway, overall I appreciate The Realness of the show. It has some pretty funny moments, so I’ll stick with it. I’m just not binging like I used to. I’m busy sitting with my own thoughts and experiences, trying to write my own Netflix show.

What can I say? Ye Olde Wild West Show in 1880 Town wasn’t selling, so I had to do something interesting… like travel the world! So here I am… traveling the world for Book/Movie/TV Show content.

Just as delulu as ever, I guess.

Off for real now. Ta ta!