Tuesday. Holiday. Doesn’t feel like anyone is really celebrating. What is there to celebrate, really? It is what it is.

Spent most of the day asleep. Same as my first day here. Currently sitting in an outdoor cafe, having a hot chai and eavesdropping on the French conversation at the table next to me.

Now I have to figure out where to go next. Shouldn’t be too hard. I can literally go anywhere in the world from here.

It’s been one month since I left the States. Let’s recap this entire trip so far:

Move to Chicago with my brother — This part was stressful, difficult, frustrating, and I had to leave a lot behind. But in the end, I was very grateful to out of that horrible little shithole in South Dakota forever. Whatever else happens after this, I will never have to go back there ever again.

Trip to Dubai with the boyfriend – Well, that didn’t work out the way I planned. That’s what I get for falling for Ye Olde Indian Marrige Scam. Just the first of many scams I would find out I fell for in desperation to get out of my shitty situation. Sigh.

It sucks, but, this is how we learn. It just sucks to realize the longest relationship I’ve ever had was yet another lie, but hey, that’s men for ya! At this point, I think I’m just fine with being single forever.

In spite of this guy, the trip to Dubai turned out to be pretty fun over all. Split my time between the beach, the pool, and the lounge, met a cast of crazy characters, went on a desert safari, and learned some new things about the world I didn’t know before. This is the best I can hope for from a travel experience, so I’m gonna give it a 14/10.

Trip to India — Also not what I expected after the boyfriend left. I basically just spent a day there as a result. Stayed in a lovely palatial hotel in the Diplomatic Quarters and went to an Ayurvedic Spa. The spa treatment somehow healed the blockage in my heart chakra that I’ve been fighting for years, so the trip was worth it just for that alone. Still, I would like to go back to India again. I love India.

Move to Hong Kong — Wow, what the fuck? Ugh. This is the part where I get mad. I planned to be here for a whole year. I left everything behind for this bullshit job that also turned out to be a massive scam.

This isn’t even me just being dramatic right now. This time I got proof! I’ve got screenshots of emails, recordings, and interviews with two sources. If I get one more source who is willing to send me their email chain, I’ve got an article. If I get three more after that, I’ve got an exposé. So, there is that silver lining in the clouds on this rainy, stormy day.

I’m just bitter because I invested so much just to be treated like garbage and forced into making a brand new plan. It sucks. This company sucks. There is real evil in this world, and this company represents it. Ugh.

Lesson learned: next time, trust the reviews. Also, don’t work for predatory for-profit scam companies passing themselves off as “educational centers.”

Disgusting!

Anyway, now I have to leave, which just sucks. It sucks! This was supposed to be my time for me. But instead, it was just another fucking scam I fell for on the internet in my desperation to get the fuck out of South Dakota. It’s just like Montana. Ugh.

I have a long, long history of falling for crap like this, but I can be more weary and discerning now that I am not so desperate to escape from that crap hole. My vision is clear. I can think straight, I can see straight, I can literally get any job and it will probably be better.

Alright, so all of that happened in one month. What is my life right now? Crazy. My life is crazy. This is what I get for putting it out into the universe that I want to be a writer. The universe provides the material in abundance. No problem. I guess I need to focus more on manifesting the stability of a non-toxic job and a roof over my head. No more working for or with toxic, shitty people, especially if they are racist. Ugh.

This trip has taught me a lot about myself so far:

-How to say no and put up strong boundaries.

-How to walk away from a bad situation as soon as those bright, flaming red flags start flying.

-What kind of behavior towards myself and others I will and will not tolerate.

-How to find people who are open to mixing cultures instead of staying trapped in their little tiny bubble.

-What my values are and how important it is not to compromise them.

-The fact that I am not willing to sacrifice my mental health for anyone or anything in this world. I have worked too hard and come too far in my life to sacrifice it all. Fuck that shit. No amount of money, no person, no company, nothing is worth it to me to give up the progress I’ve made in this world.

-I am so much stronger than I have ever given myself credit for. I can officially stand on my own. Throughout this whole experience, I never once reached out and asked for help from anyone. You know what this means? My ridiculous family never gets to lecture me about anything ever again. I’m sure they’ll be devastated. Oh no, what will you do now that your scapegoat has proven you wrong, yet again? Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get over it eventually with time and extensive amounts of therapy that we all know you won’t be getting anytime soon.

-There is a difference between genuine kindness towards others and “being nice,” as I learned last night from someone flipping out on me over one of my blog posts. I caught a few words here and there, but I stopped reading the negative rants about this blog like ten years ago. Why? Because they all sound exactly the fucking same.

To summarize, it went something like, blah blah blah, you’re an entitled asshole American, blah blah blah, you think you’re better than everyone (lol), blah blah blah, fake high school bullshit (I’m 36), blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!

You know, all the usual crap these people spew at me when they can’t handle the reflections of themselves they see in the mirror. I must have received a thousand rants like this in my lifetime, all from people who engage in zero level of self-reflection whatsoever.

I love the logic at work here. I am a bad person for writing about my life experiences and the people I meet, but they are a good person by virtue of being Christian, even though they support Trump and don’t believe in vaccines, which by default means they’re okay with children dying of preventable diseases. Yes, I’m sure Jesus would totally be down with letting children die en masse when the medicine they need is right there. Just another reason I left that religion behind, and believe me, there are many.

You can do all the mental gymnastics you want, honey, but if you support these two evil causes in the world, you’re not a good person. Being white and Christian doesn’t automatically make you better than everyone else. Blinding supporting a leader who actively works to make the world a worse place for everyone when he doesn’t even run your country doesn’t make you a good person. It makes you a brainwashed fool who is naive to the harsh realities of the world. Grow up.

Anyway, that’s enough of that now. I could be in South Dakota and having this exact same conversation, which is pretty scary, honestly. The MAGA brainwashing exists in other countries as well, which is actually pretty crazy. Then again, I’m not evil, nor do I support evil, so of course I would have trouble understanding people who think like that.

The answer is that they don’t think at all. That’s why they eat this crap up. They need someone to think for them. Why they chose a reality TV star who is a known criminal and rapist, again, I will not understand, but it’s clearly justifying their shitty belief system about the rest of the world. And that belief system is, “Fuck you, I got mine. If you disagree, I’ll hang you from a tree.”

I didn’t come here for that. I came to get away from all of that. I came here to meet new people, explore a new place, and learn about different cultures. I came to have an adventure, which is exactly what I’m doing right now.

I’m having an adventure. It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. I clearly have not arrived at my final destination as of yet, so let’s just sit back and enjoy the ride.