Saturday night. Alone in the apartment on my last night here. So grateful I never have to climb up that stupid loft bed after this. I’m way too old for that shit. Hopefully the next person who lives here will appreciate it more than I do.

How am I? GREAT! Wow, I feel the best I have since I’ve been in Hong Kong. I slept all day, spoke to my roommate about the situation, told her she was gonna be totally fine all by herself, and sent her off into the night to go have fun with all her new friends. She has no idea how lucky she really is. I would have given anything to be alone in a brand new city at her age (23) with naive AF to the terrible realities of the world. I know in my heart she’s going to have the experience I wish I could have had. I am so happy for her. I really am.

Meanwhile, I’m old and boring and 36, so I took a shower, did a face mask, threw a load of laundry in the wash, put on my favourite Bollywood playlist, did some tantric dance, and prayed to my preferred Hindu god, Lord Ganesha, to remove all the obstacles currently standing in the way of me becoming a writer. To say I feel much better now is a complete and total understatement. This is how I should feel all the time. No more sacrificing my mental health to work for shitty people at shitty companies who actively exploit people desperate enough to leave their shitty lives behind. It’s just not worth it to me.

I refuse to ever put myself in a position ever again where I am looking out a window and thinking of jumping. No. That’s over now. It’s done. I’ve come too far in life to go back there. Never again. Never, ever again. Never.

What will I do now? Well, I don’t know, to be honest. I found a cheap hostel around the corner to stay for a few nights until I figure out a new plan. Going to pack up my stuff tonight and head over there tomorrow morning. From there, I will figure out a new plan. I trust the universe to provide for me. I really do.

Anyway, I learned a little fun fact about Hinduism on the internet today, so take it with a grain of salt, lol. I googled Lord Ganesha and the suggested prompt was “Ganesha vs Hanuman.” Obviously, I had to click it because Hanuman is my ex’s god. It’s not that they’re fighting, it’s just that they don’t particular care for each other. It probably has something to do with that one time where Ganesha was put in charge of guarding the goddess Parvati’s private bath time and Shiva tried to barge in on her. Ganesha said No, so Shiva cut off his head, just because he wouldn’t let him in to ruin this woman’s well-deserved trip to the luxury spa. So the reason Ganesha has an elephant head is because apparently the only back-up head they had lying around at the time, I guess? Somehow this relates to Hanuman because Hanuman is Shiva, but he’s not, but they are the same? But he’s also a completely different character? Hinduism gets way too deep for me sometimes. I don’t always “get it,” to be honest.

Anyway, that explains some of the weirdness with my ex for sure. After all, this is ultimately a story about an Indian man who felt entitled to a woman’s private space and time because he has no boundaries whatsoever. He didn’t get what he wanted, so he murdered someone innocent in his rage. There you have it, folks. Lesson learned!

All I can say is… be careful what you wish for, honey. You wanted a white women, but you wanted her to be Hindu, speak Hindi, and cook you Indian food just like your mommy. What you got was a real American writer who vibes with the god of Writing, Arts, and Sciences, understands your conversations with the Pakistani cab drivers, and orders takeout for most of her meals. Did you learn your lesson? Hope so!

Anyway, yeah, forget these men and their weird fetishes and fantasies. No idea what’s going on in their brains (and by that I mean dicks), but it clearly has nothing to do with me as a human being. I don’t miss him so much anymore after reading that story, lol. Reads just like the story of my time at the yoga shala, lol. Funny. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Just hanging out for now. Made a charcuterie board and some detox tea. Waiting for my laundry to dry. Going to put on Netflix and chill out until I start packing. Tomorrow, I will deal with reality. Tonight, I am chillin’ like a villain on penicillin. I am not a victim. I am not out on the streets or disempowered in any way. I came prepared to a counter this exact situation, so I have options in front of me. I’m going to be okay. I’m not going to let garbage trash people like this take my power from me and make me feel less than because of who I am and what I believe. Fuck that shit.

I’m too damn old for all of this. My purpose here on this earth is to be a writer. I am sure of it now. I just need to figure out how to get paid to be a writer. Haven’t quite figured that part out yet, but I know Lord Ganesha will clear the way for whatever is coming to me next. My dad is watching over me, my grandmother is watching over me, and Mad Dog is definitely hanging out, lol. Not sure how much guarding he’s actually doing, but it’s always good to have a guy like that on your side, lol.

I am so grateful for my spirituality today. It brings me so much peace and comfort in times like this. Thank god I don’t have to ever have to see those terrible people who made me feel uncomfortable in the workplace by openly mocking my mental health struggles and spiritual beliefs. Good thing I was smart enough to document it this time. You want to sue me? Get ready for the countersuit because it’s full of violations of my basic civil rights. I’m not afraid of you. Do you know who my father is?

Ugh.

If he were here he would say, “Wow, that’s a lot for just one week on the job. This place is terrible. There must be so many more victims out there. This could go full class-action level if we can get enough testimonies from former employees.”

And I would say, “I’ve already started collecting them.” 😁😁😁

I am my father’s daughter. It is what it is. Hopefully we can all agree to just let this one go and call it a day. You can continue exploiting people and violating their basic civil rights, and I can go find a job where I don’t have to put up with disgusting people like you. We all win, no one had to waste anyone’s time or money, and they all lived happily ever after, The End.

Anyway, onto the next one! Whatever that might be.

At least I can say this experience wasn’t entirely a waste. After all, I did get a brand new smart casual wardrobe out of it for significantly less than I would have paid in the United States. And the quality of the clothes is better! So, it’s okay.

And, most importantly, I am no longer tied to South Dakota. I’m free! I never, ever have to go back to that terrible place ever again. I am so grateful every single day just for that fact alone. I absolutely fucking hated it there. I was miserable. That’s probably why I got so triggered by this shittyass company. Same shit, different toilet. I refuse to put myself back in that situation again.

I deserve better, and for the first time in my life, I finally believe it. Feels good.

Okay, off now. Going to doomscroll reddit and catch up the news with Al Jazeera English. Maybe I should go back to the Gulf States. I liked it there. It was a vibe. I could go to India and do another yoga teacher training course. I could go to Bali. I could go to Thailand. I could pretty much go anywhere from here and survive for a couple of months without breaking the bank. That’s a pretty comforting fact.

Don’t worry about me, fam, I’m going to be okay!