Tuesday.

Recovering from my little adventure out at the Secret Society last night. That place is weird for sure. Let’s just say I’ve definitely discovered the next layer of weirdness lurking underneath the surface up there. Mid-Levels Madness, indeed.

Let it be recorded for posterity that I am making a definitive note that this place is WEIRD and OFF. There is something that is not right up there. Last night was only the latest example of the repeatedly occurring weirdness.

In the meantime, I agreed to go to another stand-up comedy thing tonight with an Irish friend I met about a month or two back. I don’t know why I agreed to it. I guess to push myself out of my comfort zone and fulfill things on my vision board. But now… I hardly feel up for it.

Also, I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure I saw my neighbor out with his “mates” last night. I can’t be certain. It definitely looked like him. Whoever it may have been, he was definitely giving me a very strange look that I cannot describe. He was also holding a very small dog, which was actually pretty cute.

I’m probably imaging it. I’m sure he’s actually quite generic-looking for a white guy in Hong Kong. I just can’t tell right now because I’m currently under his Scorpion’s Spell.

I don’t know what this guy did to me, but it’s working.

Whatever. I’m sure it will pass. Three months ago I was mooning on about The Russian, and before that it was that Irish Guy, and before that it was other British Guy, aka that stupid bloody wanker I met in Thailand. Ugh.

It is what it is.

Something about these male Scorpions though. Hmmm… I like it.

Well, in my experience, the only way to get over this guy is to either get under another one or go full throttle on the Muse thing. Seeing as my previous attempt to get under that bartender from the Secret Society didn’t go well, I guess I have no choice but to turn up the Muse dial to level 14 on a 10-scale.

Well, that’s fine. I’ve been in the market for a new Muse. Anyone but Andrew! You know, a good Muse is hard to find. Do you realize I have already been through six in the last year? Mr. Next Door could be lucky number 7!

Okay, it’s official! The Six Nations is over! Welcome to the Hong Kong Sevens!

Hahaha!

See, this is already going so well! And hey, if it doesn’t work out, I guess that officially puts Andrew on the same level as Larry the Cat. Give the man some credit! He lasted 10 years as a Muse! These guys can’t even hack it for a couple of months. Like he literally is the Muse version of Larry the Cat. Good for him, I guess?

Also, it helps a lot that Mr. Next Door has completely vanished off the radar. He’s invisible now. Little does he know, this only makes it worse. Now there’s more space between us to fill in with ridiculous, made-up stories. I need a Muse to write side stories about while I focus on the main event. It’s a stress relief thing. I need something to focus on that will make me laugh while I cry through my dead daddy issues.

Yeah, I can see this working out well for me. Not sure how he’s gonna feel about it. If he’s anything like the rest of them, he will 100% hate it. I think he’s shown me he already does!

But, whatever. He’s the one who decided it was a good idea to get all up in my grill. Maybe he should have thought more about who he was talking to instead of saying dumb shit to me like, “All you do is get drunk and make out with random guys in elevators.”

Oh honey, I do so much more than that. Let me show you what I can really do! what if I wrote a story about making out with you in an elevator?!

Listen, what do you want from me? My friend described this man as “looking like one of the Avengers.” He’s so my type! That’s probably why I hate him so much! Is it really hate, or is it just a one-sided, completed unrequited, slow-burn enemies-to-lovers story in disguise?

I don’t know. Let’s just make some shit up and see what happens. He’s probably not used to starring as the lead in a Western romantic comedy. After all, he does describe himself as someone who “plays bad guys in Chinese movies.”

Welcome to Hollywood!

And just between us, this guy is WAY better looking than Andrew. Plus he’s got the accent. I’m big on the accent. The accent is really doing it for me. It’s the small details that count.

Honestly not sure if it was the accent or the ridiculous “Dad-chelor Party Destination Phuket” t-shirt with the sleeves cut off that flipped the switch for me. I am ashamed to admit that it might have been the t-shirt. It was probably the t-shirt.

Yeah, it was definitely the t-shirt…

Why? How? I don’t understand. It’s simultaneously the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen but also the hottest? What is that?

Yeah, I’m just gonna go for it. Let’s lean all the way in. Lean in so hard we fall over. Let’s burn through this obsession and see how many words/pages we get out of it.

Done and done. I guess we have to give him a fake name now. What should it be? What should it be???