Tuesday afternoon. Oh wait, just kidding. It’s not even noon yet. I just woke up super early this morning and I’ve been working on stuff, so it feels later in the day. Finally, I feel like I’m feeling somewhat back to normal again. The last month and a half has been a whirlwind.

Did some research and decided to extend my stay in this haunted hotel. It has all the amenities I need, such as laundry, a kitchen, a TV, and wifi. I have housekeeping services, which is like… so hard to give up and honestly worth paying someone for because I’m sick and tired of cleaning toilets. I have also become extremely attached to the little coffee stand down the street and the snack shop round the corner. The rent is expensive, but everything else is super cheap.

Oh, and there’s the pool, the gym I don’t use, and the rooftop lounge which does have a bar that I don’t go to nearly as often as you would think because I have other options here that I vastly prefer over alcohol.

Also, this apartment is huge and the view is incredible and I would be stupid to give this up right now because this is exactly what I want/need at this exact moment in time. So, I am staying here for at least one more week. Then I shall revisit and see how I feel.

Yes, expensive, but, look at what I’m paying for vs what I’m not paying for. If I’m going to work from home, this is the kind of home I want. I’m tired of living in crap holes and doing my own dishes. I just want to stare out this window and work while someone else cleans up after me. Good thing I can pay a professional to do exactly that, lol.

You know, if I was man, they would just call this having a wife. So, it is what it is. At least I recognize domestic labour for the hard work and dedicated service it is. That’s why I’m paying a professional to take care of my domestic space for me instead of enslaving someone through the outdated arrangement known as marriage.

It is what it is.

Okay, now I have motivation to work because I need to figure out how to keep up with the standard of living I have now set for myself. We all know men aren’t gonna help me with that, nor will my crazy family. I am on my own and proud to say, “Fuck all of you.”

Yes, we’ll see if I’m not begpacking in three months because I blew my budget on the fancy apartment I never leave because I’m too busy writing stories that make no money.

This time it’s different. This time, I’m not messing around at Bloody Mary’s. There’s no Andrew here to distract me. There’s no small town drama sucking me in. There’s no insane job or overbearing family or constant sources of stress. It’s just me, alone, in this apartment, sitting in front of my laptop, writing.

Hopefully this will produce better results than it did in 2016 and 2017. Wow, can you believe it was really that long ago? Where does the time go. Anyway, yes, I already made all of those mistakes in the U.S. Now I can afford to chill in Thailand for a minute and try writing again.

In the meantime, I’ll polish off the resume and look for other teaching jobs or remote work or something. I don’t know. I’ll figure it out. People do this all the time. If these gross troglodytes from Reddit can do it while taking drugs and supporting the local sex work economy, then I can do it California Sober, alone in my fancy serviced apartment that I’m paying a lot of money for.

By the way, don’t come to Thailand thinking you can live on $500/month. You can’t. That was like 25 years ago, maybe. Now? They got dat big tourism money, baby. You’re looking at around $1000/month for a serviced apartment in the city with all the amenities. That’s just the rent for a temporary short-stay under a 90-day tourism visa.

These are the facts people want me to write about. Not whatever dumb crap is floating in my head. People need to know the reality behind this lifestyle. I am here to report on it. I need to reorganize my website and remember who I am and just get my shit all together.

Okay, I’ve got my priorities in order, I think. Time to settle in and get some shit done, starting with figuring out how to get the wifi working on my actual laptop instead of just my iPad. That would be very helpful. Again, haunted hotel, so the wifi is frequently more shifty than not. I will get it all figured out.

—-

I just went and renew es my stay for another week. I’m not gonna lie to you, it stung hard to run that credit card. It has cost me two months of my rent in South Dakota to pay for two weeks here. Reality bites, but here it is in its rawest form.

Here is the universal truth of the world right now: real estate is expensive everywhere.

Here’s the other side of reality: I don’t have to live in that underdeveloped MAGA shithole anymore. There, it’s 1895. Here, it’s 2025. Maybe. I’m not sure, actually. I think they have a different way of measuring time.

I need to do more research on Thailand, to be honest with you. I didn’t do much before I came here. I literally just caught the first flight out of Hong Kong that same day.

In a way, I’m glad I started in Hong Kong. That’s the top of the ladder right there. I fell down a few stairs and landed in Thailand. Now life seems much easier everywhere compares to Hong Kong. It was a good lesson to learn. Important.

Well, now that I am feeling the financial sting of freedom and independence, I guess it’s time to get back to work, whatever that means. I wish I had all of my notes with me. So stupid, so dumb. I can’t believe I left them in Chicago where they would be safe with my brother in case I lost my luggage somehow.

I guess I can just ask him to scan my notes for me whenever he has free time…

For now, I will focus on what’s important: being feminist and subversive by writing romcoms about a white American woman who dates hot brown guys from all over the world. Just imagine all the faces that will be melting off worldwide. So controversial! and the sex scenes! Wow! So hot! You can really tell they hired a professional intimacy coordinator to be present on set to make sure everyone stays safe.

Yeh, we’ll see how it goes. Maybe this time I will actually write something worth selling. I’ve had a lot of false starts and dead stories that went nowhere. I have a pile of manuscripts in a box I left at home in the U.S., just sitting there, unwanted and unused.

Well, this is a pleasant surprise after five years of unproductive nothingness. No inspiration, only tragedy. Now, after all of that, I’m sitting on a rooftop in Bangkok, looking out over the city, still believing in the same dream I’ve always had for as long as I can remember: to become a Writer Extraordinaire!