Wednesday afternoon. Chilling by the pool. Enjoying the view of the Burj Khalifa and the rest of the Dubai skyline. Just got the best news ever and I am over the moon! What is the news, you ask? The news is that I FINALLY got my housing assignment for Hong Kong!
Let me preface this by saying I had no idea where they were going to put me. I didn’t get a choice. Based on my conversation with another teacher there, I thought I was going to be further out in the New Territories or in Kowloon. I did not think for even one minute that I would actually be living on Hong Kong Island itself.
Not only am I living on Hong Kong Island, but I am living close to a very, very, very famous, iconic location! And that location is…
Drumroll, please…
…
……
………
Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it…
It’s…
TIMES SQUARE!!!!!!!
YAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
I am RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF ALL THE ACTION! It’s a full-on concrete jungle. It’s the literal, exact polar opposite of Bumfucknowhereville, South Dakota. I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so excited!!!!
I’m living in Times Square, Hong Kong!
Okay. Technically the neighborhood is called Causeway Bay, and Times Square is just the closest shopping mall/office complex, and it’s not that historic, but… it’s still fun to say I’m living in Times Square!
Whoever said karma was real was correct. Clearly I went through all of that bullshit for a reason. And that reason was to collect enough credits to live in one of the hottest locations on PLANET EARTH! Hong Kong *is* expensive, after all. Feels like I’ve been earning those karma credits for a lifetime.
*dances around the pool to New York, New York while the staff all join together for a kickline in the background*
Oh you know I’m about to ride the ding dings everywhere. Top row of the double decker, every day. Always.
I’m so excited!
Yeah I am living right between a mall and the horse race track. I feel like the ghost of Mad Dog is the one who contributed that idea to the conversation. First my dad was like, “Put her right in the middle of the city!” Then my grandma was like, “Make it Times Square!” And then Mad Dog goes, “Put her by the race track so she can see the horses. She likes horses. I’ll whisper the winner’s names in her ears so she can win the big bucks on Derby Day!”
Hey, don’t look at me like that. People deal with death in all kinda of crazy ways. If I want to turn my dead ancestors into a team of characters in conversation with each other, I am fully within my rights to do that if it helps me cope with my grief in a healthy way.
Yeah, like, wow. Wow. Just wow. It’s actually real now! It was kinda real before, but now that I know where I’m actually living, it’s real AF. It’s actually real! I’m moving to Hong Kong! Next week! For a year! Ahhhhhhhh!
Oh happy day. It is truly a beautiful, happy day.
Gosh, for a minute there I completely forgot I even came here with a guy or that he left and ghosted me. Wow, who gives a fuck? What kind of moron throws away an opportunity like this? An immature manchild in desperate need of a mommy to do everything for him. That’s who.
So happy. I should stop writing now and just relax in the sun and just be happy. Let the happiness wash all over me.
Why am I happy?
Because I am living in Times Square!!!!!!!!!!!
Deliriously happy. I earned this. I deserve this. Time to go live my best life!