Wednesday night.

Back at the American Bar. I decided to come here every night this week just to see what happens. I was a little unsure after the shitshow that took place last night, but then I thought… why not?

As it turns out, it’s totally fucking dead tonight. There is no one here. It’s basically silent and totally chill. Where was this energy when I needed it to get laid last night? Unbelievable.

Just unbelievable.

They say everything happens for a reason. I guess last night’s insanity happened for a reason. And that reason was to stop me from getting laid, apparently. Wonderful. Just wonderful.

I’m still processing the whole existence of that guy. I really thought guys like that were just creatures from the internet, but oh, no, they are totally 100% real. Yes they are.

And now I am just sitting here more disillusioned with men than ever.

I swear to god… if I ever meet a guy who just wants to bang me five times a day instead of becoming yet another storybook character, well… I will definitely be banging him like five times day minimum. Someone better appear to swoop in here fast because I am dying of thirst out here on this deserted island. Scorpios are not meant to be sexually deprived in this way. I can’t take it any longer. I’m not okay. I’m just not okay. I need a dick inside of me on a regular basis.

It’s just not fair.

All I’ve learned from this experience is that I am more likely to get the amount of sex I desire if I just charge men a companion fee right up front. Like, you better me a Birkin or get the fuck out. And then I can get laid? I guess?

No, that doesn’t feel right.

I am learning the wrong lessons over here. I don’t know what to make of the mess that is human relationships anymore. All I know is that whatever it is I’m doing is not working for me and I need to change up my tactic fast. Like, come on, Betsey, you read The Art of War on the plane ride over here. Get it together. You can’t be losing the battle of the sexes to whatever the fuck that shit even was last night. You need to get your head in the game and start demanding that daily dose of dicking down you so desperately deserve.

I’m still sitting here like, “What was that?” Literally all this guy did last night was talk at me, refuse to let me speak whatsoever, project his theories about my thoughts onto me, and then argue with himself while I sat there and watched. And then I had to stand there with a polite smile on my face as he mansplained to me that the reason he needs to pay Thai girls half his age to suck to dick is because women like me never listen to men like him. But if he had listened to me for even five minutes, he would know that all I really wanted from him was to fuck him multiple times a day just like he said he wanted.

Then he capped it all off by saying I could just fuck any of the old men at the bar and I have no shortage of options. It was just like… wow… that is so incredibly offensive to me. Like, yeah, sure, because I’ll just go home with anyone, right? My choice in you had nothing to do with the fact that you’re 42, educated, established in your career, speak multiple languages, and have been living abroad for over a decade. Nope, didn’t think about anything like that at all. I’ll just go home with any old gross loser from the bar.

Right.

I just don’t even know what happened or even what that was. All I know is that it was stupid and ridiculous.

At least the Rare Pokémon left me with a magical memory that will last a lifetime. This British Guy just kept getting worse as time went on. These cats may both look grey in the dark, but they definitely don’t look the same once the lights come on.

This is so unfortunate. Here I was really thinking I was going to move to Hong Kong and start a new job and a new life and instead I’m here in Bangkok writing about the grossness of Passport Bros on my fucking blog that I don’t even monetize because I’m an idiot.

This is not the experience I signed up for.

What am I doing with my life? I have no idea. I need to get my shit together and figure it out fast because I cannot do this anymore.

Off now. Going to head home and try to forget about whatever the fuck that shit even was.