Monday night. Wow, what a day. So crazy.
Somehow ready to go back to the shala tomorrow for more in spite of the accident today. Everything turned out okay in the end. The student came back from the ER feeling a bit sore but without any permanent, lasting damage. All of the people who were more worried about “taking care of themselves first” went to Ubud to get massages or whatever, leaving her, myself, our other neighbor, and the other chick in our Yin class to have a nice dinner together to celebrate her recovery.
The other Yin student showed us a video from the “cacao ceremony” I skipped last night and omg, LOL! It was definitely giving creepy cult vibes. Even the dog had a look on its face like o__O. It definitely looked like it was questioning whether or not its owner was in a cult, lol. It gave us all the much-needed aching belly laugh we needed after today.
I knew that place gave me weird vibes the first time I walked in there. Now I’ve seen the videos and I’m like, “Yeah, there’s definitely a reason I feel super uncomfortable whenever I try to go in there. I’ve seen too many cult documentaries to fall for this shit. Imma head out!” Looks like I made the right call on that one.
After dinner, we all parted ways and returned to our rooms for some quiet time. I finally got a chance to look at the photos and videos of myself doing Aerial today. I don’t normally take photos of myself doing yoga, so it was a weird experience to be like, “Wow, that’s me up there doing all that crazy shit with my body that I never thought I could do. Wow. That’s me. I’m doing that.”
It’s awesome, especially considering the fact that yesterday I felt like a total failure who couldn’t do shit. Totally defeated. But now? I am the motherfucking Dragon. Watch out, biatch! Here I come!
Okay, so I hate all of the corruption and exploitation I’ve encountered so far in SEA, but this trip has definitely helped me build my confidence back up to where it should be after spending way too long in that fucking shithole South Dakota.
I look good, I feel good, I’m strong, I’m powerful, I’m brave. I’ve gotten myself in and out of some dicey situations. I’ve gone out with some pretty hot guys, which was especially self-esteem boosting after being treated like Persona Non-Grata by the local townie trash for so many years. I’ve gotten new stamps on my passport. I feel happy and confident and free!
I am Free!
I can’t believe how healthy and happy I look. Like, wow, that’s me. I can’t believe it. I didn’t know I could smile like that. I didn’t know I could be happy like that. I didn’t know I could feel confident in myself. It feels great. See what happens when you remove yourself from toxic situations and people? You finally get your chance to shine!
Oh, if only my evil mother could see me now. She would 100% have a screaming meltdown and immediately try to tear me apart and break my confidence down. Well, guess what, mom? That shit doesn’t work on me anymore. I can fly! And you know what I’m gonna do now? Fly as far the fuck away from you and your untreated mental illness as possible. Bye, Felicia!
I’ve been pitching my book idea around to random people and they all want to read it! Hahaha, suck a big fat one, Bloody Mary’s! You lost that war. You did. You lost. And not only did you lose, but you made a total ass of yourselves while losing. Awwww. Sucks to suck, I guess. Hashtag Karma!!!!!
I’m in such a good mood. I can fly! Do you even realize how much fucking bullshit I’ve had to overcome to get to this point? This is a real life victory right now.
Vibing. Loving life. Thank you, Bali!