Monday afternoon. Sitting here at my desk, writing. Somewhat annoyed because Andrew has officially decided to make a reappearance. At least it’s a distraction?

Well, this is not entirely unexpected. As I said, the character never actually went away. You see, the real person and I have nothing to do with each other, which is great because he sucks. However, this character lingers, and has done so for almost ten years now, so whatever. It helps me create. He’s like a little pet golden retriever. He is the mascot of BetseyHorton.com. He is the Muse.

Today he appeared while I was writing and was like, “You should write about me instead of thinking about these guys. I’m a safe space. You’ve already written thousands of pages about me. I am the one you need to be thinking about. Don’t worry about these random guys you will not see anymore. Just focus on me. Write stories about me.”

Here’s the problem: no one is interested in reading about Andrew. No one. No one except for me. He exists only to entertain me. I guess he gets me writing, at least. But what else do I write about except for the stream of consciousness in my head? No one cares about that either.

He is now claiming to be the character from the mini story in Dubai I wrote a month ago. He says that he’s, he was actually wearing one of his disguises and that he used my experience there as a way to slither his way back into my storyline. I went back and read it and realized… oh… yeah, this has Andrew written all over it. He’s playing the Sexy Stranger Game. That’s his favourite. He’s just doing in Dubai.

Ugh.

He gets me with that every time. I always fall for it! I always think I’m writing a new character and it turns out to just be him wearing another Scooby Doo mask. It’s actually unhinged. Who the hell is this guy?

I just keep writing and producing nothing but piles of junk and garbage and trash. It’s so frustrating. What am I even doing right now? I can’t find a job that I can do, I can’t get any income going, I can’t write anything worthwhile, I can’t find a guy that is gonna stick around. I’m totally failing at life right now. It doesn’t feel great!

I don’t feel well. I’m a mix of depressed and tired and generally feeling icky due to women’s problems. I am going to lie down and rest and try to feel less bad about my life and constantly falling flat on my face.