Saturday morning. Sitting on the rooftop with a j. Enjoying my last weekend in Thailand, for now.

I did nothing last night except fall asleep early. I feel kinda bad because the guy texted me again to hook up and I missed his message because I fell asleep at 9:30pm like an old person, which I am.

I did return to the American dive bar to grab a quick comfort dinner, just to check up on it again in the not-so-light of not-day. The bartender and I had a laugh about the last time she saw me, which was leaving with the hot guy last night.

The regulars were there. I could tell they were regulars because they had the regular vibe. Anyone who has hung out in a bar knows the regular vibe. It left a lot to be desired, as it was mostly old men. I definitely got lucky the other night when I went. Looks like I found a rare pokemon! Go me!

Well, the whole Rooftop Krewe has now departed from the hotel. It’s just me again now, all alone and looking out over the city, reflecting on the month that has been and looking ahead to the month that will be. Goodbye luxury high-rise city life, hello yoga shala in the mountains!

And then what? Maybe we’ll try out beach bum surfer life. Who knows?

I’m going to get a coffee now. Maybe I will write more at the coffee stand.

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Currently sitting at the coffee stand, watching the insane Saturday morning traffic go by. The big drama of the morning is the tree-wire crossover event that has taken the block by storm. Somehow very entertaining to watch when not involved.

Overall, I like Thailand, but I am not sure about staying here for too long. I feel very grateful I got to live here for a whole month and live a fabulous high-rise luxury lifestyle. However, I do feel the need to move on. I just don’t know where I’m going after India, but it’s okay because I have a month to decide. Preferably I am getting paid in the next place I go, but volunteering is also an option as well. I have found quite a few places that house you and feed you in exchange for teaching yoga classes. This could also buy me some time while gaining me valuable experience.

Again, it’s just a matter of choosing a destination on the map. Don’t want to make jet lag too much of an issue this time, so I need to be smart. Right now it’s really a matter of… do I want to stay in the East or work my way back through the West? Guess it just depends which way the wind blows…

I still haven’t gotten on one of the motorcycles. I am just so not into it, you guys. Terrified. I did ride one in India, which was also terrifying. I do not think I am brave enough on this trip for that.

Testing out my new yoga pants today. They are indeed very comfortable in the southeast Asian heat. Seriously thinking about going back to the market to buy three more sets with different style tops in different colors. They had every color of the rainbow. I chose purple (because I am a Princess, lol) and a black/pink combo.

Ugh, I love clothes. I can’t help myself. I am literally standing in the middle of a marketplace that is just heaps of leftover trash from western factories that cost me pennies on the dollar and I still can’t get enough. I am sick. I am disgusting. I am 100% part of the problem. That being said… please just bury me in textiles because I am in heaven on earth.

I don’t even care about luxury designer goods. Who cares? It’s all so pastiche. Perhaps the name Chanel meant something once, but now it’s all just a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy, made for mass consumption, produced on a Chinese factory line. There is not art in it at all anymore. No commentary, no meaning. Definitely less controversy. I don’t agree with her politics, but I do understand why someone would choose to stay in a hotel under enemy control specifically so they could gain their trust, listen in on all the conversations, and sell the information in exchange for freedom later. It is what it is, especially when you’re a woman with very limited options in the world.

For me, it’s about the colors, the patterns, the fabrics, the art, the expression, the styles, the draping, the design, the glitter, the beading, the embroidery, the hand-stitching, the weaving, just everything. Just everything. I love it all. Bury me in textiles because I am in heaven on earth.

Speaking of being buried in textiles, I should return to the hotel and start sorting through my clothes. I brought so much extra shit I didn’t need, plus I bought some new items. I have to purge before I go to India. Luckily, there are some clothing recycling options around, so the old items have a place to go. Where they go from said bins, I do not know. Probably to the bottom of the sea somewhere off the coast of Ghana. Ugh, I feel physically ill whenever I think about the whole chain of events, the whole toxic cycle. I am part of the problem.

So depressing to think about. Ugh.

My lifestyle is unsustainable. It’s a real problem. This is why I must go to the yoga shala. I must learn a different way of existing in this world.

That being said, I still want to be buried in textiles. Just let me dive right into that pile of clothes headfirst. I effing love it.