Sunday.

Here we are at brunch. I’m still trying to finish my episode of the Island of Lost Guys. It’s just about done. I just can’t get those last little bits connected for whatever reason. I’ve been working on it since Wednesday.

I decided to wander back up to the Secret Society last night. I got there pretty late, so I wasn’t expecting much. I saw my Irish friend and my “Uncle,” who is an English banker. He is the one who gave me the stack of spy novels.

I chatted with the two of them for a bit. Once again, I asked my Uncle why he and his associates seem to be so welcoming of me in their club. He explained it to me this way:

“You have no idea what my days are like. I sit and stare at spreadsheets all day long. I’m working 13, 14, 15 hours a day. I barely talk to anyone at the office. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I’m not a creative person. I could never do what you do. You’re so alive. You have interesting stories to tell, you can carry on a conversation with just about anyone, and you’re funny as fuck. I didn’t like you at first, but as I’ve gotten to know you better, I find you to be extremely entertaining. You bring light to an otherwise dreary day.”

Awwwwww! That’s so sweet!

But also, that does officially make me the Court Jester, as I said in my previous post. Since this is such an illustrious post, I just have one question and one question only: when do I get paid?

Meanwhile, my neighbor is sitting on the other side of the wall like, “I hear that!”

I seriously haven’t seen him in like a month now. He straight-up pulled a vanishing act on me. It’s incredible. True talent, right there. Love him in his new role as the Invisible Man. It’s really doing it for me, haha. I can tell he’s really committed to this role. What can I say? I inspire the best in people. I’m definitely bringing out the best his acting abilities have to offer, lol.

Well, inevitably, I couldn’t handle the obsession anymore, so I made the decision to get under someone else. Enter Some Random Stranger. I don’t know his name, I don’t know what he does, I don’t even know where he’s from. Nothing. I know nothing, and I don’t care. The less I know about him, the better. I have zero interest in adding another character to my roster. I just wanted to get laid.

I’m just gonna say that he definitely looks like he could be a rugby player. Therefore, we’re just gonna say he’s a rugby player. An international rugby player who travels all over the world. So, you know, obviously I let him go ahead and tackle me to the ground. And now I’m about to go do it again. It is what it is!

My goal here is really just to forget about my neighbor, because it’s become very obvious this movie ends with me going to Cambodia and whispering his name into a temple. It is what it is.

So I’ll just go get this itch scratched and hopefully we can forget all of this ever happened. Then I will be free from distractions and get back to writing my book.

Okay, that’s all for now. I have a story to finish…