Scripts - Betsey Horton

SCRIPT: Levi’s Big Halftime Show

Posted on April 11, 2024April 12, 2024 by Betsey Horton

Meanwhile, in a small town in the middle of nowhere... Our scene opens with a wide shot of a basketball arena with a crowd split into two: Red vs Blue. The game has reached its midpoint. It's time for the big halftime show. Turns out the Marching Band was already...Read More

STORY: The Not-So-Secret Holiday Affair

Posted on January 11, 2024May 4, 2024 by Betsey Horton

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This story has recently been updated due to real life shit. ———— Well, that just happened. It was completely ridiculous, but it happened. And now it's over. Or is it just beginning now with me sitting down to write the story? Either way, it's gonna be a short...Read More

SCRIPT: Squirrel!!!

Posted on October 30, 2023April 13, 2024 by Betsey Horton

On Monday morning, Betsey Horton, Writer Extraordinaire, wakes from a series of very strange dreams. She performs her usual morning routine of brushing her teeth, making coffee, feeding the cat, and watering the plants, but deep down inside she already knows it's not going to be the normal day she...Read More

SCRIPT: Betsey Returns to the Island

Posted on May 14, 2020 by Betsey Horton

Author's Note: This was originally written in October 2018. I didn't publish it because assholes were causing me a lot of problems at the time. Also, I'm not sure where to go with it. Should I continue the series, or should I abandon the Island of Lost Guys forever? Please...Read More

SCRIPT: Retail Apocalyse

Posted on May 10, 2020 by Betsey Horton

Author’s Note: I wrote this because I am a lifelong shopaholic/mall rat who started working retail in 2007, watched all of these companies burn their businesses to the ground with crappy, unnecessary changes, and now lacks any kind of sympathy for any of them. Corporate Retailers: Why are we all...Read More

SCRIPT: Feed Your Ex To A Tiger

Posted on May 2, 2020 by Betsey Horton

Betsey is scrolling through Facebook when she comes upon an exciting ad: "CLICK HERE TO FEED YOUR EX TO A TIGER." Upon following the link, she finds an Exotic Cat Sanctuary page advertising a charity event. Web Page: Have you ever fantasized about feeding your ex to a tiger? Now...Read More

SCRIPT: Mad Dog’s Associations

Posted on February 25, 2018April 1, 2022 by Betsey Horton

INT: BLOODY MARY'S BAR - DAY Mad Dog is sitting at the end of the bar having a drink when Sam comes over to wash the dishes. Mad Dog: So... about that Super Bowl Party... Sam: Oh sorry, Pup, but you're not allowed to come anymore. Mad Dog: Why not?...Read More

SCRIPT: Lisa

Posted on December 8, 2017April 2, 2022 by Betsey Horton

Once upon a time, Bloody Mary's Bar was owned by a woman. This woman is the most badass motherfucker in all of the bar's history. This is the completely made-up version of her life story, as told by a writer who totally embarrassed herself after waiting years to finally meet...Read More

SCRIPT: That Awkward Moment…

Posted on July 21, 2017April 5, 2022 by Betsey Horton

Betsey is standing onstage in front of a huge audience, ranting about what a bunch of bullshit it is that she got kicked out of the bar again. Betsey: And then I told the Owner he could suck my dick! Suddenly, the audience gasps. They give her a look like...Read More

SCRIPT: Commercial Break

Posted on July 21, 2017April 2, 2022 by Betsey Horton

Everyone is sitting at Bloody Mary's Bar minding their own business, except for Betsey. Suddenly, she looks up from her notebook and right into the camera at the audience. Betsey: We interrupt this episode of Betsey at the Bar to bring you a special message from our sponsors. The scene changes...Read More

Betsey Horton

Writer Extraordinaire

Category: Scripts