Friday.

At the Secret Society.

I should be socializing right now, but I had to get all of my thoughts out of my head first. It’s been a very long day…

Hmmm…

Where exactly does said day begin?

Where did I leave off last? I think it was… Wednesday?

Yes, that sounds right.

Okay, so I did nothing on Wednesday but take time to recover from that absurd argument with my absolutely ridiculous family. That conversation made me ask myself, “How the fuck did this bitch even get into law school when she never even asks any questions?”

She just comes at me with all of these absolutely insane assumptions. She doesn’t even take her time to do her research at all. How can I even have a conversation with someone when they literally do not acknowledge my reality at all?

Anyway, yeah, that was insane. All of them are insane. I’m so grateful the chances of ever seeing them again are as low as they are. Even having to stand in the same room as them is just… grating.

Okay, so… what did I do on Thursday? Oh, right, I got my financial shit together, sort of. Then I went out to the Secret Society to socialize. This is where my story really begins…

How did last night go?

Hmm…

Let me try to remember…

Well, it started with me sitting down next to this guy who I can only describe as the Irish Slytherin. Slytherin McSlithery, if you will, haha. He definitely doesn’t like me. Every time I see him, he makes a cringey face at me. I called him out on it last night. I did an imitation of said face and said, “I love the fact that every time I see you, you make a face at me like this. So honest. So real. I really appreciate that about you.”

He just narrowed his eyes and made the same face at me again, lol. He’s actually sitting across the way from me right now. He already asked to borrow my lighter. I lent it to him because I don’t have any hard feelings about it. It is what it is. I don’t give a fuck if he likes me.

Then I was greeted by Mr. Bathroom Guy, which, as we all know, I never really enjoy. I know in his culture they do the kiss-on-the-cheek thing, but he definitely tries to use that as an excuse to get super handsy with me. I’ve told him not to do it, but he doesn’t listen to me. It makes me uncomfortable. Everyone in the room can see it, so therefore it makes them uncomfortable. It’s just… uncomfortable. He just can’t keep his dirty little paws off of me. Hates it!

On this particular day, he used the opportunity to whisper in my ear, “Remember what I said to you to the other day?” Then he switched to the other side. “Remember the offer I made?”

Oh yes, I definitely remember that. As we all know, I wrote that shit down as soon as I escaped this place. And wouldn’t you know it? The answer is still… NO!

Ugh.

In case you’ve already forgotten, the offer this sleazeball made me was to find me a nicer apartment and pay for it on the condition that I essentially become his mistress. I said no for obvious reasons, the biggest being that I don’t actually like him! I’m not attracted to him at all. He’s so slimy and gross! My family just cut me off and I still won’t debase myself enough to sleep with him just to pay my rent.

Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing to watch this incredibly uncomfortable interaction as if they were waiting to see what I would do and say. I just made a cringey face behind his back and rolled my eyes. Next time I see him I just want to say, “Please don’t touch me like that again. I’ve asked you multiple times now to stop. Please just stop.”

Yeah, we’ll see if that actually works, haha.

Meanwhile, his lady friend (not the girlfriend) was watching this interaction with a look of pure jealousy on her face. Like, girl… I’ve told you before. If you want him, you can have him. Please take him away from me. I don’t like him at all. I only socialize with him because I have to. I am not into this man at all.

I’m still secretly obsessing over my neighbor, who has suddenly decided to appear three times this week after two months of nothing. Weird. I just glare at him and roll my eyes when I see him. I think we both know it’s just for show.

I think we also both know he looks absolutely ridiculous with his new bleach blonde hair. Like, what even is that look, bro? Did you pay actual money to get that terrible dye job, or did you just pour peroxide on your head after a bad day while listening to Eminem?

The world may never know. The only question we can ask now is…

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

Hahahahahaha!

I can’t.

I think he might actually be crazier than I am, which is… definitely some food for thought. Is this just another Andrew? Because I don’t think I can handle another Andrew.

Anyway…

Meanwhile, back at the Secret Society…

I chatted with one of the old Finance guys for awhile and asked him some finance questions that I already knew the answer to. I just wanted to make sure I was actually right and not deluding myself again. As per usual, I was right. I am definitely way smarter than any of the idiots in my family give me credit for. It is what it is.

Hmmm… then that lawyer kid was here. He’s pretty chill. He’s super young but it’s cool.

Hmm… that’s all I remember for now. Who else is in this room right now?

Oh yes, I completely failed to mention the fact that the writer guy whose identity I was investigating a few weeks ago was here on Monday. He acted like a total fucking misogynist jerk to me. He also mansplained how to open a jar to the bartender after she had already opened said jar, which was just… annoying. I guess that’s why they say the phrase, “Don’t ever meet your heroes.”

He’s actually here right now. I have no interest in talking to him anymore. I tried to talk to him the other day and he was pretty rude to me. He was telling me to stop talking and making side-jokes to his friend about how women should be silent and obedient and that’s why he married his Japanese wife. So Gross, I know.

It’s just like… jail… straight to jail.

That happened before he mansplained how to open the jar to the bartender. Once he did that, it was game over for me forever. I have zero interest in ever engaging him again. It is what it is.

Hmm…

I tried not to stay out late last night. In fact, my lawyer friend walked me back down the hill to the Cantina so I could introduce him to my friends there. He said he likes to go there and write sometimes, so I thought it was a good idea to introduce him to the staff. Everyone got along, which was grand.

I was on my way home when the SoHo Queen spotted me and dragged me into whichever bar she was in on Peel Street. We had a drink and then she dragged me over to a French bar, where she introduced me to several Frenchmen I’ve never met before.

It’s funny how the different expat bubbles work here. Usually I do not meet French people, even though there many of them here. The Secret Society is generally a place where English speakers hang out, meaning it’s primarily English, Irish, Scotch, Aussie, Canadian, and American. The French have their own spots in HK. It is what it is.

I do not remember much about this part of the night except for the fact that I attempted to use my broken French and they weren’t mad about it. This is the first time in my life I’ve spoken to a French person without them getting angry, correcting me, or them changing the language to English. I understand far more than I can speak, so I told them just to speak in French and I would respond in French or English depending on how deep I needed to go in thought. It went pretty well, I think. Then again, we were all pretty drunk at that point, so who really knows?

I find French people in HK are generally way chiller than French people in France. That’s why they’re here, after all. They didn’t come here because they only want to speak French to French people. They come here because want to mix with an international community. That’s why all the expats come here. That’s definitely why I came here.

At some point I decided to wander home and go to sleep. Sometime during the night, I had a nightmare and woke up screaming. I have no idea what the nightmare was about. I don’t remember it at all. The only reason I know I had a nightmare is because I woke up screaming “NO, NO, NO! I WON’T GO BACK! I WON’T GO BACK!” I jumped out of bed and immediately started crying. It took a minute to realize I was actually in the middle of a full-blown panic attack. Grand!

It took some time for me to recover from said panic attack. Usually I can talk myself through it, but I had trouble this time because I had no idea what I was melting down over in the first place. Yeah, it sucked. No idea what triggered it or what it was about. I can only imagine it involved my family or South Dakota. That’s usually what my nightmares are about.

I had a To Do list I was planning to work through today, but I was so distressed about my unknown nightmare and subsequent panic attack that I had to take another day to recover. I just stayed in bed and watched Disney movies all day. Then I finally got up, showered, got dressed, went to grab some food, and made my way up here.

All of the regulars are here, but I honestly don’t feel like socializing with anyone at all. I thought I did but now that I’m here, I just want to go home and put on my annoyingly hot neighbor’s sweatpants and go to bed. I do have a long day on Lamma Island planned for tomorrow, after all.

Yeah, I’m not even drinking my drink right now. I’m just sitting here in the corner typing away and side-eyeing Slytherin McSlithery for blatantly stealing my lighter from me. So annoying. I better get that back before he wanders off with it.

Hmm… was there anything else I wanted to say? I don’t think so. I just had to get all of the thoughts out of my head before I started chatting with everyone. I guess I’ve done that now.

I guess I’m off to do that now. I have to pretend like my life isn’t falling apart and that I actually find their finance chat interesting. Yawn. Like I said… I think I’d rather be at home right now, even though Mr. Next Door is literally fucking driving me crazy by just silently existing on the other side of the wall.

Ugh.

Okay, off now. Ta ta!