Tuesday.

Here I am, downstairs at the deli around the corner. It’s raining cats and dogs here in Hong Kong this week. Can’t wait for my journey to Macao tomorrow through the choppy waves of the treacherous, stormy seas.

I decided to book myself a significantly discounted luxury hotel room just so I don’t have to make that journey twice in one day. The room has a giant bathtub just for me. The best part is, I don’t have to ask a man for permission to use it. No men allowed in my temporary sanctuary. Just me and my giant tub and balcony with a front row view of the storms blowing in over the sea.

Should be a good time.

I am supposed to attend the Secret Society Quiz Night tonight. I’m totally freaking out, of course. My anxiety says, “No, don’t do it, don’t go!” but my sense of etiquette and decorum says, “They already booked the table so it will be extremely rude to stand them up.”

What’s the worst that could happen? They end up hating me, it doesn’t work out, I finally just decide to give up on this venture, and then I leave Hong Kong? Meh. There are worse fates than choosing a random destination, flying there on a whim, and trying to start over once again. At least I made it this far.

I can’t believe I came to Hong Kong one year ago tomorrow. That is wild to me! I never, ever could have imagined I would live here, or in Bangkok. It’s wild. So wild. I might not always have made the best choices along the way, but at least I’m in control of my destiny now.

Do I have any regrets? Not really. I learned a lot from the mistakes I made this year. Mostly, I’m just happy to be here. I overcame a lot to make it this far.

I still can’t believe I finally escaped from my old life. Some days I just sit in my apartment in a state of freeze, just processing the fact that I never have to go back to my old life ever again.

No more South Dakota. No more overly controlling family. No mentally ill mother destroying every attempt I make to grow, change, and get better. No small-minded townies causing endless drama when all I want is a fucking paycheck. It’s all over. It’s all gone. I will never live that sad, miserable, depressing life that felt more like a prison sentence ever again.

My life is mine now. I am free to choose. I am free to be who I want to be.

I am free, I am free, I am free!