Thursday. Can’t believe time is moving so fast. It’s my father’s birthday today. Just saying.

Didn’t sleep much last night. Finally fell asleep and was promptly awoken by the fire alarm going off. It scared the shit out of me, tbh. My immediate thought process went straight to “bomb.” I didn’t know what it was until I ran to the door and discovered a little note saying they were doing tests on the fire alarm system from 7am to noon. Why they chose such an inconvenient time to do this, I have no idea. My only guess is that it motivates people to get out of bed and go to breakfast, lol. Well, it worked. I couldn’t fall back asleep, so off to breakfast I went.

The breakfast buffet was incredible. I went all out on the pastry, cheese, fruit, yogurt, and juice bars. I just kept eating and eating. When I stopped, I suddenly felt so guilty. How can I sit here and gorge myself on all this luxury while millions of Palestinians have been forced to flee their homes and are living in deplorable conditions? It doesn’t feel right. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It’s all over Al Jazeera right now. How can I eat like this when so many children are dying? It just makes me feel sick.

My plan for the day was to live my best spa/shopping/restaurant life. Feeling somewhat put off the idea now. I can’t stop thinking about Palestine. It’s like I can feel their suffering. It’s just hanging in the air everywhere I go, like everyone here knows something terrible is happening but no one knows what to do to stop it. They’re all looking to us, the Americans, waiting for the President to finally stand up and say,

“Enough is enough. This isn’t about Hamas anymore. You’ve forced two million people to flee their homes and rounded them all up in a city you’re now planning to level to the ground. You’ve cut off the border so they can’t leave, even though they have nowhere to go. You’re blocking humanitarian aid so the people whose homes you’ve destroyed can’t eat, drink clean water, or find safe shelter. Mass graves full of decomposing bodies showing signs of horrific torture are being found around bombed out hospitals. The death toll is soaring. This is not about self-defense or self-preservation or whatever you’re pretending it is. This is about a full-scale takeover. This is about extermination. This is about wiping one group of people off the map forever so another group of people can take their land. This is genocide.”

Well, I’m an American and I’m taking a stand. This is my protest. If all I can offer is this post, let it be that. What is happening in Gaza right now is wrong. It’s just wrong! And to come from Israel, the Jews, this group of resilient people who survived a similar full-scale annihilation attempt? That is absolutely unacceptable. Yes, I do remember the people who died in The Holocaust. Do you? Do you really believe they would approve of this… whatever this is supposed to be? For as much as you bring it up, it doesn’t seem like you care too much when you’re doing the same thing to someone else. You said Never Again. Why is it happening again? What makes this group of people so different from yours? Religion? Culture? Language? The color of their skin? Why do these children deserve to die more than yours? Why?

I really hope the US finally takes a hardline and stops funding Israel’s military. Be a real friend, man. Show them their actions have consequences. Show them this behavior is not okay. They’re not going to stop until they’ve destroyed everything and killed everyone. They have made that very clear this week. It’s time to stop giving them endless supplies of weapons of mass destruction. They’ve proven they’re not responsible enough to have them.

Well, I know I can’t sit in my room all day and stew over this. What good will it do? There are so many people suffering through conflicts everywhere. Ukraine, Darfur, Myanmar, the list goes on and on and on. What good does it do to stay in bed? I am here now. I should go out and explore.

That being said… it’s not exactly the best time of day to venture outside. I already learned the hard way never to set foot outside during the daytime without my sunglasses. I swear to god, it felt like my eyes were melting right out of my skull. Never again. I understand why everyone wears the long robes now. I am also wearing one of my kimonos around, which I love because no one stares at me like it’s weird. Instead they stare at me like, “Girl, where’d you get that robe? Fabulous!” The answer is Forever 21, lol. But it looks like I could have bought it somewhere in the market, right? Yeahhhh! Love it!

So conflicted right now. Half of me wants to take a nap and venture out a bit later when it cools down, and half of me wants to go out right now. I’m just not sure I want to melt into a puddle under the hot noon sun. Seems like a power nap is the solution. I admit that I feel the jet-lag hard. I was looking forward to waking up this morning without a hangover, but I still felt like I got hit by a train because of the jet-lag. Ugh. I can’t win!!!! That’s why I was like, today is the spa/relaxation day and tomorrow is the adventure day. So I’m thinking… nap, pool, spa, food, shopping in the night market. I have the privilege to live this life. Should I not go live it now?

I don’t know.

Maybe I’ll perk up after my nap.

Or maybe… not.

#FreePalestine