BLOG: Save the Elephants

Friday night. Currently sitting in a cafe alone, writing and having dinner. I just needed to be alone for awhile to recharge. I’m not used to being around so many people all the time. I think I usually spend 90% of my time alone, so it’s quite a change to suddenly spend all my time around others.

I am definitely out of my comfort zone right now in more than one way. I don’t mind, though. That’s why I came here, after all. I wanted to do something radically different than whatever the fuck it was I was doing before.

I don’t miss South Dakota at all. Surprise! … Said no one ever. I hate that place so much, lol. I don’t even want to go back. Guess this is the motivation I needed to finally get off my ass and leave it behind forever. The world is a very big place. There’s so many different kinds of people and so many things to do. I was planning to leave before my dad died, but then I got stuck there yet again.

Next time, I won’t get stuck. I won’t get sucked back in to that stupid town with all its stupid people and their stupid little soap opera dramas. That shit is not normal!!!! None of it is normal!!!! Why are they all like that? I have no idea. I’m just grateful to be on the complete opposite side of the planet as that third world shithole.

I’m grateful for so much right now. I’m learning a lot, I’m pushing my limits, and I’m doing things I never thought I’d do. Like, I’m actually thinking about going into the tattoo shop across from the beach and just getting a little lotus flower. I don’t have any tattoos, btw. I thought about getting them before, but I could never decide. It seems so easy here. The tagline on the store is even, “Don’t think, just do it.” Lol! Who cares if it’s cheesy? I’ve seen so many hilariously bad tattoos in my life. Who is anyone to judge anyone else for such a thing these days?

Jeez, who am I? One week in India and I’m taking selfies with cows, making friends with beach dogs, doing crazy acrobatic tricks, showering with a bucket, eating whatever is put in front of me, and thinking about getting a tattoo. I’m a free woman now! I get to live my life! I get to do whatever the fuck I want without coming home to my evil mother screaming at me. What will I do next?!

I had my Indian birth chart done today. It’s 55 pages long! If you’re into astrology, it’s totally worth it to sit down and get one done. It had so much stuff on there I’ve never even seen before. It was extremely detailed. It even included solutions to potential problems I may encounter in life.

One solution for my misfortunes in love and upcoming late-in-life marriage (both of which were apparently destined all along) is to keep ivory in my house. I was horrified by such a suggestion. How dare you suggest that my problems with men can be solved by supporting the black market ivory trade that is directly responsible for the murder of hundreds to thousands of elephants per year? Forget the men! Save the elephants, ya’ll! I’m perfectly happy to suffer in love if it means preserving the dignity and humanity of one of the most amazing creatures on planet Earth.

I think Ganesha (the very popular elephant-headed Hindu god) would approve. We are totes vibing right now, you guys. He’s the god of writing. He invented the Sanskrit alphabet. I bought a tie-die beach blanket with him on it. You know, like the kind my weed dealers in college had hanging up on the wall, lol. It’s cheesy but I love it. It’s a vibe. Inspire me with the power of a thousand suns, o long-trunked god. In return, I will help preserve this beautiful endangered species from the evils of poaching. Om!

Omg, somehow this guy just found me here. I think he might be obsessed with me. He said he was a Scorpio but when I looked at his birth chart I saw he was actually a Pisces in Western astrology. Clingy AF.

Guess I have to go entertain him now. Sigh. He says he bought me gifts at the market. Haha, well, at least he acknowledges I exist, unlike the last guy. I guess it’s nice to have someone pay attention to me for once. *shrug*

Have a good night. Will write again tomorrow.

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