Friday. 5am. Website stats have exploded in the last 48 hours. Excellent. Everything is going according to plan. I like to see that.
Woke up in the night and made a few small edits to my little script. Just had to remove some references to certain things just to make sure I cover myself legally. Sometimes it’s more than just changing names, as I am learning.
Just to catch y’all up, this most recent script I wrote is based on something dumb I did over the holiday break. I was very sad and lonely and kinda drunk and sorta let this random guy at the bar get in my ear and tell me lies and yeah, I was dumb. He told me a story about his life that wasn’t real. You know, the old “I’m so lonely and neglected and getting divorced” sob story. LIES! I should have known better, but I didn’t. And hey, he’s the one who is 20 years older than me, married for the second time, and using his position of power to gain influence over me, so… Team No One. So I slept with him a few times before I discovered he spends his one free night a week going downtown and hitting on college girls at the bars. Barf! After holding off for awhile, I finally did the right thing and told his wife. Then I found out later that the reason his first wife and him divorced was because she cheated on him. So basically, this is a cycle of trauma with no winners at all. Team No One! Team No One, indeed.
Yeah, so that’s real. Have fun figuring out who that guy is. Personally I think I gave it away with the jokes about his haircut and height, but that’s just me. Anyway, I was feeling like total garbage about this entire situation that I stepped into. I mean, I literally do not know any of these people at all. I have no connection to them as far as I can tell. This man and I could not be two more opposite people. We have nothing in common except a fondness for that ridiculous bar. And basketball, obviously. Otherwise, I can’t really explain why or how this happened other than “sometimes people get sad and lonely at Christmastime.” Ridiculous.
As I said, I’ve been feeling like garbage about this. Just awful. I’m particularly upset because I did not want this. Like, at all. I kinda had a different idea in my mind of what this was going to look like. Clearly I was wrong and should not have been projecting that onto him, but you know, like I said, he probably shouldn’t be creeping around the bars late at night looking for college girls to send his dick pics to on Snapchat. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
After writing that story, I do feel a tiny bit better. I mean, I think he got what he deserved as far as the story goes. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in several months now, so I have no idea how the situation turned out after I contacted his wife. I can only imagine what I would do if I was her. I left out the epilogue where I imagined her treating herself to a brand new convertible to put in the garage in her brand new beachfront condo to the tune of “Hit ‘Em Up Style” by Blu Cantrell, but that’s generally what I imagine. In other words, I wish her the best. I think it’s quite obvious we all deserve better than this scumbag. But hey, if she really wants to stay and work it out with him… uhhh… good luck with that, I guess?
I hope now this ghost will finally stop haunting me. I wish I had made a different choice, but at the same time, I really feel like everyone involved learned a very important lesson here. What did I learn? Uhh, well, not much, honestly. This whole thing just kinda reaffirmed my beliefs about men in general. I understand now that I’m not really capable of having a healthy relationship simply because I don’t know how. That’s not something I’ve ever had before. I don’t know what that looks like. I don’t know what that means. This guy and I hooked up for like, two months. Not even. Barely. More like one. And that’s a long time for me! One month is about average, yeah. I haven’t been with anyone since before Covid. The guy I was with right before the pandemic was also way older and married. Not an appropriate relationship. I don’t like to talk about it because I’m not proud of it, and yes, drugs and alcohol were involved with it. And before that? Another guy who was 20 years older than me, used to be my Boss, and had an extreme fondness for bourbon. And before that? Well, just look at the Island of Lost of Guys. I don’t pick winners, okay? I scrape up losers from the bottom of the barrel. My self-esteem is so low, I will accept attention from anybody. It’s sad. That’s how I ended up in the middle of this gross, messy situation with this gross, messy goober of a guy. So yeah, lesson learned. Just stay away from men and I’ll be happier. The End.
Anyway, it’s nice to know I have resolved my long-time fixation problem by developing the ability to turn these guys into literal cartoon characters and writing silly stories about them. No need to fixate anymore! Just move onto the next one… or not! Maybe focus on more productive things, like getting my shit together and finding a job and going back to school. You know, generally being a healthy human being who actually achieves her goals and dreams instead of a sad loser who cries at the bar all alone. Reasonable!
Going back to bed now. I guess I should add the Disclaimer back to the bottom of the page before I do that. I moved it to its own page after the last Bloody Mary’s incident because I had to add a bunch of legal shit to cover my ass. Still loving the fact that my fake troll post on Insta drew in so much traffic. I totally faked them out! They’re all reading the Halftime Show like, “Wait, this isn’t Bloody Mary’s. This is a totally different character we’ve never seen before! That makes sense considering she wrote those stories like 8 years ago and was actually, literally banned from the bar as a result. Why would she be writing about them? She doesn’t know anything anymore. What is there to say? Of course she went off and found a million other things to write about. She just hasn’t started publishing that stuff on her website yet. There’s literally 10 years of material sitting in a binder on her desk that no one has even seen yet. But they have seen Bloody Mary’s, so she’s just gonna use the nostalgia bait to rope ’em back in. And guess what? IT WORKED! That’s actually pretty amazing.”
Allow me to sit here and pat myself on the back.
Well done, Betsey. Well done, indeed…