Sunday. Yesterday is over, thank god. We have a new set of challenges to deal with today. It’s the same set of challenges as it was before. It’s just that I’m actually dealing with them today instead of pushing them off.
I regret going downtown last night. After I left the pub, everything just got crazy. It was so crazy, I had to wait for three different trains to come before I could board one. The upside is that I caught a pretty cool show while I was waiting. Gotta love a good dragon dance.
Finally got back to my neighborhood, where I immediately went down to the American Bar for free drinks and the Six Nations Rugby Tournament. Ireland won, of course. It was all very grand.
The next game after was England – Scotland. This game began with an opening ceremony featuring Princess Anne walking down the team line and greeting each player one by one. She had a little quip for all of them. It was actually quite fun to watch these guys get flustered by her. She’s the first Royal I’ve seen in awhile who I was like, “She’s so relatable.” Imagine having Prince Andrew as a brother, though. Ewww. He’s so gross!
That’s enough talk about the Royals for now. My family didn’t get on a boat and sail to America so that I would have to care what the British Royal Family does. Somehow it keeps getting pushed in my face anyway. Alas.
Last night at the bar was… well… I don’t really know, to be honest with you. It was my night off. I was like, “I am here to watch hot men run around in shorts and get shitfaced. Leave me alone. I’ve had a difficult life, emotionally speaking.”
So that’s what I did. Have I figured out how rugby works as a Sport yet? Ummm… sort of. It’s like… you get the lads all together and there’s too much energy, right? So you give them a ball and send them outside to play in the backyard. They throw the ball around, maybe kick it a bit, run in circles, dive straight into the mud, and just kinda figure it out as they go along the way.
Something like that.
Yeah, Betsey, sure. Something like that.
By the end of Round 1, I was ready to put together a slideshow of the game’s Top 10 Best Grass Stains. Let’s get some more close-ups on the butts in the shorts. This is all I care about right now.
Yes, these guys do look pretty grand, but let’s be real about the downside of dating beefcakes: they tend to be pretty fucking dumb. Not exactly the award-winning national merit scholar types. I guess I’m okay with that because I have enough intelligence to do the thinking for both of us. He can just stand there next to me and look good.
Can’t wait to be featured on my very own season of WAGs. We’ll call it WAGs at SEA. It’s just me surrounded by a bunch of different Asian women with white Western boyfriends all yelling at each other. I’m just sitting in the corner sipping my drink, watching with wide eyes as they flip over the table and pull each other’s weaves out.
Yeah, I would watch this.
Well, that was my Valentine’s Day. So fun, right? Agreed. It was fun. Rugby is a great sport. It’s even better if you eat chocolate and drink alcohol while watching it. I will never be sad or lonely ever again as long as this sport exists.
And she lived happily ever after.
The End.